Been There
by Pied Piper
Summary: Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako, living in the heart of Tokyo, struggle with men, parents, and careers. What’s the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.
1. Chapter 1: Miyako

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything except what I actually do own. Like my computer.

**Author's Note**: I took down 'Only Alive' and will be incorporating it into this story, but you won't be able to tell. Ah well, it'll amuse me…. Don't like it, don't read it, but I hope it lives up.

* * *

Despite the overpowering panic that is slowly settling in the pit of my stomach, I'm actually pretty excited. Today I will be moving in with my long-time boyfriend, Ichijoji Ken, with whom I have been _madly_ in love since we met in grade school. I've been planning this moment for like, years, but I've been walking around in a daze all morning. Not that I'm having second thoughts or anything (have you _seen_ my boyfriend?), I'm just slightly overwhelmed by the idea. In a good way, of course. It's a big decision, but I'm looking forward to it with a sort of nervous enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, today is also the day I will be moving out of the apartment I've shared with my three best friends in the entire world. We've been through _everything_ together and (miraculously) we still like each other. Part of me desperately aches at the thought of leaving them, but they were actually the ones who encouraged me to take this big step. I know they're right (they generally are) but still…. I look around the flat now and realize for the first time how perfectly painful leaving it will be.

Takenouchi Sora is sitting at the kitchen table making a list of all the things that she says I should remember as I adjust to a full-time relationship. She warned me that living with a man is like being trapped against my natural feminine will, but I know better. Sora may joke a lot about the opposite sex in a very condescending way, but she is a romantic at heart who melts at the smallest gesture of love. She is a fashion designer for a big business company in Tokyo, and it seems like she knows _half_ the city. She's always working and flying for shows at all the big world cities, but her favorite stress-relieving pastime is gardening. She keeps a miniature greenhouse on the balcony of the flat, which everyone dubs "Sora's Corner" and is basically off-limits unless given special permission to stroll around by the gardener herself (not that there's much room to stroll anyway).

I want to cry now that I remember the vinery and plants that could take over all of Japan in a matter of two months. I can't believe I'll never have to deal with garden bugs again!

Turning away, I spot Yagami Hikari labeling my boxes for me. She's always doing things like that, helping me with stuff I usually forget. And she never expects anything in return. She's one of those few individuals who help people for the sake of helping people. That's why she's a teacher, and a really good one at that. She teaches second grade at a private school a little distance away from the apartment, but she loves living in the city so she doesn't mind the commute. I shared a room with her in college, and ever since then we've been the best of friends. There isn't anything I haven't told Hikari.

But now that I think of it, I won't have her around to talk to until three in the morning anymore…. I'll just have Ken, and he's not even a night person! He's a morning person! Dear God, why did I ever get involved with a _morning_ person? They're practically a different species!

Hikari sees me hyperventilating, and she leaps over the boxes to grab my hand.

"Oh, Miyako, don't worry, it'll be all right!" she insists. As usual, she's read my mind and found the root of my panic-attack.

Sora looks up form the table with a worried expression. "You'll be fine, Miyako."

"I'm living with a _man_!" I wail. "How can you tell me I'll be fine?"

"But you love Ken, sweetie, and he loves you," Hikari reassures. "You'll see, things will work out. You're just nervous, that's all."

"I don't wanna leave!"

"It's not like we'll never see each other," Sora points out. (She's always been the sensible one.) "We'll still do everything together, just like always. The only difference is where we drop you off at night. See? Nothing's really going to change."

I sniffle quietly. "I guess you're right."

"That's a good girl," Hikari pats my hand lovingly. Then she glances at the clock on the stove. "Ken's going to be here soon. Are you ready?"

I nod. "Everything's packed."

"And if you forget anything, you can just come back later. Or send Ken to get it. He's your slave now." Sora grins. "That's one of the biggest perks about these things, you know."

I smile back, feeling a little better. Not that I would do that sort of thing to Ken. But on the other hand, it would be nice to have someone at your beck and call…. _Possibilities_.

Then I frown.

"But where's Mimi? I don't want to start moving until she's here."

Sora purses her lisp in thought. "Well, she did say she was having some trouble at the café earlier this morning. But she promised she'd be back in time. Besides, you know Mimi. She's _always_ late."

"I'm sure she'll get here any minute now," Hikari says.

We wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The doorbell rings. I fly towards it, throwing the door open eagerly. But I'm only greeted by the nervous smile of my boyfriend. His dark eyes brighten when he sees me.

"Hi," he greets simply, leaning in for a kiss.

But I shove him back and glance up and down the hallway. I can feel the panic-attack coming back.

"She's not here!"

"I'm sure she's on her way!" Hikari offers vainly.

"Who?" Ken asks, confused.

"Mimi," Sora explains. "We're waiting for her to come before-,"

"I'm not leaving until she gets here!" I declare nobly.

Ken smiles weakly, utterly confused about the rituals of female bonding. "I can wait."

"Go ahead and start loading the boxes in the car, Ken," Sora advises him. "It'll save time."

"Right." He steps inside and reaches for the nearest labeled box, but I slap his hand away. "No! I told you I'm not going anywhere until she gets here!"

"Now, Miyako-," Sora begins in her motherly tone, but I refuse to listen.

"Nothing happens until she comes. I want all of us to be here one last time."

Hikari nods understandingly, but Sora tries again to be the reasonable voice in the crowd.

"By the time Ken finishes loading the boxes, she'll be here anyway. This is the most economic way of-,"

I'm about to interrupt her when suddenly I hear footsteps in the hall. High heels click rapidly on the floor, nearing our door, and we all instantly recognize the sound. Hikari looks vindicated, "I told you she'd be here in time."

"Sorry I'm late," a soft voice gasps as a young woman darts through the door.

"We were expecting it," Sora smiles.

Tachikawa Mimi is gorgeous. A goddess through and through. I think she did some modeling back in the day, but she owns her own café now. She's a very talented cook. You wouldn't think so, but she's actually pretty business-savvy. Granted, mathematics is not her strongest skill, but she can bargain her way out of death if she tried. The only problem is most of her exploits get her in some nasty trouble once in a while, and she has a tendency not to think things through completely. But she usually pulls out of it okay. She has a knack for that, for making things work out in the end. It's in her personality to take things as they come and try and make the most out of it anyway.

"All right, Ken, now you can start."

He flashes me one of his killer smiles and I melt. After he leaves with the first box, I turn around to see Hikari stifling laughter. "You two are so cute," she gushes between giggles. "It's like you just met yesterday."

I flush, embarrassed, which only causes them to laugh even louder.

Then I notice the strange look on Mimi's face. She's a little pale, as though she'd been running, and her eyes have that nervous expression to them. I gaze at her carefully.

"Mi, are you all right?" I ask.

Sora and Hikari immediately turn to stare at her, frowning in their silent studies. Mimi is a little annoyed.

"No, no- I mean, yes! Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"I don't know. You just aren't acting like yourself."

"I'm nervous for you," she replies easily.

Sora smirks, "Liar."

"Am not!"

Mimi and Sora have been best friends for almost as long as Hikari and I have. They bicker and squabble constantly, but it's a sisterly kind of relationship that _no one_ on earth could break apart. They even have a tendency to finish each other's sentences. It's kind of scary sometimes.

Mimi throws her coat and purse on the couch.

"I'm fine. It's just been another hectic day at work. I don't know what I'm going to do."

Hikari becomes concerned, "Is it that new restaurant again?"

"Yes," Mimi grumbles. "They had this huge sign on the sidewalk and a girl dressed up as a cocktail waitress outside to attract people in."

"How sleazy!" I say.

"Tell me about it. And her outfit was hideous," Mimi tells Sora with a sigh. "But by the time I left there was a line going down the block to get a table. I'm losing more and more customers every day!"

"Not true," Hikari says. "Everyone loves your café. And people usually turn out more loyal than you'd expect."

"Thanks, Kari," Mimi smiles at her distractedly. "But if this keeps up, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do…."

"We'll think of something," Sora promises.

"Yeah," I agree. "This means war."

Mimi laughs. I love her laugh. It's so rich and contagious, and beautifully genuine. That's when Ken comes back, and he takes two boxes this time while the rest of us hurry to move things around so the bigger boxes are closer to the door. There's this one gigantic box (clothes) that I try shoving out the bedroom door, but it gets stuck by the sofa. So I grab one end of the couch.

"Hikari, help me move this out of the way," I call to her.

She comes over and we struggle to drag the sofa away. Mimi's purse falls over the edge when I jerk my end of the couch too hard. Hikari reached down to grab it and freezes. I frown at her.

"What's the matter?"

Her eyes are huge.

"Hikari?"

Her mouth drops open but she can't bring herself to speak. Instead, she reaches down to pick a small carton from off the floor where it had fallen out of Mimi's purse. I lean forward to read the label when Mimi suddenly jumps for it, grabbing it from Hikari's hand so fast it takes us a full minute to realize what happened.

Hikari straightens, her brown eyes still huge.

"It's nothing!" Mimi sputters.

"What's nothing?" Sora asks interestedly.

"Nothing!"

"Well, it has to be _something_," I protest, immediately curious.

"What're you hiding?" Sora demands.

"Nothing!"

Hikari squeaks out a laugh of disbelief, then claps a handover her mouth when Mimi shoots her a look.

"Then if you're so innocent, let's see it." Sora holds out her hand expectantly.

"See what?" Mimi asks.

Sora narrows her eyes. She looks like your mother when she does that. "_Mimi_."

The woman bites her lips and refuses to speak.

"Come on, just let me see what it is-,"

She shakes her head violently.

"Mimi, you're acting like a child!"

Hikari makes another noise- a cross between a giggle and a snort- and Mimi glances at her pleadingly. But the younger woman shakes her head, wiping away the amused expression and frowning slightly at her dear friend. "Mimi, this is serious."

"I don't even know if it's true," she protests, breaking her silence and devoting her attention solely on the youngest member of our musketeer band.

"Know if what's true?" Sora interrupts.

I place my hands on my hips sternly. "Guys, come on. I don't want to leave with all this secrecy and deception. Those aren't good vibes. Do you want to curse my relationship?"

Mimi looks away, chewing her lip worriedly.

"Mimi, come on. You can tell us anything, you know that," Sora tries again. She takes a step towards her. "We're your friends. Any problem of yours is our problem, too. We've been there, done that, remember?"

She smiles faintly. "Not this one," she murmurs. It's especially serious when a woman like Mimi takes a philosophical tone like that.

I feel my brow crease in concern. "Mimi? What is it?"

With a loud sigh, she finally throws the carton on the ground, stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest resolutely. She looks irritated now, though not by us. Her foot taps impatiently on the floor while the rest of us gather around the object to examine it carefully. Sora gasps aloud and I feel like I have to sit down. In fact, I do. I collapse onto the sofa and clutch my heart.

"You're not serious?" I cry.

"Those things are hardly accurate," Mimi dismisses easily. "I wouldn't trust them."

"But- but-," I stutter, still reeling in shock.

Sora's face is the palest I've seen in years. She stares long and hard at the carton, and then searches Mimi's face with a concerned desperation. "How long have you suspected-?"

"Three weeks," she answered shortly. I can see how uncomfortable she is, even around us.

Hikari's doing some quick calculations in her head. "That's enough time for these tests to be fairly efficient with the results."

"So? It could still be a mistake." Mimi pauses. "It _is_ a mistake." She closes her eyes and leans against the wall. "Oh, God, this is all a mistake," she moans. Sora is at her side in a second, holding onto her arm for support. "This is ridiculous, Sora!" Mimi goes on, opening her eyes again. "Completely ridiculous! I can't- not _now_!"

"It's okay, honey," Sora says soothingly, stroking her arm.

But Mimi's shaking her head. "It's _not_. It's _not_."

I bite my lip nervously, dropping my voice low. "Do you know who- who's the father?"

Mimi groans and sinks to the floor.

"I'm sorry!" I apologize in a panic. "I'm sorry! That's a horrible thing to ask right now! I don't know why I brought it up! I'm so sorry, Mimi! I swear I didn't mean anything by it-,"

"Calm down, Miyako, I'm not upset with you," she interrupts dully. She buries her face in her hands. "I can't even _remember_ when this happened."

"Really?" Hikari asks, kneeling down on the other side of her.

"Really," she affirms miserably. "I have no idea…. Oh, God, I'm going to be an awful mother!"

"That's not true," Sora says swiftly. "You're just going to have an awful father."

"But I don't even know who the father is!" Mimi starts to laugh. "I must be going insane! I can't believe this is happening to me!"

"You don't have any idea?"

"I broke up with Yamato a while ago-,"

"-not that far back-," I correct.

"-and then there was that stupid fling with Taichi-,"

"-baka-," Sora interjects moodily.

"-but then I think I was drunk when Daisuke took me to that party at his friend's house a few weeks ago-,"

"-never trust Daisuke-!" Hikari warns.

"-oh, and Michael came back to see me that one week, but nothing happened. At least I don't _think_ anything happened…."

"_My God, Mimi_!" I burst out, hand over my mouth. "I know you're scared of commitment, but seriously, _four_ potential-?"

Mimi scrunches up her face tearily. "I really _am_ going to be a horrible mother!"

I go over to her and give her a hug, which is a signal for the other two to give her a hug as well. Pretty soon we're all pressed together in a really awkward embrace that's strangely comforting in its own way. Mimi's sniffling, Hikari's frowning, Sora's thinking, and I'm crying (more like wailing).

"We're all going to be fine," I insist through tears. "We'll get through this, too."

Sora agrees. "We'll figure this out, don't worry."

"It will come together in the end, you'll see," Hikari comforts, squeezing Mimi's shoulder.

"I'm too young for this!" Mimi whimpers. "I'm not ready for this! I can't do it! I'm not even married! My parents are going to _freak_-,"

"Never mind the career, never mind the parents, never mind the men," Sora interrupts forcefully. "We've got each other, remember? You've got us."

But Mimi's still shaking her head. "I can't- I can't- I just don't know-,"

"Come on, we'll make it. When have we let each other down before? That's not going to start now. Nothing will separate us."

"Not even Ken," I quip up as a joke, my voice a little strained, and they all laugh a little, relieved, just as he walks through the door.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2: Sora

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

Mimi, after Hikari took her to the doctor to get the test verified later that week, finally admitted it to herself that she was pregnant, and it at once became the rest's responsibility to take care of her. I mean, come on, we're practically sisters.

So Miyako made herself in charge of organizing Mimi's health and exercise life. She's started reading up on pregnancies and what to do both before and after, considering Mimi hates reading. Hikari's helping her. I decided to help the business, so I spend a lot more time over at the café now (the rival restaurant's uniforms really are hideous, by the way). And Mimi- well, she's already got enough to concern herself with for the moment, but we managed to convince her to start seriously figuring out who the father is. After all, whoever he is has to _at least_ take _half_ the responsibility. Any man who would consider opting out completely of this sort of situation doesn't deserve to be a man. I told Mimi this, and she almost started crying again. Hormones.

Anyway, last night we went through a detailed analysis of the situation, all four of us, over pizza and ice cream and stir-fried chicken. Again, hormones.

We took Daisuke out first because Hikari insisted he would never do anything like that, and he and Mimi are too close to cross any lines. It's a brother-sister relationship. It's actually pretty cute.

But Mimi still swears she has no idea what happened during the party. Miyako made Ken, who happens to be Daisuke's best friend, call him and ask if he remembered anything, and it turns out he did: He got drunk and broke into the pool house of his friend's apartment complex while Mimi went home early from a headache (she hates to admit it, but she really can't keep up with all the younger twenty-something's parties that much anymore). So Daisuke's out. (Thank God.)

And as a side note, I'd like to point out that Hikari seemed rather relieved when Miyako crossed his name off the list. I think I'll keep an eye on her.

So then we were down to the final three.

The first person we considered was Ishida Yamato, Japanese rock star and all-around image of perfection.

Now, one thing you must know is that Yamato is the god to Mimi's goddess. In fact, Yamato was Mimi's longest boyfriend. But their passionate love sort of ended up in a slightly cold simmer, with nothing very interesting in the relationship left for either of them. So they "broke up" two years ago.

Yes, I said two years.

You'll probably never meet another couple more perfectly content with just being friends. They just make _mistakes_ every now and then.

Only, last month was it- they really did break up- it really was the end. _Really_.

So Mimi's hoping it isn't him. But I personally feel that he's the best choice out of the three. He's smart and resourceful and sweet-natured when he wants to be. And he definitely knows how to take care of a woman. Despite his famous status and all the pressures that could have changed him, he's managed to stay somewhat sane. And even though his career takes him on a lot of country-wide tours, he always makes a point to stay in touch with all of us here at home.

Now there's a mature man. And have I mentioned he can cook, too? Like I said, a god. An absolute, gorgeous, blonde and blue-eyed god.

Where was I?

Oh- right. The list.

Well, anyway, Mimi's not so sure if it's him or not. Their last- uh, _mistake_- was maybe five weeks ago, give or take a few days. He's been on tour ever since. But he's staying on the list anyway, until we get _all_ the details.

Next is Taichi. Yagami Taichi, to be exact. Yes, you're right, he's Hikari's brother. Older brother, but I personally believe he lucked out in the intelligence factor of the family genes. He's a business man, the CEO of a huge (I mean _huge_) corporate company in downtown Tokyo that has smaller branches spreading as far as London and Sydney. So he's in charge of _a lot_ of people. Unfortunately, he's also reckless, idiotic, irresponsible- basically, everything Yamato is not. Whereas Yamato's matured in his rise to the top, Taichi only seems to have gotten worse. He's let this millionaire image get to his head, which is about the size of a hot-air balloon.

Now Mimi knows all of this. _Taichi_ even knows all this, but he could care less what people think of him.

Problem is that they're each other's comfort people. While most of us would have a comfort food (mine is beef jerky, don't ask why), Mimi has a comfort man. The same for Taichi; Mimi's the woman he always goes to after yet another failed attempt at a relationship (he's absolutely blind to the possibility that all those failures could- God forbid- be _his_ fault).

You would think that would be awkward for them.

But, alas, no.

Even though both know how wrong it is, they succumb to it again and again (and _again_). The three of us disapprove of the whole situation (actually, I'm not really sure what Hikari feels about it) but Mimi insists he's good enough to keep when she needs it. Like when she finally _really_ broke up with Yamato a little over a month ago. She went straight to Taichi and spent a whole week in his apartment. She has a tendency to do that. Taichi's butler Li's already memorized all of Mimi's favorite dishes and has their ingredients stocked and ready to go, just in case.

But after this final break-up with Yamato, Mimi got really tired with going to Taichi all the time, so she claims to have ended that too, sometime during that week. Yeah, okay, I _totally_ believe that one. But she seems serious about it, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

Taichi, on the other hand, I've completely lost faith in. I've known him too long, I'm afraid. And if faced with the possibility of parenthood- or the consequences of his infamous exploits- there's no doubt in my mind that he would bolt for the nearest exit.

Now, by all possibilities, Mimi could already have been pregnant when she went to Taichi, but then again- it's all so close together, none of us are very sure.

So cross your fingers and hope it isn't him.

And lastly, there's Michael. Now I don't know much about Michael, since he lives in America, but Mimi knew him when she used to live there. But I do know they were once pretty close. Really, really close. He wanted to marry her. Mimi panicked and fled the restaurant when he presented her with a ring.

See, Mimi's not the marrying kind. She pretends to be, but I think the idea of committing herself to one man literally scares her. Not that she's the type to sleep around a lot (and despite all you must have gathered about her, she really isn't that kind of person, she just keeps sleeping with the same people again and again), but she's just really confused by the demands of a serious relationship.

It's like a strange kind of claustrophobia.

She says that's why she can keep going to Taichi so easily; he suffers from the same commitment-anxiety. A match made in heaven, if you ask me.

Sarcasm. Ha, ha.

Anyway, Michael came to visit her maybe a month ago. I remember clearly: Mimi was at Taichi's and Michael came over to our apartment looking for her, and Miyako stuttered her way through a very complicated explanation as to why Mimi wasn't there without telling him where she indeed was. Miyako's the only one in our group that will lie for Mimi, especially when she's with Taichi because that's the only time when Mimi needs lies to be told on her behalf anyway since Taichi's so very popular and any gossip going around might ruin their vocational reputations. At least, that's Mimi's reasoning. I say if it takes so much effort to hide it, just don't do it. But hey, who listens to me?

Then, after Mimi came back, she and Michael went out to dinner and she came home really, really late. But further examination revealed nothing happened. Michael's not that kind of guy, it turns out, even though it's as obvious as day that he's still wildly in love with her. But he's off the list.

It makes you wonder sometimes, though. Mimi has one man who's willing to give her the world if she would only ask, another who's one of the hottest off-again-on-again boyfriends she has, and yet another who's excellent in bed and very willing to prove it. Some girls have all the luck. But then, she did get pregnant. Never mind.

So that's it. It's either one or the other. Isn't there a way to figure out when the date of conception was? I think I read about that somewhere…. I'll have to ask Jyou.

This morning Mimi's in one of her mood swings. Now she's depressed again. She has her fluffy pink bathrobe tied around her and her hair's pulled up in a ponytail. She's sitting on a stool with her arms splayed out on the kitchen table, lying face-down.

"Mi, should I make you some coffee?" I offer kindly. Hikari's gone to work and Miyako is at Ken's- or her's and Ken's now, I guess- but I decided to stay home and be with Mimi today.

She sniffles loudly. Uh-oh. Here come the waterworks.

"Sora- Sora, I just remembered." Her voice is muffled. "I haven't told my parents yet!"

I wince.

"Well, frankly, I think you should wait until we figure out the father-issue before telling your parents."

Houston, we have lift-off!

Mimi sits straight up and starts crying- _loudly_. You'd have thought Gucci went bankrupt. I jump off the sofa and rush to her, a comforting arm wrapped around her shoulders. I pull her close, letting her cry on my shoulder.

"It's all right, sweetie. I told you, it'll be all right."

"Why is this happening to me?" she wails.

"Well-," I start to say, hesitating when I think about the lecture I'd prepared about such consequences. But I don't think she's in the mood to listen to all that now.

"Sora, I don't even know _how_ to take care of a baby. I _hated_ baby-sitting."

"That's why you've got us, remember?" I shift her a little to make us both more comfortable. "See, Miyako _loves_ kids. She'll be over all the time to help when the baby comes. And Hikari's a teacher, isn't she? And I'll be here to take care of you. It's one big happy family!"

"It sounds like a bad sitcom."

We both start giggling. This is good. Mimi's calmed down and back to her old self.

Mimi sighs after a while. "And I'm glad I have all of you, I really am. But I just- I don't know. What if I never find out who the father is?"

"You won't need to. The baby will have plenty of father figures. Miyako has Ken, so he'll be over all the time. Jyou will help, and he's a doctor, so that's another plus. Koushiro- well, we'll have to think about him…. And Takeru just invites himself over whenever he feels like it. He's practically our little brother, isn't he? I know he likes kids, too."

"Maybe…." She looks sad.

I pat her head. "Listen, you eat some breakfast while I take a shower, okay? Then we'll go shopping. I know, how about a manicure? Those always perk us up, don't they?"

She nods miserably. "Okay."

"Good girl," I kiss her forehead.

I'm about to go when the phone rings. I start to head for it but Mimi, trying to be kind, waves me away and picks it up herself.

"Hello?" she asks lethargically. Then her eyes widen. "_Yamato_!" she squeaks. "What are you-? Oh- but I thought- well, that's great- yeah…. How long? Wow, how nice for you- You _what_? _Here_? I don't know if that's a- well, I…. You're _what_? _Already_? When? Well, why didn't you-? Oh, oh so you're coming over now?" She throws me a wild look. _He's coming over now_, she mouths to me in desperation. I try hard not to roll my eyes. "Oh- no, no- I don't have a problem…no, I just- I've been having some hard days at work, that's all- No, no, don't worry, I'm fine! I'm fine, totally _fine_! Sure! I'll see you later! Okay, bye!"

She puts the phone down and screams.

Not just a shout of frustration; a downright full blood-curling, high-pitched scream of _terror_.

I literally jump into the air; for a second I'm positive my heart stopped beating. "Mimi!"

"He's coming here! _Now_! I can't see him _now_!"

"Okay! Okay! Calm down! Seriously, Mimi, calm! Be calm!"

She takes several deep breaths and is gasping like she's run up ten flight of stairs.

"Listen to me," I say, taking her by the shoulders. "Go into the shower, and I'll get him to leave before you come out, okay?"

Her eyes are huge. "But-,"

"No, no 'buts'," I correct firmly. "Just leave it to me." I escort her to the bedroom and practically throw her inside. "Just take your time!"

She obeys, half out of shock, and I rush around trying to make myself look presentable. I change my clothes, start the coffee machine, and throw away the old pizza boxes. I'm wiping off the kitchen counter when the doorbell rings. _Shit_! He must have called from the cell phone!

Cursing again, I wipe my hands on my jeans and run to the door.

He's wearing a black T-shirt over dark denim jeans, with a black leather jacket. You know, I bought that for his birthday way back in college when we were all young and clueless. He says it's the most comfortable jacket he's ever owned, though he probably doesn't realize that that's because he's worn it in. Not that I'm complaining.

"Hey, Sora," he smiles widely, pulling me in for a quick hug. "I thought you were working today."

"Uh, no. I took the day off, you know. For the heck of it."

"Wish I could do that," he laughs.

Dear _God_, he's gorgeous.

I turn away quickly, for fear of drooling right there in front of him, and march awkwardly to the coffee pot. "Want a drink?"

"Not this early, thanks."

"I meant coffee."

"Oh! Right. Ah, sure."

I pass him a mug and we both sit at the kitchen table. He looks around the room. "Wow, how come every time I'm here something looks different?"

"Maybe you don't pay enough attention to the details."

He grins over the top of his cup. "Didn't Miyako say she was moving out this week?"

I nod. "Yep. She did, too. It's been six days since she moved in with Ken."

"How are they doing?"

"All right, I think."

"Then when's the wedding?"

I laugh. "I don't know if Ken's thinking that far yet."

"But Miyako has?"

"Of course! She's been planning their marriage since they were twelve."

"And you haven't?"

I raise an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs innocently. "Isn't that what girls are supposed to do when they're twelve?"

"Well, every one likes to imagine the future," I defend. "Haven't you thought about it?"

"Only once."

Of course.

We chit-chat for a while longer and he tells me all about his tour. I tell him about my job (thought it's not half as glamorous as his, but he still listens with interest) and then we're off on random topics of conversation. I'm trying to think of an excuse to get him to leave, but he's just so much fun to talk to- damn my weakness!

About a half-hour later, I glance back at Mimi's bedroom. I can hear the shower turning off. Uh-oh.

Unfortunately, Yamato's heard it, too.

"Uh- that's Hikari," I say before he can interrupt. "It's a- a teacher workday at school and she's going in after lunch."

He frowns. "But isn't that Mimi's bedroom?"

"Her shower is really nice."

We stare at each other. I swear, you can just get lost in those baby blues without even knowing it, without even a chance of breaking free. How does he _do_ that?

"Isn't Mimi here?" he asks slowly.

"She stepped out for a while."

"But she picked up the phone-,"

"Er, yeah, but she stepped out for a while," I repeat, feeling nervous.

"How long?"

Geez, does he ever give up?

"I really don't know." I shrug and put the empty mugs in the sink.

He sighs, "It's all right then. I can wait. I was thinking we could all go out to lunch, you know. I have another studio session next week, and I want to spend as much time as possible with my friends before I have to leave again."

Isn't he just the _sweetest_ thing?

"We can go out tomorrow-,"

"What's the big deal about today?" He looks confused. "She sounded like she was all right with me coming over-,"

"I know, but-,"

"Something's not wrong, is it? Is she upset with me or something? Is that why she left?"

"No, no, not you-,"

"So then she _is_ upset?"

"That's not what I-,"

"Sora, what's going on? How come you want to get rid of me all of a sudden?"

"I'd never get rid of you!"

He shoots me a look. "_Sora_. Come on, tell me."

Footsteps sound in the doorway of her bedroom. She must be coming out soon.

"So you'd better go, anyway-,"

"I only just got here-,"

"Yeah, but Hikari and I are going out and the apartment's going to be empty, so-,"

"I can wait by myself."

"Oh, but that's such horrible etiquette! I can't leave a guest alone!"

He stands up. "Well, then, I'll come with you and Hikari and we'll all meet Mimi here after we're done with your errands."

Why do blondes have to be so thick-headed? Can't they take a hint? No offense to all you blondes, but seriously, Yamato can just be so-

"Oh, no, you can't!"

"I can't?" He raises his eyebrows.

"It's a personal errand," I explain meekly.

He looks irritated now. I can't blame him. "Sora, what's g-?"

The door's opening, and I panic. Before he can finish his sentence, I grab his hand and yank him forward. "Not a sound," I hiss, throwing him into the closet.

"Sora-," he cries, confused and bewildered, but I glare at him viciously and shut the door in his face.

I'm leaning against it when Mimi steps out of her room.

"Is he gone?" she asks worriedly. She's wearing a flower-patterned summer dress with large sunglasses, an outfit I'd designed months ago and she insisted I order for her. What is with people and wearing clothes I pick out for them today? What is it, some kind of sign from God? I can hear Him now: _Don't mess with other people's business, Sora_.

"Uh-,"

"Oh, good," she sighs in relief. She pulls out her handheld mirror and starts touching up her mascara. Then she picks up her purse. "Ready?"

I stare at her blankly. "For what?"

"You said we'd go shopping, remember? To get my mind off things."

Another thing you should know is that when you promise Mimi you'll go out with her, you'd better sure as hell go out with her or you'll risk provoking her wrath. As commitment-phobic as she is, when it comes to short-term promises, she keeps them, and she'll expect you to keep them too.

I hear Yamato shifting in the closet and I recall the confused look on his face while he was worrying about having upset her. I instantly want to do something for him, feeling terrible that he should be going around clueless like this. And Mimi has to be decisive. For God's sake, she's going to be a _mother_ in eight months.

"Mimi, I think you ought to tell Yamato the truth."

She stares at me.

"I will."

I swallow my surprise and stress, "_Now_."

"Sora, I _will_ tell him. But I can't now. I have to think about it first."

"You can't just put it off. He deserves to at least be _aware_ of what's happening. He'd want to know everything, from the very beginning."

"And he will. But I just-,"

"The longer you put it off, the harder it will become," I point out wisely.

"I _know_. But it's a delicate subject."

"Not so. You just have to be honest-,"

"Oh really?" she shoots back. "Do you want me to just blurt it out? I have to plan strategy."

"It's not a war of invasion, Mimi."

She's irritated now, and it's getting more and more obvious. She puts her hands on her hips and glowers. "And how would you have me say it? 'Hello, Yamato! Great news! I think I'm having your child!'"

There is a loud thud in the closet.

Yamato has fainted.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3: Hikari

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own. The titles I mention in this chapter are ones from my imagination, but if there actually does exist a book by that name, it was by mere coincidence. I had no intention of stealing titles. Keep your titles, please. Just let me have my innocent fun.

* * *

I love teaching. The kids are so sweet and adorable, even though they can get a little messy now and then. But grade school is supposed to be fun and carefree (at least the beginning years) and I want to make sure my kids enjoy this part of their lives. I try to make the class as creative as possible. Once, I even talked Takeru into dressing up as a shogun warrior for my history lesson plan. The kids fell in love with him, but then, so does everyone. 

But now that we've found out Mimi's secret, I can't help but look at my kids differently.

Boy or girl?

Dimples, pale complexion, or big eyes?

Quiet or loud?

Black hair or dark brown?

Yamato or Taichi?

_God have mercy._

I love my brother, I really do. There's no one like him on earth (which is a good thing, because I don't think the world could handle another him) and I wouldn't trade him for any other sibling. Despite a gap in age, we've always been pretty close. Thus, I know a great deal of the crazy things he's done as a kid, which have only gotten crazier as an adult. Not to say that he's lazy or fast; he just knows what he wants and he goes for it. That drive and ambition got him where he is now, after all, and he loves where he is. But sometimes I just- I don't know. I mean, Sora _is_ right. He _has_ changed a lot from what he used to be.

And I don't know why.

I'd like to blame his job. It's incredibly demanding.

Not only that, but his popularity in the business world gets him a lot of attention from both other corporations looking for an investment opportunity and women looking for a bed partner for a night. He _is_ one of the wealthiest in our group. He's got two apartments in Tokyo alone, plus another in Taipei, one in Sydney, and a very lovely penthouse in New York that I've got extra keys to (as though I could ever scrounge up enough money on a teacher's salary to fly to New York for the weekend…but it makes me happy all the same).

And, as my own fellow teachers constantly remind me during breaks or before and after school, he's attractive. And suave. And just an all-around a dream date. They swoon whenever I mention his name in a passing remark; they all think it's so strange that I actually work despite my rich connections.

_Well_. That's all I say.

They don't know that somewhere in all that glamour and fame and popularity, he's lost himself. But I honestly don't think he wants to do anything about it. That's what worries me the most, not whether or not I just might be an aunt in eight months. I worry that Taichi won't handle it right. I worry he will do something he'll regret. I worry because I _don't_ know what he's going to do, despite the close bond we used to have, and I'm too scared to even say anything to him, even though I just know the others are going to make me tell him if Mimi won't.

I stop fretting and look at the clock. It's into the evening now. It's been a long, long day.

So I get up and put my things in order, rearranging the desks and setting everything just right for tomorrow. Then I say goodbye to a few friends down the hall and head to the bookstore.

I promised Miyako earlier that I would meet her at this one very large bookshop near the apartment so we can browse through the selections for things Mimi might need. Miyako wanted Mimi to come with us, but Sora decided to stay home and be with her today. I thought that was a good idea; Mimi needs some cool-down time to really soak in what's happening. According to the doctor I took her to earlier that week, she's exactly five weeks pregnant, which is when mood swings kick in. Mimi in a mood swing is something to be avoided, and Sora's the only one out of us who's brave enough to stick with her during the difficult tantrums.

I arrive at the bookstore fifteen minutes before Miyako gets off from work. She's a sales representative for a department store downtown, though she hates the job. She says that when she marries Ken, she's just going to quit and be a homemaker. We'll see.

Getting a little bored, I decide to go ahead and start browsing, making sure my cell phone is on vibrate so it won't disturb the silent, tomb-like atmosphere if Miyako calls. It's almost like a library in here. Everyone talks in whispers. It's rather intimidating, but it also has the best selection of non-fiction material in this part of the city. That's what Ken says, anyway, and Miyako will do anything he says.

Some of these books really try too hard to get your attention. Exhibit A: _Baby, Baby, Baby!_

Oookaaaayyy….

_Pregnancy Do's and Don'ts. _

Maybe. I'll keep that one in mind until Miyako comes.

_So You Think You're Pregnant?_

Definitely not that one.

_Baby Names. _

_Unique Baby Names. _

_Cultural Baby Names_.

Something tells me it'll be better to wait a few more weeks before bringing that subject to the table.

_Papahood 101_.

I wince automatically. Then I shake my head determinedly and pick it up, glancing through the contents. It seems to be a good one, actually. It's written by a man for a man. _Which one? _is my only question….

I put the book back and keep browsing.

_Preparing for Parenthood_.

Maybe they have something in that one. I reach for it, but it's stuck. I pull and tug and finally yank it back, and am totally surprised to see that another person's hand had been reaching for it through a gap in the other side of the shelf. I bend over to peer through the hole and almost trip over myself.

"_Taichi_?" I exclaim, earning myself a nasty glare from a fellow customer.

"Hey," he greets nonchalantly in the deep drawl my co-workers find irresistibly sexy (they've never met him, but they've still seen enough television interviews to develop several disturbing obsessions), frowning as he steps aside and continues to examine the selection of titles.

He disappears from my view, and I can only stare at the empty space where he used to be in utter shock. Then I recover, shaking my head, and tighten my grip on the book as I run over to the other side.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper hurriedly.

He's still dressed in a sharp business suit (dark black) over a silk, light purple dress shirt, his tie undone and draped loosely around his neck. He looks very relaxed, as usual, his wild chocolate brown hair sticking up all over the place, bringing the dark tan color of his skin into sharp focus against his wide brown eyes. Now, his forehead is wrinkled in a contemplative frown while he squints at an encyclopedia of common pregnancy terms. "Reading." He puts it back and steps away again.

I like to think that I know Taichi better than anyone, mainly because I'm his sister, but there are and will always be moments when he simply astounds me, leaves me speechless by his unpredictability.

"You read?" I gape stupidly.

He pauses to roll his eyes. "Funny, Kari. I'm not completely uncultured."

I glance down at the book in my hands. "But you- you're looking at-,"

"Baby books, yes." He sounds distracted as he squats to look at the lower shelves, running his hand over the spines of the tomes as he skims over them one-by-one.

I open my mouth and then close it a few times.

"I didn't get anyone pregnant, Hikari, you can relax. This is for Iori."

If I had been less in shock, I think I would have laughed and cried at the same time, but his last words throw me into a stupor. "_Iori_?"

"Uh-huh. He needs some book on parenting for his thesis. It's some complicated sociology, anthropology, and some kind of psychology thing I don't really understand, but he's doing the work at Kyoto and he can't find the book there. So he sent Daisuke an email asking him to get the book for him, but Daisuke's got a date tonight so he asked Koushiro, but Koushiro's working on a board meeting presentation and he asked Jyou, but Jyou's busy with a lot of unexpected new appointments so I finally got stuck with the job." He shrugs. "Well, it gives me an excuse to holiday in Kyoto for a weekend, so I really can't complain."

I'm still staring at him incredulously.

He tugs a thin, hardback book from between two large texts and shoves it under my nose. "What do you think about this one?"

"I-,"

"I don't know where people come up with all this crap to write about. How much can you say about parenting? It's something you learn as you go, not dictated in a play-by-play manual…." He trails off, bored, and tosses the book back on the shelf.

Then he notices something that makes him laugh. I look closer to see what it is: _Papahood 101_.

Oh, God. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God….

I swear, this has to be some kind of sign.

"Listen to this, Hikari," he says with a grin, flipping open to a self-help article on expectant fathers. He reads aloud, "'The most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. You are embarking on this new journey with your partner and-,"

"Hikari!"

I jump, startled, and spin around to discover Miyako racing towards me, looking very apologetic for being late. She comes to a screeching halt when she spots Taichi standing with me, directly below the big cardboard sign declaring our shelf as the Pregnancy and Parenting Section. I feel faint.

"T-Ta-Taichi-," she stammers, blinking several times.

He raises an eyebrow in curious amusement, not saying anything. Miyako and I exchange a look. He notices.

"Am I missing something?" he asks innocently.

"No!" Miyako says too quickly. I close my eyes. She's horrible at disguising emotions, she really is.

Taichi's staring at me now.

"Hikari…?"

"Everything's fine, Tai," I say cheerfully.

He narrows his eyes. "I can tell when you're lying, you know. I haven't been your brother for all twenty-six years of your life just to turn a blind eye to your odd habits now."

"I don't have any odd habits," I defend, pointedly changing the subject.

"We're as normal as we always are," Miyako adds to be helpful. It isn't.

"Uh-_huh_." He puts the book back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demand, trying to change the direction this conversation is heading.

"Nothing."

"Taichi-,"

"Hey, don't take that warning tone with me. You can't expect me to spill my guts when you won't tell me what's going on with you."

"Nothing's going on with me," I respond truthfully.

He folds his arms over his chest. "Then what are you doing looking at baby books?"

_Uh-oh._

I try to think of something quick while Miyako starts hyperventilating in the background.

"Well, you see, I- I'm-,"

"-pregnant?" he fills in lowly. He looks ready to growl. He always was one of those overprotective-big-brother types.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. My mind is completely blank. Why am I here? Oh right- Mimi. W_hat do I do?_ I think. _Should I tell him? Do she want anyone to know now? Somebody somewhere send me a sign!_

"Who's the bastard, Kari?" he demands.

"_Excuse me_?" Miyako shrieks.

He throws up his hands in defense. "I didn't mean it like that! I was talking about the son-of-a-bitch who got her-!"

"I'm not pregnant," I interrupt quickly. "Really, I'm not. I just- I was just browsing."

He's looking very suspicious now. He doesn't say anything.

"I'm meeting Miyako here for coffee," I go on. "And I was just looking around to pass the time."

Miyako's pale as a sheet. I look at her and she nods stiffly.

"I don't believe you," Taichi decides after a few moments.

"Taichi, would I lie to you?" I ask sweetly.

"Is that a trick question?"

"Taichi!"

"I'm kidding-,"

"Don't be fooled, Tai. It's the prettiest faces you've got to be careful of," a new voice interjects. We all look around to see a miniature Ishida Yamato sauntering up to us. He's dressed comfortably in slacks and a button-down cotton shirt. With a baseball hat to shield his sapphire blue eyes from the afternoon sun, he looks like he stepped out of carpenter show. All he needs is a plaid jacket and one of those handy-man utility belts.

Takaishi Takeru can pull any outfit off, and as a reporter, the many disguises get him around. He writes for one of Tokyo's major newspapers where he covers the sports section. This is extremely convenient for any of his friends: he always has tickets to a game when you're bored.

He's Yamato's younger brother, too, so people have a tendency to misidentify him in passing sometimes. But Takeru doesn't mind. He's really proud of Yamato. He just can't understand why he himself has no musical ability whatsoever (and that's the truth; never take him to karaoke- it literally hurts).

"Hi, Takeru," I greet brightly.

"Hey," he gives me and Miyako a quick kiss on the cheek, grinning happily at Taichi. "Want one, too?" he offers.

Taichi narrows his eyes. "Are you in on her secret as well?" he asks instead.

Takeru looks appalled at the notion.

"Taichi, you're my hero. I'd never keep anything from you."

"I'm going to find out what's going on," Taichi threatens all of us, "and then you all are going to be sorry." Heleans over and takes _Papahood 101_ from the shelf. "Right now, I'm going home to sleep off this damn hangover..."

Ah. So that's why he seems so distant. Why am I not surprised?

Takeru shrugs and shoves his hands in his pocket. Only after we see him leaving the store do we relax.

Takeru takes off his hat and runs a hand through his hair. "I swear to God he can read minds," he sighs loudly, slumping back against a bookcase. He glances at me. "But when are you going to tell him?"

"Wait- you know?" Miyako interrupts in surprise, utterly confused.

"Of course, I know," he dismisses her shock. "I'm a _reporter_. It's my _job_ to know."

Miyako's looking at me now, torn between relief and apprehension. "Then what do you think?"

He raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'What do I think'? What am I supposed to think?"

"I don't know. I just want to hear your reaction, that's all. I mean, it is unexpected, and your brother's going to freak when he finds out-,"

Takeru straightens. "What would Yamato care about Willis coming?"

"Willis is what?" I repeat.

"He's coming for Daisuke's birthday party in two weeks. He wants it to be a surprise for him, though, so that's why Taichi can't know either. They _do_ work together. And you know how big Taichi's mouth is when it comes to ruining Daisuke's life…then again, we all go out of our way to contribute to that…. But he sent the rest of us emails. Unless you haven't checked yours lately."

I hadn't.

Miyako's suddenly in giggles. I know why, but Takeru thinks differently. He's looking at her oddly, as though he expects her to be slightly demented. I can see where he might assume that; Miyako is not a giggling person. She's the sort who laughs loudly, and when she must repress it, it looks strange- to say the least. Besides, this time, Miyako's almost in tears from the irony and secrecy. She can't stand keeping secrets.

"You okay, Miyako?" Takeru asks her kindly.

She nods, hand over her mouth. He shoots me an alarmed look, but I'm trying hard not to laugh myself. Really, when you put this into context, this entire scene is hilarious. Oh, God, I need a drink. And I don't even drink!

"That's really sweet of him," I say instead.

"Well, he hasn't seen us in a long time. He thought it was time for another visit, and Daisuke's birthday seemed the easiest excuse." He winks.

I frown at him. "That's not funny."

"Yes, it is. Come on, Kari, it's so obvious how crazy he is about you. You're just in denial, but seriously, you're stringing him along playing hard-to-catch."

"I'm not playing anything," I correct crossly, "and I'm not in denial. I just-,"

"You just, what?" he asks with a smirk. "What's your excuse this time?"

"I don't have excuses. I just don't have the time for a relationship right now-,"

"Oh, please, Hikari," Miyako's now recovered and rolling her eyes. "Just admit it, for God's sake. He's cute! Go out with him! It's not going to kill you to give him one chance!"

I sigh. "Look, I know he's a great guy, but I just don't know if we'll have any chemistry-,"

"You'll never know if you don't try," Takeru interrupts wisely. "I think you said that to me once."

"Yes, and we didn't work."

"But at least we tried. And if we hadn't, we'd have gone on believing a false fantasy. Now, do you want to put Willis through that same thing?"

I turn away. "I'm hungry."

Miyako clicks her tongue in disapproval. "Oh, you are so bad."

"I'm hungry!"

"So, so bad," Takeru agrees, shaking his head.

"Two weeks, Kari, make your choice in two weeks," Miyako says, linking her arm with Takeru as they stroll towards the exit.

I pick up my pace to catch up with them, still sore that they would play this game with me after everything's that happening, trying to sort out what _is_ happening at the same time. So Takeru doesn't know. Taichi doesn't know. And Yamato doesn't know. In fact, the only males in our group who do know are- no, wait, only one knows: Ken.

_Great_.

We've got to do something. We can't just keep this a secret among the four of us until the baby actually comes.

That's when I decide to tell Takeru during dinner with Miyako. He's the first person Mimi would trust with the knowledge, too, I know, and so she would understand. Besides, I just don't think I can stand keeping anything secret from Takeru. I'd hate for him to find out and think the wrong thing when he learns I knew about it the whole time. I don't think he'd be hurt, but he'd definitely want to know why I waited so long to tell him, and as a reporter, he won't stand for anything but a good reason. And I don't think there are any good reasons for keeping secrets from your best friend.

That settles it.

He's going to know.

Now.

Determined, I march out of the bookstore and to the street corner where my two best friends have stopped, still linked together, staring across the street as they wait for the light to change.

"Takeru-," I call out, and he spins around in shock, as though he's forgotten I'm there.

"Hikari!" He grabs my hand and yanks me in the opposite direction. "Let's go this way!"

"What are you-?"

"Let's go, let's go!" he interrupts hurriedly, forcing a grin, and dragging me away. "You said you're hungry. There's a great restaurant down past this block-,"

"_Takeru_-,"

He tugs on my arm. "_Hikari_-,"

Miyako suddenly grabs my other hand and launches us both forward. "Enough chit-chat, I'm hungry!" she says in a fake voice that I immediately recognize.

"What are you two doing?" I ask again, irritated now.

"We're going out to eat with our best friends," Takeru declares. Always be wary when he speaks like this. He's an optimist by nature, but it's painfully obvious when he pushes it too far.

"Come on," Miyako pushes us around the corner, and I take advantage of their lapse in attention on me to look back for what they're trying to drag me away from.

Daisuke's sitting at one of those outside cafés with a beautiful young woman. She's stirring her large milkshake with a straw and he's leaning against the table, grinning. After a few words, she leans forward and he obliges her with a kiss, one of those deep, tongue-in-the-mouth kinds of kisses that he's legend for. She ends it and tweaks his nose, laughing. He steals the rest of her shake in revenge and she squeals at him, protesting. They fight over it, squabbling like children, until the straw flicks some ice cream onto his lower jaw. She kisses it away.

They look happy.

I pretend not to see.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4: Mimi

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own. By the way, I decided to put "Only Alive" back up because the storyline's too hard to intermix with this fic's. As a warning, however, I'll be changing some of it.

* * *

I didn't know he was in the closest. I didn't know he could hear everything. I didn't even know he was there (and I blame Sora for that one). And I certainly cannot be blamed for his fainting when he did find out. Who'd have thought he'd be so weak as to swoon over the smallest mention of fatherhood? Not to say that Yamato's weak. I just didn't expect him to faint over it. Although, when it comes to stress, Yamato's pretty unpredictable.

So when Sora opened the door guiltily and we discovered Yamato lying out cold on the floor of the closet, we just sort of stared at him for a moment before I started yelling at her. When I was through yelling myself hoarse, I ran out of the apartment, not wanting to be there when he woke up, and he was already giving the signs of coming back to conscious when his left eye started twitching and he started whimpering. So I left him to Sora, which I really don't think she minded. I haven't been her best friend for years to figure out a few things. Seriously, it's just the way she _looks_ at him.

There's only one problem with this whole "I've-got-a-thing-for-my-best-friend's-ex" syndrome: I don't know if I'm completely over Yamato. That is, when I first found out I was pregnant-

Holy shit, I'm pregnant.

Oh, God! My parents don't even know yet!

Moaning, I open the door to the kitchen of my café and collapse onto one of the counters. My evening chef, Huan, narrows his eyes suspiciously. He already knows about me situation because it's impossible to keep a pregnancy a secret in a kitchen- food cravings go wild.

"Miss Mimi, you okay?" he asks kindly.

"No!" I sigh. "Yamato found out today and he fainted."

Huan laughs. "Aw, gee. Imagine him when the baby actually _comes_."

"No! It's not funny, Huan! How am I supposed to talk to him now?"

"But didn't you talk to him when you told him the truth?"

"He was hiding in the closet. I didn't know he was there. And now I can't go back and talk to him. I just panicked and left, and ended up here. I'm so bad at this face-to-face thing…." I add meekly, "So I'm letting Sora tell him when he wakes up."

Huan's shaking his head disapprovingly. "No good, Miss Mimi. No good."

"I know, but it's just so _hard_. I don't even know what to say to him. I mean, his career is so demanding and he's already overworked enough-,"

"But it's his responsibility. That should make all the difference in the world."

I sigh.

"And that's not even the worst of it." I poke at the lettuce leaves that are draining in the sink. "My parents don't know."

"When are you going to tell them?"

"…When the baby goes off to college?"

"Miss Mimi-,"

"I know, I know. But you don't understand, Huan. My parents are the kind who thinks a girl ought to be married before she even _thinks_ about a man with lust. They'd die of shock if I told them I'm going to have a baby out of wedlock."

"All the more reason to tell them. Think of all the insurance money that would leave for you and the kid."

"Huan!"

"Just kidding."

I put my face in my hands. "I can't take this. I wanted to tell Yamato in a very formalized setting, with both of us acting like adults and being very responsible. And then I was going to tell my parents when I go visit them over the weekend, and I would tell them everything the doctor and Sora and Yamato said to reassure them. And then I was going to tell Taichi, because he doesn't get back from his business trip to Hong Kong until next Monday, so I was going to have Hikari help me tell him-,"

"Hong Kong?" Huan repeats, confused.

"Yes. He told me about it a couple weeks ago." I wince immediately, remember where and when he'd told me. Wouldn't it be ironic if he was the father and that was when we-

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean, 'am I sure'?"

Huan points to the door, "Because he's right out there."

I clap a hand over my mouth to bite back the scream and stare bug-eyed at the window on the top half of the door that gives a perfect view of the café sitting area. And sure enough, there's Taichi, dressed really casual in his jeans and white polo, looking around the room carefully. He comes during the evenings after work to have dinner here sometimes, mostly because I don't charge my friends for having meals here. Cheap bastard. As though he doesn't have money to spare….

Then he starts walking to the kitchen door.

I'm squealing through my fingers, waving hysterically at Huan who's trying valiantly not to laugh.

Then he wipes his hands on his apron and marches out the door, striking up conversation with Taichi. Taichi loves Huan. Or at least, he loves Huan's cooking. He's already offered him a job if I ever fire him. As if. Huan's mine.

Wanting to cry, I grab a paper bag and start breathing into it. I squeeze my eyes shut tight. I can't believe this is happening. First Yamato, now Taichi! This is so not how I planned it! I can't face either of them now! How am I supposed to look him in the eye when I'm carrying such a humongous secret? Oh God! I can't do this!

My cell phone starts ringing then, and I look down to see Yamato's name flashing in the caller ID.

_Oh mercy. Dear God in heaven_-

I press Ignore. It rings again. I press Ignore. It rings again. I can practically hear Yamato fuming on the other end. He knows I'm doing it on purpose. Uttering a prayer, I grab for it.

"Hello-?"

"Mimi! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I-,"

"Did you think I wouldn't try and help? Mimi, you know me! I'm not going to let you go through this alone!"

"I-,"

"Look, just come home, okay?"

"I-,"

"Please, we need to talk."

"I-,"

"Better yet, I'm coming right over to pick you up. We'll go somewhere quiet and talk it over, okay?"

"I-,"

"Are you at the café?"

"I-,"

"Great! I'll be there in five!"

The line cuts off.

See. I told you. When it comes to stress, it's like he morphs into a different person completely.

I'm still clutching my cell phone when Taichi walks through the door.

"Hey, Mi," he smiles lightly.

I think I'm going to puke.

He shoves his hands into his pockets. "So change of plans. I'm pushing the trip to Hong Kong next weekend. This Friday I've got to go down to Kyoto. I know you go see your parents on the last weekend of every month, so I thought we could go together. I have to see Iori at the University anyway, so I can just drop you off at your parents' and then pick you up on Sunday evening and we can come back to Tokyo together. Sound okay?"

I stare at him blankly.

"Mimi?" He raises an eyebrow. "Did you hear me at all?"

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out.

Extended silence.

"…What?" he asks in a very small voice, staring blankly.

"I'm pregnant," I repeat matter-of-factly, focusing on the collar of his shirt to avoid meeting his shocked gaze. "And- well, you might be…you know…."

"Might be what?"

He has got to be kidding me.

But I can't stop now. He's going to know whether he likes it or not. I'm like Miyako when it comes to guilt-trips. "_The father_. Congratulations, Taichi, you might be the father of my child."

There, I said it. I grab my water bottle and start swallowing huge mouthfuls of it, aware of how strangely dry my throat's become.

Hey, this isn't so bad. I feel so much better knowing I've finally told him the truth.

But he's just staring at me, expressionless. Five minutes pass (literally), and he hasn't even moved. I start to worry, despite my intentions to treat him horribly on account of his willing stupidity. Instead I eye him cautiously, biting my lip. He's as still as a statue with a face of stone. Deciding I should remain casual, I recap my water bottle and begin slicing up cucumbers for the salad entrées. I focus hard on the task, trying to forget him, forget the world, forget everything for just a few minutes. All that matters now is that these salads taste like perfection.

Then he leans back against the door, folding his arms over his chest resolutely and slouching.

"Might?"

I freeze, knife poised over the second half of the cucumber.

Of _all_ the words to pick up on, he chooses _that_ one? I swear, sometimes Taichi can just be the biggest jerk on the planet!

"I can't believe you!" I explode, slamming the knife down on the counter.

He glares at me. "Well, forgive me for being practical-,"

"Practical?" I repeat, astonished. "_Practical_? You want to be _practical_? How about trying to be _helpful_? How about trying to say something _encouraging_, or take _my_ side for once, or just think about how _I _must be feeling instead of worrying about what this will mean to you?"

"Mimi, I'm a _businessman_," he says. "I _have_ to think about what it will mean to me."

"This isn't a _business_, Taichi," I snap back. "This is a human life. This is your _child_."

"You said yourself it might not be!"

"_So_?"

His mouth drops open, appalled. "So you just want me to leap to your rescue even though it might not even be my responsibility? Do you not realize what you're asking of me?"

"I'm not _asking_ anything of you! I'm just informing you-,"

"What the hell makes you think I want to be informed about that?"

"_Because you're the father_!"

"_You said might! _Might_! That's a whole other scenario_!"

The café's gotten really quiet. I can practically hear the entire crowd leaning towards the kitchen door. But I really could care less. Instead, I glare at him. "What is your problem?" I ask finally. "Have I inconvenienced you or something? Should I have waited until next month to let you knock me up?"

He shoots me an evil look. "There never should have even been a chance for this to happen, and you know that. You were taking some kind of contraceptive, weren't you?"

I purse my lips, embarrassed but angry. "Not since a few months…."

He drops his arms to his sides. "You're _kidding_ me."

"Look, I just haven't seen my doctor in a while to get any prescriptions-,"

"This is crazy. This is just- I'm not falling for this."

As if denial could make it all go away. _Not gonna work, Tai; I've already tried it._

"You don't have to _fall_ for anything," I say, grabbing the knife again and waving it at him threateningly. "I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate by thinking of involving you _again_ in this situation. Just forget I ever said anything. I'm already starting to regret it…." Turning away, I dump the bowl of cucumber slices into a basin of freshly washed lettuce and start grading the carrots with more force than is necessary. He doesn't move, staring at me suspiciously, as though I'm hiding something else from him. So I snarl rudely, "You've made your point, all right? Just leave, Taichi!"

He turns on his heel and stomps out of the kitchen, the door banging wildly on the hinges when he shoves it open angrily.

I furiously begin to grate the carrot, but I can't see anything through my suddenly blurred vision. When the carrot stick breaks from the pressure I let out a cry and hurl it across the room, then sink to the ground and crouch behind the counter with my knees tucked under my chin, my arms wrapped around my legs.

Then the door swings open violently and he's standing in front of the counter, yelling.

"_Mimi! Mimi, where are you_?"

I don't know why he's shouting when we're not even two feet apart, but it only makes me cry harder.

He follows the muffled sobs and finds me in my pathetic hiding spot. With a loud sigh, he drops down beside me and sits so that his back is against the counter and he's facing me. The aisle is too narrow for the both of us, and he's clearly uncomfortable cramming his tall figure into such a small space, which only seems to add to his irritability.

"Look," he tries to start, but I'm not through with the tears. "Come on, will you stop crying already?"

I kick him.

"_Ow_! Hey!"

"I didn't ask for this either, you know!"

"I know, okay? I _know_!" He rubs his shin.

"I'll cry if I want to!"

"That's not going to help the situation-,"

"And yelling at me will?" I hiccup.

He presses his lips together angrily and doesn't reply. "Stop doing that," he says gruffly after a moment, noticing the way I scrub at my face. I refuse to look at or listen to him, and so I turn away and keep on violently wiping away the tears. He leans forward and touches his hand to my face, gently stroking my cheek. Then he scoots in towards me and holds my face in both hands, forcing me to look at him. It's only then that I see he's actually trying to be considerate, which, believe it or not, is something he _can_ be when duty calls for it. So I let him hold me, though I still nurse my grudges, and he knows that I am still resentful when I glare at him. He chooses to ignore it.

Instead he starts speaking, softly and in a huge rush, which is how he usually talks when he's still thinking of what to say in his head. "Mi, listen. I'm sorry I got upset. I was just- well, you know. But I'm not going to let this happen without- without trying to- I'm just- I want you to know I'm not going to walk away, okay? You- you matter to me, and I don't want to see you go through this alone- at least, not when- not when I could have- not when I might-,"

He stammers when he's upset or nervous. And I can feel that uncertainty in his touch. But it's when he gets like this that makes me realize why he means so much to me. As rude and mean and totally idiotic as he can be, every now and then he will prove to you what kind of man he really is.

I lean forward and kiss his cheek. "Okay," I interrupt softly, soothing him as best I can before he stutters his way into a faint, "It's okay."

"I should be telling you that…" he laughs quietly.

I smile at him kindly. "Just don't have a heart attack on me or anything."

"I'll be here. Don't doubt me, okay?"

"I won't," I whisper. "I never have."

This is why Sora's so suspicious of Taichi, and so disapproving of our relationship: she says I forgive him too easily. Maybe she's right. Maybe I _do_ trust him too much. And maybe one day I'll realize how wrong I am about him.

He's quiet. "Have you- have you told anyone else?"

"Just Sora, Hikari, Miyako…you know, the essentials. I guess I'll tell everyone else at Daisuke's party." I punch him lightly in the shoulder. "So you'd better be there, mister."

"You mean, you're going to tell them I might be the father?"

"Well, if they ask, I have to tell them the truth."

He nods distractedly. "Yeah…."

But there's something hidden in his voice that I don't like. I can feel my heart creping up to my throat. "Would you rather I didn't?" I ask honestly.

He doesn't answer.

The door swings open again. "Mimi! Mimi, I'm here!" Yamato calls, looking around wildly. He stumbles forward and peers over the counter to see me entwined in Taichi's arms. I can't exactly tell what passes over his face right then, but he hides it cleverly and steps back.

"Er- sorry, I didn't know-,"

"It's okay, Yamato. We were just talking," I say, trying to stand up. But Taichi tries to get up at the same time, and the space is so crowded that we only end up making things more uncomfortable for the both of us. I laugh weakly. "Um-,"

He takes me by the arm and we both stand up, our knees knocking together painfully. He steps forward on reflex to catch his ground, wincing as his legs finally untangle, and I can smell his musky cologne on his clothes. Maybe it's that reminiscent scent, or maybe it's the relief of knowing he knows, or maybe it's something else entirely, but I pull myself up on tip-toe and kiss him very lightly on the mouth.

"Thanks, Tai," I whisper, hoping he'll read between the lines to understand what I mean.

He squeezes my hand reassuringly.

Yamato coughs and we instantly jump apart.

"Sorry to interrupt," he says. "But we need to talk, Mimi."

"So do we," Taichi interrupts. "Mimi, let me take you to dinner-,"

"She's going with me, Tai," Yamato tells him.

"Who says?"

"She did!"

"Don't raise your voice, at me, Yamato."

"Why don't you have some consideration for Mimi? She's in no condition to just go out-,"

"What do _you_ know of her condition?"

"Because she's my responsibility!"

Taichi glares at him. "What the hell are you talking about? You two broke up."

Yamato glowers back. "That doesn't mean I'm going to drop her just because she's having our kid when we're not together-,"

"_What_?"

Crap.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5: Miyako

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

This morning, I was trying to rearrange the pots in the kitchen cabinets by size when I realized that by color would look much better, but then I discovered that wasn't very economically efficient, and I had to take everything out so I could put it all back where it was before Ken got up and found out what I'd done, but one of the pots got stuck around the edge of the door hinge and when I tried pulling it out, I only ended up wedging the pot even deeper into its snag until one final yank caused me to fly backwards in shock and the pot flew out of my hands and into the chandelier above the kitchen table. 

Ken leaped into the room, still bleary-eyed from sleep, his hair tousled, dressed in his pajamas, totally confused.

"What 'appened?" he demanded groggily, staring around the kitchen. Then he realized I was crying, and he was at my side in an instant. He took me in his arms protectively and shushed me. "Miyako, don't be upset, I'm here. Tell me what's wrong. Don't worry, it'll be okay, I'm here. Miyako-,"

But of course, all his consolation just made me cry harder, for how on earth could I have ever gotten lucky enough to find a guy like him?

"Tell me, Miyako, won't you tell me?" he asked again, wiping away my tears. Not that it helped any.

I blubbered something about not deserving him and how sorry I am that I can't be better and how hard I'm trying to change and how perfect I desperately want us to be and how-

"Okay, okay, one thing at a time," he jokingly interrupted, smiling.

"I b-b-broke it!" I wailed.

"We'll buy a new one," he said. "I've been meaning to have it changed, anyway. But now, I can do it with you. It'll be the first thing we buy as a couple living together," he added, as though to entice me. He looked at me hopefully, wondering if that would be enough to make the tears stop.

He looked so earnest and cute that I felt obligated to agree. That, and he did mention shopping when I was feeling depressed. I've got him trained so well. Mimi'd be proud.

I wince. I'm sitting at a booth in a restaurant at the mall, sipping a latte while Ken's at the next-door computer shop. Maybe thinking about us isn't the greatest thing to be gloating about right now. That is, I'm so lucky to have Ken, but poor Mimi's having such a difficult and rough time that I feel just a little guilty gushing about the perfect romance when her life's been turned into the exact opposite.

Sora had called me after Yamato left the apartment in search of his ex. Apparently he'd woken up from his bout of unconsciousness quite suddenly, raving, and would not be talked into calmly thinking things through before charging after Mimi. Sora had seemed very distressed when she called; she was worried he might upset Mimi in the state he was in, but I had reassured her that he wasn't the kind of guy to make a girl cry on purpose.

Nonetheless, I'd been worried, so I gave Mimi a call on her cell phone.

And to my stunned surprise, Yamato had answered.

"Miyako, can she call you back later?" He'd sounded a little stressed.

"But-?"

"Please?"

I could tell by the tone of his voice not to press matters any further, so I had reluctantly agreed and hung up.

I haven't heard from either of them since, and, apart from a sticky note in Mimi's handwriting on the door of the girls' apartments saying not to worry, neither has Hikari or Sora.

Problem is, it's been two days.

Where on earth could they be? I mean, Mimi's got a café to run and Yamato's a _rock star_, for crying out loud. Neither of them exactly have a chance or a right to just disappear. And it's not like either of them to think of doing something like this either.

It's really worrying me….

"Ready?" Ken asks, walking up to my booth and interrupting my thoughts.

I finish off my latte and nod. "Let's go."

We stroll through the mall, heading towards the appliance store where we would start looking for a new chandelier. It doesn't take long for us to find one we both like, but the sales agent starts to make things difficult for us by insisting on showing us around even more, despite our consistent emphasis on this gorgeous brass and gold-painted ceiling light. I can tell Ken's getting irritated by the way his forehead wrinkles and his mouth stretches into a thin line of disapproval. Then his eye twitches involuntarily, and I know he's going to blow. And considering it is _Ken_ we're talking about here, it takes a lot to tick him off.

I try interrupting the sales agent several times, hoping to avoid the titanic catastrophe, but finally, Ken turns to me and calmly suggests I give him a few moments with the agent. I know better than to argue, and instead I shoot myself into the lobby of the mall to wait for my boyfriend by the benches.

Across from the appliance store is a jewelry shop. Intrigued, I decided to browse, but when I reached the doors, I'm floored by the selection. I stand in front of the first counter, my mouth hanging open stupidly. I don't care if anyone sees me; these things are _gorgeous_!

Fascinated, I peer through the glass, inspecting each piece of jewelry, until one of the sales representatives comes over to ask if she can help me.

"Just looking," I mumble in reply.

She taps the glass. "You know, this diamond stud would look lovely with your complexion."

I feel very shy.

"You think so?"

"Oh, yes." As if to prove it, she unlocked the door behind the counter and pulls out the tray. She gently lifts the ring out o fits cushion. It's a solid gold band with a medium-sized diamond as the centerpiece, handcrafted and just to _die_ for.

"Would you like to try it?" she asks.

Numbly, I nod and hold out my hand as she slips it on my finger.

"Perfect fit," she admires happily.

"Isn't it, though?" I murmur, staring at it.

She smiles at me. "I'm sure your husband would like it, too."

"I'm not married," I blush.

"I thought I saw you with that handsome stranger when you went into the appliance store?"

"He's my boyfriend." I pause. "We're pretty serious. Just moved in together."

"Ah." She winks. "Well, then, I guess I'll keep an eye out for him."

"Why?" I start to get suspicious. She's not thinking of hitting on _my_ man is she? 'Cause if she is, she's got another-

"For this, sweetie." She takes my hand and points to the ring. Then she starts humming the wedding march.

I can feel my whole face lighting on fire.

"Oh, no, we haven't even talked about-,"

"But you want to," she teases.

"Well-,"

"And I bet he does," she goes on.

"Don't be ridiculous-,"

"Don't be blind, sweetie," she smiles. "Besides, you've got to hold on to that one. He looks like a keeper, and those are hard to come by these days."

"I know…" I stammer.

"Just be ready, girl," she says. "It's coming."

I stare at the ring.

_It's coming_.

Is it really?

I can hardly breathe at the thought of it. Marriage. I can't believe this…. Am I ready? Is anyone ever ready? How do you know when it's time? And with who? And I know that it's me, Miyako, and I've been planning my wedding since I was twelve, but now that I think about it-

I mean, it's all so different and new when you're so close.

Biting my lip, I pull the ring off and place it gently back on the cushion, thanking the sales representative as I start to walk out of the store, my mind heavy with new thoughts and worries. _Worries?_ _I'm not worried! This is everything I've ever wanted. This is- Ken is everything I've ever…._

I stop, staring through the doors of the jewelry store and into the appliance store.

_Isn't he?_

Then I blink, shocked, as a familiar voice sounds behind me.

"Twenty-carat, you say? Are you sure?"

The sales agents sounds extremely annoyed, tired, and exasperated, "Well, we do try and be sure of things like that, sir, for legal reasons, you know."

"Huh. Then you do have anything in a smaller size?"

"We do size rings, sir."

"Oh. Well, let me think about it some more."

"As you wish, sir."

I turn around in time to see the sales rep mop his forehead with a handkerchief, visibly exhausted by the indecisive nature of his customer. That only surprises me even more, because Motomiya Daisuke is the least indecisive person I know. But wait a minute- _Daisuke_? In a _jewelry_ store? Since when did he start making enough money to even be allowed in a place like this?

"Daisuke?" I call, astonished.

He literally jumps into the air in shock, spinning around so fast he trips over his feet and falls against the counter, almost knocking over several items.

"M-Miyako!" he stutters, breathless. "What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" I counter, walking over to him. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I- I'm on my lunch break," he says.

I narrow my eyes. "I thought Taichi won't let you leave the building during your lunch break after that Christmas office party two years ago."

He winces. "Yeah, well, he doesn't exactly know I'm gone…."

I cross my arms over my chest. "Daisuke, what are you up to?"

"Nothing!"

"_Daisuke_."

"Why do you always think I'm up to something? Is it so hard to believe I'm just being normal?"

"You don't even know how to be normal."

He shoots me a look.

"What are you hiding behind your back?" I demand.

"Nothing!" He squirms, betraying his lie immediately.

I reach for it. "Let me see-,"

"No! Miyako, don't-!"

"Why not? I just want to see. It's not like I'm going to take it or anything…."

"I know but it's- it's a secret! I surprise! You can't see!"

I sigh, irritated. "Seriously, Daisuke. Either tell me what's going on and let me ruin your life or let me learn the hard way and _then_ ruin your life."

He looks like he's in physical pain. "Miyako, don't, please…. Just leave it alone, I'm _begging_ you-,"

Despite how much I would love to make his life a never-ending misery, I then remember that he _is_ my boyfriend's best friend, so I decide to ease up on him this one time.

I step back and he sighs loudly in relief.

"Thank you," he mutters, distracted.

He tosses his dark, maroon-colored hair out of his eyes and chews thoughtfully on his lip, freeing one hand from behind his back to wipe his forehead. He's wearing a dark black suit with a tie, so I know he at least showed up to work for a while before skipping the rest of his shift, and though I'd never understand why, I think I see what Hikari sees in him. Or thinks she sees in him. I mean, he _is _sort of handsome, in a rugged kind of way, with a deep natural tan and large puppy-dog eyes, not to mention a very nicely toned body due to his obsession with all things football, but he's not my type. He's not much of Hikari's type either, but then, she never really had one to begin with.

I don't know what's going on between those two. It used to be that Daisukehad a thing forher, way back when, and they were great friends, but it turned out to be just an infatuation, and he moved on. But for some odd reason, lately, Hikari's been acting strange whenever someone mentions his name, or if she sees him. She sort of gets this wistful look on her face, like she's missing something….

Takeru and I worry about her. We think it has something to do with learning how to let go of the past and get over it, but for some reason, Hikari just won't move on the way Daisuke has. What really bugs me is that Daisuke is so boneheaded and stupid and oblivious to it _all_. Like the minute he decided he was over her, she was just wiped clean off his memory.

I glare at him now, remembering all this.

"You jerk."

"What?" he asks, confused.

I bite my tongue, knowing I can't say anything about the real reason he's such a jerk because then Hikari would certainly die from horror, after killing me herself. "Skipping work like that. You're so irresponsible," I say instead.

He shrugs lazily, relaxed.

"Taichi wouldn't even notice. He doesn't notice anything when he gets in one of his moods."

"What do you mean?" I ask, curious.

"You know, whenever Taichi falls into one of his deep, reflective moods and he just locks himself in his office all day without leaving for anything, just working non-stop until you have to pry him away from his desk physically. I tell ya, he's getting to be quite the workaholic." He sighs. "It's a pity."

"That's why you left?"

"Oh sure. We all do. Even Koushiro does, sometimes. Taichi doesn't notice anything when he's like that."

I frown. "That can't be very healthy."

"It's not like he's a very healthy person to start with," Daisuke grins. "I mean, he's either going to work himself to death or drink himself to death."

"That's not something to joke about," I scold sternly. "And Taichi doesn't drink as much as he used to. Hikari says he's getting much better."

"He only says that for his mother's sake," Daisuke dismisses the myth easily. "She's always calling him at the office and complaining about how he's going to end up sending himself straight to hell with the way he's living, and so he finally took up this 'clean lifestyle' ploy to get her off his back. He doesn't really stick to it."

"Does Hikari know?"

"I think she suspects, but Taichi's pretty good at hiding it. He only loses it rarely, like when he's upset about her."

"Who, Hikari?" I ask, surprised.

"No, stupid," he laughs. "Mimi."

My jaw drops to the floor. "_What_?"

"Mimi," Daisuke repeats obliviously. "He only gets drunk and cranky and moody because of her. Kind of scary to think how much power she has over someone like him and she doesn't even have the slightest clue. I mean, you should have seen him the night she and Yamato told us they were dating. He was totally _wasted_…."

My mind is suddenly blank.

"When she and Yamato started dating…? But that was-,"

"Four years ago, almost, I know. Haven't you noticed that was when he starting changing? It was because of her. Damn, he'd do anything for her and she doesn't even know- he's practically killing himself in his denial and pride and she doesn't even know…. Kind of funny, when you think about it…."

There's a long silence.

And then, his eyes bulge in horror.

"_Miyako_! Miyako- I didn't mean- don't you _dare_ tell anyone about that- Taichi'll _kill_ me if he finds out I- oh _shit_, Miyako _don't you dare say a single word_-!"

"Who, me?" I ask innocently.

"_Miyako_!" He looks ready to cry. "Miyako, I swear to _God_ I'll do _anything_, just don't tell him I told you! _He'll kill me_! He'll kill me and the dig me up and kill me again just for the _hell_ of it!"

"Daisuke-,"

"It's not like it's true!" he continues in a panic. "I mean, it was such a long time ago when he said that and he was so drunk he passed out right afterwards, so it was probably just the alcohol anyway!" He groans, "Oh, Goddammit, I'm so _dead_...! They're just- just friends with really nice benefits! And the last thing he'd want to do is ruin the friendship, but he doesn't understand the friendship either, so he's just having some problems knowing how to deal with it- with her- and with- with- with-!"

"With what?" I prompt finally.

"Nothing!"

I purse my lips and nod. "Fine then. I'm going to-,"

"_I swear to God, Miyako_-,"

"I'm not going to tell, Daisuke."

"Oh, good. Oh, Jesus, thank you, Miyako-," he collapses on the counter, sweating.

"If," I say, and he pales whiter than a sheet, "_if_…."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6: Sora

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

Three days after Yamato followed Mimi out of our apartment, they finally return. Or at least, Mimi does. She looks tired and worn, moving slowly around the flat and pointedly ignoring our questions. Instead, she goes straight to her room to take a shower, leaving Hikari and me speechless in the living room. 

I turn to stare at the youngest of our group. But Hikari seems to read my mind and shrugs, equally exasperated. She moves away to the kitchen where she begins fixing a cup of Mimi's favorite hot chocolate. I shake my head.

Only Mimi can do something like this. Only she can take off and disappear for days at a time, totally spontaneous, and return without an explanation, just as suddenly, expecting everything to be normal and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with living by her whims. And honestly, there _isn't_ anything wrong with that, some of the time. Even I- conservative little Sora- used to join her on all-night parties, random shopping sprees, trips to the beach at weird times of the day. But that was before I realized that people couldn't live like that _all_ the time. Responsibility requires that realization. Hopefully, Mimi will start to understand that too someday. Especially now. With the baby, she won't have the license to do what she pleases when she pleases.

That's why I'm so upset, I finally realize.

Mimi needs to understand the seriousness of the situation. She has understand she needs to be careful, aware…. She's gong to be a _mother_, for Pete's sake. Why won't she take better care of herself? She always needs someone going after her to remind her about the important things, and odds are that someone will usually end up being me. As always.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Mimi to death. But I can't always be there for her. She has to learn to live on her own, especially now that she has to raise a child.

Of course, I rant like this knowing that no matter what happens, I'll still be running after her. Nothing will change. And that's what frustrates and worries me most.

Finally, the shower turns off and a few minutes later, Mimi comes out of the bedroom, wearing a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her hair. She sits at the kitchen table, accepting the drink Hikari offers her. There's silence for a while, and then I can't stand it anymore and I dart to her side so she is forced to see how upset I am.

"Where have you been?" I demand. Hikari's trying to shoot me a warning look, something to remind me to keep myself in check, but I'm beyond that point now.

Mimi sighs. "Sora-,"

"No! No more excuses, Mimi! You had us all worried to death over here!"

"I told you not to worry. I left you a note-,"

"You think leaving a _note_ would actually solve everything?" I interrupt in disbelief. She looks at me, confused, as though it really should. I am nearly beside myself. "Mimi! We had no idea where you were; you never even bothered to call; I had no where to reach you if anything happened! You can't go running off like that!"

"Look, I'm sorry," she mutters, looking away. "I just haven't had any time-,"

"In seventy-two hours, you couldn't find _one minute_ to pick up the phone and call home?"

She bows her head even lower, not saying anything.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. "All right. All right, listen." I open my eyes again. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just really worried about you, and frustrated and upset and million other things. But, Mimi, you have to understand that you are in no condition to pull off something like this and expect everything to end up okay. You're living for two, now. _Two_, Mimi. You've got be more responsible."

She still doesn't reply.

I sigh again. "Come on, say _something_."

She is very still for a long time, before getting up and leaving her cocoa unfinished on the table. "I'm tired. Can't we continue this tomorrow?" she asks, already heading for her bedroom without an answer.

Hikari pats her hand sympathetically as she leaves and tells her not to worry, making her promise to get a good rest that night. As soon as Mimi's gone and her door's closed, she turns to me and gives a rather cold scowl, something very uncharacteristic of her.

"What?" I say, surprised by her attitude.

"Is there something you want to say to explain yourself, Sora?" she demands quietly.

"Explain myself?" I repeat, unable to believe my ears. "Hikari, Mimi's the one who should be doing the explaining-,"

"This isn't about Mimi," she interrupts firmly. "And neither was what happened just now. You were not that upset with her and there was no need to be that way towards her. Now, tell me what's going on."

I turn away, dumping the hot chocolate in the sink.

"Nothing."

Hikari doesn't answer, but when I turn around, she's still looking at me to explain, with her arms crossed over her chest as she waits. I sigh loudly.

"You're going to hate me for it," I mumble.

"Just tell me," she says.

"It's not fair."

"What isn't?" She drops her hands and steps closer.

"I don't know. I just- doesn't it seem to you that everything's happening to her and she doesn't even appreciate it at all?" I look at her, waiting for a response, but Hikari doesn't do anything. I shake my head. "I know; I'm awful for being jealous of my own best friend, and that that probably makes me the worst best friend in the history of best friends, and that I have no right to be this selfish when she needs me to be as selfless as I can, but I can't help but realize- it's not fair. I mean, I would…I would love to have- to have someone love to have me, but all I do is aim and miss over and over, and she barely has to do anything."

When she still doesn't reply, I lean against the kitchen counter and smile wryly. "Pathetic, aren't I?"

She smiles back kindly, honestly.

"No. No, you're not, Sora. Far from it. You just want what every person in the world wants. There's nothing wrong with that."

"But I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be the jealous best friend. I want to be the loving best friend, the one who understands and is helpful and encouraging, but all I seem to be able to do is make her more upset. I don't know what to do."

Hikari comes over to put an arm around my shoulders. "Tell her. She'll understand."

"I couldn't-,"

"Sora, if you keep this inside, it will only get worse. You've got to tell her how you feel. And maybe- maybe it won't work out and she won't understand right away, but then, that would give both of you time to cool off and then things will be better for it."

I look at her. "You think so?"

"Yes, I do." She gives me a quick hug, and then hurries to the door, picking up her coat from the closet. "You'll see; it'll work out fine in the end."

"Where are you going?" I ask, watching her search for her purse.

"I have to do some shopping. Daisuke's birthday party is next weekend, and I promised Miyako I'd shop with her today."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" I stand up straight. "I have to get him something, too."

"Is there anything you have in mind?" she asks, pausing at the door. "I could buy it for you."

"It's okay. I'll get something later, with Mimi."

She smiles, understanding. "All right. I'll pick up dinner on the way back, okay?"

"That'll be great, Hikari. Thank you."

She knows what I mean and only smiles in response, waving goodbye.

But Mimi doesn't get up later, and instead sleeps right through dinner and through the night without waking once. Hikari decides it is best not to disturb her until she's ready. Remembering that I still have to get Daisuke's present, I ask Hikari if she can stay at the apartment with her after she comes back from school while I go out for a few hours. She obliges gladly, and that afternoon, we switch shifts and I leave for downtown.

I really hate going downtown alone. I don't know why. But I haven't got any other choice this time, so I make my way through the crowd, window shopping.

I have absolutely no idea what Daisuke would want. In the past, I joined up with Mimi to buy a present from the both of us. She was always better at the shopping thing. But again, there isn't any choice this time. I don't even know if she's going to come. After disappearing for three days and then lying in bed for two more days, I don't know what she's planning on doing next. Of course, no one will mind or hold anything against her if she doesn't show. It's hard to keep a grudge against someone like Mimi.

I sigh, stopping at the corner of a busy street. It has started raining, and I pull out my small umbrella, holding it close to my head to keep me dry. I keep walking, browsing, when I start to feel hungry. My watch informs me that it is nearing dinnertime. I can't believe I've wasted so many hours without buying one thing, and, frustrated, I decide to go get something small to eat to boost my shopping skills.

Suddenly, I remember Mimi's café. I had started visiting it after work just to check up on it and Mimi since we found out she was pregnant, just to see if she needed any extra help. She'd been fine, though, and I should have known she would be. But now, I realize that she hasn't shown up to work in almost a week. And I've been too distracted to drop by.

Swearing, I race down the street and turn the corner. Her face is almost at the heart of the downtown sector, a perfect location for a small business. I can see people moving around inside, the glass windows spotlessly clean. I quickly cross the street and open the door, hearing the small chimes that ring when the door is moved. The café is full of people, shoppers who have probably taken shelter from the pouring rain. The waiters are moving around, visiting each customer; music plays softly from the speakers along the walls; people seem happy.

I close my umbrella and head for the kitchen.

Huan is inside, giving orders and keeping the waiters and other cooks under close inspection as they report to him every time they pass through the kitchen doors. Smiling, I go up to him.

"Good evening, Mr. Head Chef," I say with a laugh.

He grins at me. "You came to check up on us, didn't you?"

"And apologize for Mimi's absence-,"

But he waves my words away. "Don't worry about it," he says. "Miss Mimi has her own life to live. We know that. It doesn't matter. We'll keep things running until she gets back."

"You all really love her, don't you?" I say with a smile.

"She's our baby girl," Huan replies, turning away to bark order at one of his assistant chefs. Then he turns back to me. "Is there anything I can get for you, Miss Sora?"

"A latte would be great."

"I'll even throw in complementary strawberry pastries," he promises, before shooing me back into the sitting area.

I'm about to let the head waiter seat me at one of the tables when I spot a familiar brown-haired bush poking out from one of the booths. I head towards it, smirking as I seat myself across from an old friend.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

Taichi barely even glances at me. "Same thing you are." He lifts his coffee mug to his lips and takes a sip.

I frown. "You okay?"

He leans back in the booth, slouching.

"You know, I'm really getting tired of hearing people ask me that."

"They're just be considerate, Taichi."

"It's not their business."

I try not to glare at him. The last thing I want now is to get in argument with him again. It seems like that's all we ever do. Of course, it didn't used to be like this. I remember in college, we were actually friends in the real sense of the word. But then, everything seemed different back then. Even I was different. We all were. I don't know why or when we started changing.

A waitress arrives to give me my latte and pastries. I offer one to him, but he doesn't take it. Reminding myself that it's important to be civil in public, I leave one for him anyway.

"Is she here?" he asks after a moment.

"Is who where?" I take a bite of one pastry.

"Mimi. Is she in the kitchen?"

I shake my head. "She's locked herself in her room, actually, since she came back."

"She hasn't said anything?"

"Not to me."

I notice the way he slouches even lower in his seat, staring through the foggy glass and into the rain. I put my cup down. "Why?"

He shrugs. "Just wondering."

I narrow my eyes.

"You know where she was, don't you? Where she and Yamato were those three days?"

He doesn't answer.

I straighten, shocked. "You _do_ know! Well?"

"Well, what?" he mutters back.

"Where was she, Tai? What happened?"

"It's her business, Sora. Ask her yourself."

"I tried. She won't talk to me. She won't talk to anyone-,"

He looks up sharply. "What do you mean she won't talk?"

"Haven't you been listening? I said she's been in her room since she came. She hasn't come out once. I don't know what's going on. But if _you_ do, Taichi-,"

"It's about the baby."

I stop, staring. And then it hits me.

"Wait- you know about-?"

"She told me."

"When?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm just telling you that she's probably upset about the baby."

"But we've gotten past that stage-,"

"This is different, Sora."

I sit back, frowning. Then my eyes go wide. "You mean, she knows who the fa-?"

He sinks even lower in the booth, sipping his coffee again.

I gape at him.

"You _know_?" When he doesn't respond, I sit up straight again. "You _know_!"

"Yamato called me," he replies easily, calmly, whereas I am about to go out of mind.

"_Well_?"

"It's her decision to tell, Sora. Not mine. Ask her."

"I already told you-,"

"Ask her," he repeats firmly. I'm suddenly reminded of Hikari. It's so odd to see how alike they can sometimes act, especially when it comes to their stubbornness.

I grit my teeth and sit back once more.

"Fine," I say. "We'll talk about something else."

"Let's talk about something else."

I pause. "So Yamato must be back, too. Where has he gone-?"

"Sora!" he groans, shutting his eyes.

"It's something else," I defend.

"Fine," he snaps. "Let's talk about Yamato. I hear his last album was attacked by the critics. Isn't that a shame?"

I stare at him. That was pretty vicious. Before I can say anything, he continues,

"But don't worry , Sora. He'll be back on his feet in no time. Nothing ever gets him down. See, that's why we can always count on him. He was there for Mimi, wasn't he? He was with her at the doctor's when she was too scared to go alone. I wouldn't be surprised if he's out somewhere right now calling up baby stores or looking for pediatricians or finding the perfect preschool, even though _no one_- not even _Mimi_- asked him to do _anything_-,"

"Taichi-," I try to interrupt, but someone interrupts me.

"Miss Sora?" The waitress is back, and she's looking anxious.

I blink, still in shock. Taichi isn't moving. I don't even think he's breathing. He stares at me, his eyes wide, probably just realizing what he's done, his hand frozen around his coffee mug.

"Yes?" I manage to say.

"Huan wants to see you in the kitchen."

I glance over at the kitchen doors and notice that Huan has the door open looking at me earnestly, motioning for me to come. I stand up, surprised to feel how weak my legs are. But I try to focus. I leave Taichi at the booth without a word, following the waitress to the kitchen. Stepping inside, I'm about to ask what's going on when I suddenly spot the reason right next to the kitchen doors, sitting in a plastic chair, an apron tied around her waist, ready to work, but crying too hard to even get up.

I'm by her side before I can even think to move.

"Mimi," I pull her down into my arms. She slips easily off the chair, holding me tight. "Mimi, what's wrong? Sweetheart, tell me, I'm here-,"

I look at Huan, who's standing nearby. He only shrugs. "She must have come through the back. I almost didn't notice her."

I pull her close. "It's okay. It's going to be okay, Mimi."

"I-I'm sorry," she stammers through her tears. "I'm r-really s-s-sorry, Sora-,"

"It's not your fault-,"

"C-Can't you t-tell him how s-sorry I am?"

"Who?" I ask, pushing her back so I can look at her face. But she lowers her head as though she's too ashamed to look at me. "Mimi, who?"

"I d-didn't know it w-would end up like this! I n-n-never thought it w-would happen l-l-like this!"

"What happened, Mimi?"

But she just shook her head, crying.

"Mimi-,"

"I didn't know it would happen! I d-didn't know!" She buries her face in my shoulder, waiting until the sobs diminish to whimpers before continuing. "He was wonderful, Sora," she whispers. "He was there when I needed him and he got me through the hardest part. I was so upset- but he knew exactly how to make me happy and- he knew what to do- and he took me away and we talked and- and it felt so wonderful…."

I can't think of anything to say.

"That night- I don't know, I just- we let it get too far-,"

I shut my eyes.

"And the morning after, he asked if couldn't we - if maybe, even though I- even after what the doctor said- if maybe, he could- if he could stay with me, if we could stay together-," she gasped, "-and I didn't know what to do. I was too much in shock to really- to say anything back- and I've let this all get out of hand and nothing makes any sense anymore…. I care about Yamato so much, and I can't stand to hurt him, and he's always there for me- Sora, I don't know what to do-,"

Finally, my voice comes back. "Mimi," I make her meet my gaze, "listen to me. I'm going to tell you exactly what to do, all right? But you've got to trust me. Do you trust me?"

She nods, sincerity shining through her tear-glazed eyes.

"You are going back home to Hikari. You are going to cry yourself out until there're no more tears left, and then you're going to eat something warm and get some color back to your face. And then we'll talk. You and me, all night if we have to, but I promise you I will not let you down. I'm going to help you, all right?"

She nods again. I hug her tight. "Good," I whisper.

Huan takes over comforting her while I go back into the sitting area to use the phone to call a cab so Mimi can get home. I have no idea how she even got out of the apartment, but I should probably call Hikari to let her know what happened. Determined and resolute, I step through the doors and feel my confidence whither to pieces.

Taichi's standing there, not more than two feet away from the door. And by the look on his face I know he heard the whole thing.

Before I can open my mouth, he turns on his heels and walks out of the café. Forgetting my umbrella, I run after him, wincing when the ice-cold rain meets my face. It only takes a few moments for me to get completely soaked, and I shudder from the freezing water, wrapping my arms tight around me. I try to catch up with him, chasing him down the sidewalk and shouting his name. Finally, I manage to reach out and grab his elbow, yanking him back and forcing him to stop.

"Taichi! Will you just listen to me?"

"Why?" he shouts back over the storm. "I think I've heard enough-,"

"What you heard was wrong!"

"No, it wasn't, Sora! For the first time, I'm hearing everything exactly how I should have heard it years ago!"

I squint through the rain, pushing my wet hair out of my face. "Taichi, please, don't be like this-,"

"Then how would you have me be?" he demands angrily. "What do you want me to say? How do you want me to act?"

"How about trying to be mature about it?" I snap back at him, just as angry. "No one gets everything they want, Taichi, not even rich boys like you! That's not how the world works! You've just got to deal with what you have, what you get, and make the most of it!"

But he's shaking his head.

"You don't understand-,"

"Don't understand? You think _I_ don't understand?" I laugh bitterly. "Then you must not remember the year Mimi transferred to our college. Remember? We were in our third year. Yamato was supposed to be studying aerospace engineering, like his scholarship said. But one night- and it was raining just like this- we had to get out of the storm and we stopped at this little café. And they had a stage, with a microphone and a musician and poets, just like in the television shows. And Mimi told Yamato to come and sing with her. And he did. So don't you dare tell _me_, Yagami Taichi, what I don't _understand_."

Taichi is staring at me, silent. He glances down at the sidewalk. "Sorry. I- I forgot."

I wipe my face, frustrated.

"Forget it," I start to turn away, but he suddenly grabs my wrist to keep me from leaving.

"You don't deserve that, Sora. You really don't. I hope you know that."

I don't say anything, staring at the ground. I'm trying hard not to drown back in those memories, trying hard to stay focused on what matters now. But the pictures are getting blurry and I can feel my throat closing up, and now it's hard to breathe. I gasp deeply, biting my lip, determined not to be stupid and cry. Why should I cry? That was so long ago anyway...

"Being the one outside in the rain," Taichi continues in a whisper. "You don't deserve that."

"Let it go, Taichi," I beg him quietly.

"There's more than this waiting for you, I know-,"

"There's more for you, too," I interrupt.

He's quiet. "Nothing's waiting for me."

I turn, staring back at him in surprise.

"That's not true."

He smiles through the rain, looking tired and hurt. He doesn't reply, probably disagreeing with me but being nice enough not to say it aloud. I sigh.

"Maybe it didn't happen the way you wanted it to, but that doesn't mean this is the end, Taichi."

He shakes his head.

"I mean it," I insist.

He shrugs, wiping the rain form his face.

I shiver from the cold.

"Come back inside, please?" I ask.

"Sora-,"

"Just talk to her-,"

"No."

He says it so surely, I'm too startled to protest right away.

"You have to," I say.

"_No_," he repeats firmly, the smile gone from his eyes. His fists are clenched in defiance and he shakes his head firmly.

"Taichi, you have to stop denying all of this! You can't not tell her how you feel about this-,"

"I don't feel anything-,"

"That's not true," I interrupt harshly, growing angry again.

"Don't pretend you understand me, Sora."

"Will you stop being like this?"

"Don't act like you know me, because you don't anymore-,"

"You're being a coward!"

He snaps. "And you aren't? You never once told Yamato how you felt! What does that make you?"

My mouth drops open. "How _dare_ you! That's none of your business!"

"Admit it! Admit it, Sora, you were too scared! You're still too scared, and you're too stubborn to take your own advice-,"

"That is _none_ of your business," I repeat louder, shaking.

"But it's the truth," he adds lowly.

I stare at him, speechless. Trembling, I give him my coldest glare.

"You really are a coward," I whisper before turning around.

He calls after me, "Sora!"

"Don't you dare start!"I yell back.

"Sora, wait, I didn't mean-,"

"Don't you _dare_ start with me!"

"Sora," he says, his voice strange. Out of tired, simmering anger, I finally whirl around, determined to end this now before I decide to despise him any more. But the look on his face stops me. He's staring at me strangely, almost sadly, if it were possible. I'm caught completely off my guard, unsure of what he's thinking after the argument we just had. I stareat him, doubtful and resentful and secretly horrified with myself for spilling out dark secrets to him like that. Through the pounding rain, I can only barely decipher his expression. "I didn't mean it."

"You said it, Taichi," I say after a long, long moment. "You said it, that's enough. I get it now. You don't have to say anything else. I don't care-,"

"I didn't mean it," he repeats.

I shake my head.

"Please, Sora," he begins again, stepping closer to me. "You're going to have to forgive me."

"Just forget it, Tai-,"

"No," he shook his head. "I mean, you'll have to forgive me for this." And then, he tugs my hand and I stumble unexpectedly into his arms, falling into his gentle kiss.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7: Hikari

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

About an hour or so after Sora left for her shopping, the doorbell rang. Curious, I set down the magazine I'd been reading (one of the celebrity gossip ones that Miyako left behind) and lazily make my way around the furniture and towards the hall of the apartment. Lifting myself on tiptoe, I peek through the door hole, thinking it must be Yamato come back from wherever he went to talk to Mimi. That's the only thing that seems logical to me, seeing as how Mimi won't say a word and he apparently hasn't either. Even Jyou, the one other person Yamato confides in besides Mimi, Takeru, or Taichi, hasn't spoken to him in a while. But then, Jyou's pretty hard to reach anyway.

But instead of being dazzled by cerulean blue, I'm lost in a sea of mahogany brown.

My stomach disappears and I fling myself around, ducking away from the peephole though I know he won't be able to see me from the other side. _What is _he_ doing here?_ Panicked, I look around wildly, hoping someone else is around to answer the door instead, only to remember that I'm the only one there. Besides Mimi. And I'd be cruel to make her get out of bed.

Groaning, I shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hey, Hikari," he smiles at me cheerily.

I make a weak attempt of a greeting in return.

"Do you think we could talk?"

"Sure," I croak, cough, and repeat again in a stronger tone. I scold myself silently, trying to be more confident and wondering how I ever got to be this way over some man.

Daisuke steps into the apartment, leaving behind a trail of his distinctive, seductive cologne. It's this new scent he's been favoring lately, I've noticed, though the fact that he's even wearing cologne surprises me, because he never used to before. Not that I mind.

He walks into the living room, coming to a contemplative rest by the sofa. Then he turns, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"We're pretty good friends, aren't we, Hikari?" he asks almost anxiously.

"Of course," I say.

"And we help each other out. Right?"

"Daisuke, if you need help with something, you can ask me right out. I'll be glad to help you."

He grins. "I know. I just want to make sure- well, I just don't want things to change."

My smile falters. "What do you mean?"

He shrugs, toeing the rug sheepishly.

"Nothing, really. I just… You know how I hate change and stuff. And lately- I don't know, I've been getting these sort of funny vibes from you and it's sort of- worrying me. It makes me feel…different. And, I don't know…I don't like it."

A lump grows in my throat. "What are you talking about?"

"It's just- I was thinking about how we haven't talked in a long time," he admits finally, "and I was sort of wondering why. I mean, we used to never have to worry about things like that before. We were great before. But lately it's like we're drifting apart. I hardly even see you anymore." He grimaces. "Even _Takeru_ sees you more than me. I don't like that."

I sit down on the armchair, trying to catch my breath.

"Well, we've both been busy."

"That shouldn't be an excuse," he says softly. Then he smiles again. "So I was wondering if you- if you'd want to go out with me some time."

I stare at him.

"_What_?"

The color rushes into his face and he burns a bright red. "I mean- wait, I didn't mean it like that- I just- I'm not trying to- I- I just meant for fun- like friends, just friends."

I haven't quite regained the feeling in my legs, but now my mind is going numb too and I can only stare at him even more.

"Is- Is that okay?" he stammers, looking worried.

I blink.

"Of course."

He looks relieved.

"Really?"

I only nod.

"Great." He sighs. "_Great_. Um…. Do you want to go now?"

I distantly hear myself responding, "Actually, Mimi's not feeling very well, and I'm staying home with her today."

"Oh, no," he frowns. "Is she sick?"

"It's not too serious."

"Oh. Is there anything I can do?"

"She'll be fine."

"You look kinda funny, Kari. You sure _you're_ not the one who isn't feeling well?"

I hear myself laugh. "I'm fine."

I don't remember really what happens after that. Everything seems so fuzzy. All I see is Daisuke, standing, growing farther and farther away with every word he speaks, and all I can hear is me, talking and laughing like nothing's wrong. Then some words about Miyako and Ken. Another conversation about Iori at Kyoto. And then Daisuke's work life. And then his birthday party. Do I have time to go see a show with him that afternoon before the party? No, but I can the day after. Of course. It's a Sunday, remember, teachers don't work on Sundays. I'd love to see a show with you. I'd love to.

And then the doorbell rings again.

Snapping out of my dreamlike state, I glance at the door blankly. Daisuke raises an eyebrow.

"Should I get that?" he asks after a moment.

Blushing, I jump to my feet and answer to the door.

"_Mimi_?"

She rubs at her tear-stained face and pushes past me. But Sora, who's come with her, grabs her by the wrist, hauling her back. Mimi tries to struggle, fighting, but finally gives in, too much in tears to fight anymore. Sora wraps her in a tight embrace, holding her close, not caring that she's soaked to the bone and even paler than Mimi. Before Daisuke or I can say or do anything, Yamato enters the apartment, breathless, and his blue eyes fall on Mimi first. Then I see his gaze pass over Sora, but she refuses to look at him. Instead, she takes Mimi by the hand and pulls her to her bedroom, whispering comforting words into her ear.

Daisuke's jaw practically touches the floor.

"Wait- I thought- what's going- is Mimi-?"

"I think you'd better go," I interrupt after a moment, recognizing the look on Yamato's grim face as one that strongly resembles Takeru's expression when he's about to lose his temper and threaten to homicide. It was never a pleasant time to be around Takeru then, and I know it won't with Yamato either. And I have a lurking suspicion this has something to do with the baby.

So I usher him out the door, though he manages to make me promise to call him later when things cool down. Locking the door after he leaves, I turn around and stare hard at Yamato, who hasn't moved even a little bit since he came in.

"Where have you been?" I ask after a moment.

He barely even glances at me.

"Tell Sora I want to talk to her."

His voice sounds foreign, his tone so strange and distant. Alarmed, I agree at once and hurry to Mimi's room. She's lying down on her bed, her face buried in her pink, fluffy pillows, and Sora's bending over her, stroking her hair calmly with motherly attention. Sora looks up when she sees me, and I point into the living room and mouth Yamato's name.

Sora visibly stiffens, wincing.

Then she kisses the top of Mimi's head, promising to come back, and leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. No one's told me what to do, and Mimi is quiet. I am too afraid to call her name and ask her what's wrong, and so I just stand there, my fists clenched to the side, and stare at her still, curled form on the bed.

And I listen to Yamato's voice through the doorway. It's muffled, blocked by the walls of Mimi's bedroom, and I instinctively move towards the door to hear them better.

"-hell you were thinking?"

"It's none of your business-,"

"In public? In public, Sora? You'd do that in public? What if Mimi had-?"

"It's not her business either! And I don't know why you're so angry."

"Don't make this about me, Sora-,"

"Then who's it about? Taichi?"

My eyes widen and I hold my breath.

"Stop it."

"It meant nothing anyway-,"

"It didn't look like it meant nothing. On the contrary, it looked-,"

"What did it look like, Yamato? Tell me, what?"

"Look- just don't tell Mimi-,"

"What?"

"You heard me! She's not going to know about this!"

"Why should she care?"

"Just don't tell her, Sora!"

There are more murmurs as her voice drops, and he matches it. Then, suddenly, her voice rises. "You're not afraid, are you, Yamato?"

"Shut up-,"

"Wait- you are? About Taichi?"

"Sora, knock it off!"

"About what might happen now? Are you afraid you might get replaced, Yamato? Is that it?"

"_I'm_ the one who's going to take care of the baby, Mimi said so. And _I'm_ the one who takes care of her-,"

"So? _He's_ the father."

I press my hand over my mouth, feeling faint. Sinking to the ground, I have to bit the insides of my mouth to keep from making any noise, though I' too in shock to do anything. Taichi…Taichi's it, then? He really is? But how did they find-?

That must have been where Mimi had disappeared to! The doctor's- someplace to find out the truth.

But why take three days? Had she been that shocked, that upset to know the truth?

I stare at her now, as though I'm seeing her for the first time.

My brother's…. _Oh my God._

Everything else is a blur. I try to focus, but I can't hear any more of their fuzzy words, and I shake my head, shutting my eyes. When I open them again, Sora's approaching the bedroom and Yamato's gone, apparently leaving the apartment with mixed emotions and a quiet request for someone to tell Mimi to call him in the morning. I jump to my feet and step back, and Sora doesn't suspect anything. She brushes past me like I'm not there, focused entirely on Mimi. She touches a hand to her shoulder, and Mimi stirs, rolling over on her back.

They look at each other for a moment, and then Mimi sighs. "Sora, I should have told you as soon as I-,"

"It doesn't matter," Sora interrupts easily, gently. "Let's forget the past right now. The future's what matters now. Okay?"

After a slight hesitation, Mimi nods, chewing her bottom lip.

I leave them, returning to my room, and for a while I just sit on my bed, stunned. My first instinct is to call Taichi, but I hesitate, unsure. Shaking my head, I tell myself that my loyalty as a sister comes first and foremost, and I shut my bedroom door and pick up my cell phone.

He answers on the fourth ring, his voice low and controlled.

"Taichi," I start to say, but the words are caught in my throat and I stop.

He's silent.

I take a deep breath. "Taichi, I- I don't know what to say-,"

"I'm kind of busy right now, Hikari. Can this wait?"

I blink, surprised.

"What?"

"I've a meeting to go to in a few minutes-,"

"But it's evening!"

"It's an overseas appointment. The time's set for London."

I frown into the phone. "But Taichi, we have to talk. You can't just- I can't find out something like this and then have you tell me not to talk."

"We will. But I can't right now."

I grit my teeth.

"Is your work the only thing that matters to you right now? Can you tell me that, especially _now_?"

He's quiet for a moment, and then I hear him laugh a little. "I'm not the one that matters to her right now. Why should I care?"

"You don't mean that."

He's silent.

"You don't mean that, and you know it."

"…I know." It's so soft, I almost don't catch it. But it knocks the air out of my chest, and I can feel the corners of my eyes prickling.

"Taichi- Taichi, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." He pauses, and then laughs again. "I don't know. Oh God- I don't know what's happening anymore. This is all- this wasn't supposed to- Kari- Kari, what the hell am I going to do? I can't be a father- I don't know the first thing about kids- I don't – I cant handle that kind of responsibility- I don't want it- I never wanted this, not now, especially not now- everything was going so well and now I- now I can't even think straight- I must be going insane-,"

"Tai, Tai- listen to me," I try to calm him down, but he won't stop.

"I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready- I can't do this- I don't want to do this- I don't want this- I do need this now- I just- Kari, I'm _scared_-,"

I stop, eyes wide.

"_I'm scared_."

And then he takes a deep breath. "I have to go. They're paging me." And he hangs up.

I still hold the phone against my ear, staring at the wall across from me. And I finally understand why I'm not enough to be there for him. I understand why he keeps it all inside, why he won't lean on anyone else. Why it's so hard for him to break away from the comforting consistencies of his work.

Mimi's got all of us, and Yamato won't leave her side for one minute. I've got my friends. Sora and the others, whatever they're going through, they've got people to tell them it's okay, someone to come home to or call early in the morning or just sit in silence with when it all becomes too much.

But Taichi doesn't.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8: Mimi

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

That night after the doctor's, after Yamato helped me with dealing with it, that night, nothing happened. I let our conversations get carried away; I let myself get carried away, and the next thing I knew, I woke up in his arms on the couch of the hotel we were staying in, my face stiff from the dried tears, and I thought something happened. But nothing did; Yamato made sure nothing did because he didn't want me to deal with the news like that. He knew I would try to, and I probably must have, but I barely remember anything. Just him. And how wonderful he was. I don't know how I ever thought I deserved him. But now- 

Why did he ask me to do that? Why did he? And why did I let him?

Even after hours of talking with Sora, I'm still confused. She's asleep now, in my room with me because she thought I would need the extra comfort. Hikari's asleep as well, but I'm just lying on my bed right now, trying to sort through the mess that's become my life in just the past month. More than a month. How long has it been now? Six weeks? Seven?

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

How did I let things end up like this? And how did I even want them to end up like?

I roll over on my stomach, staring at the digital clock on the table by my bed. 3:22 AM. What on earth am I doing up this late? I feel so tied, so worn out. But I can't go to sleep.

Picking up my cell phone, I scroll through the names until I come to his. Returning to lying on my back, I stare at his name, but my fingers are frozen. What would I even say? Yamato was the one who called him last time, and he never told me what the reaction was. I frown, remembering that. Why didn't he tell me what Taichi said? Was it that bad? Was he angry? I wince, biting my lip. Probably. I know for sure this was never what Taichi wanted. And it's definitely not what a man like him needs. But Yamato doesn't deserve it either; his life is just as hectic. Why would he readily volunteer to make it even worse for himself?

_Because he cares about you, stupid_.

I sigh, too tired to argue with myself. _I know._

_And?_

_And I care about him, too, but-_

_But, nothing. Why are you still thinking about this? Yamato's everything you need! No questions asked! It's the best decision for all those involved, and all of you know it._

"It's for the best."

I used to hate it when my mother said things like that to me.

Although, if this really works out, it actually _would_ be for the best. I can't do it alone; Taichi won't have the time; Yamato's always been there for me. That's what Sora pointed out to me last night when we were talking, and I know she's right. It's true. It really would be for the best….

So if I say yes to Yamato, if I go back into a relationship with him, it would be what everyone wants. Right?

I frown at my cell phone again.

I should call him. I really should.

But I don't.

Instead, I turn the phone off and fall into a fitful doze, always pressured by a strong sense of dread, of coming misfortune that I can't avoid and that will ruin everything I hold dear. I normally don't believe in visions or foretelling or even omens the way my mother and Miyako do, but this nightmarish dream scares me enough into coming close. So I get out of bed early, stepping around Sora who's curled under bed sheets on the floor beside me, and go into the kitchen.

The clock says it's 7:00 AM now. Hikari's door is open, and her shoes and purse are gone. She must have gotten up even earlier than I did, which is expected anyway. But what I don't expect is Yamato, who's sitting with his head down on the kitchen counter, sleeping.

I freeze, staring at him. What's he doing here? When did he even get here?

Looking around, I see his shoes by the door and some store-bought breakfast food sitting opened and partially eaten on the table. I relax. Hikari must have let him when she left. But why is he here so early?

Stepping closer to him, I gently tap his shoulder. He starts awake, and I step back again, concerned. He sees me and the color drains from his face for a minute, as though he's scared or confused or keeping a secret too heavy to bear, but then the red rushes into his cheeks and he flinches.

"Sorry, you scared me," he explains, relaxing now.

"What are you doing here?" I ask softly, remembering to keep my voice low so not to disturb Sora.

He looks away. "Checking to make sure you're still here."

I can't help but smile at his silliness.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," he whispers finally. After a moment, he forces himself to meet my gaze, and I stare back at him, studying his reserved expression. I hate how he can do that, how he can hide all his feelings behind a mask. Sometimes he's easy to read, and some people- like Takeru or Taichi- can read him really well all the time. But he still fools me. Like now. There's something unfamiliar in his blue eyes that I don't understand. I frown, curious.

"Are you okay?"

He smiles automatically.

"Sure. Why are you up so early?"

I shrug.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Is something bothering you?" He looks worried, glancing down at my stomach before meeting my gaze again. I instinctively touch a hand to my belly.

"Not physically, no," I say with a smile. "I've just been thinking."

"About what?"

"About-," I stop. I want to say "about us," but then I remember there is no "us." I mean, I know we talked about him having the chance to be near me again, being able to take care of me because he says that's all he wants o do- just be there to help and support me all the way, no matter what the cost. But now that I think about it, I don't know if that's what I want. Having a child is one thing; throwing myself back into a full blown relationship is another. I don't know if I can handle both of them at the same time. That was one thing I tried telling Sora when we talked, but she said it would be better for me if I had someone to help me deal with the baby. But isn't that what she and Hikari and Miyako are here for? Do I really want to go back into a serious relationship?

"Taichi," I finally finish.

"Oh."

He's silent. I bite my lip. "Has- Has Taichi…have you talked to him yet?"

"Of course. I told him as soon as we found out."

"Oh." I nod distractedly.

His gaze hardens. "Why?"

"Nothing-,"

"He hasn't called you yet?"

When I don't answer, Yamato's mouth presses into a thin line of disapproval and he glowers. "That jerk."

"He's just probably busy-,"

"Don't you dare defend him, Mimi. He's acting like a bastard and you know it." His voice is venomous, and I'm a little surprised and alarmed. I frown at him, but he ignores me. He shakes his head. "I can't believe he would do this."

"I don't mind…." I try to say meekly.

He glances at me sharply. "Why do you do that?" he snaps after a tension-filled moment.

I stare. "Do what?"

"Defend him like that? Forgive him like that? Why do you do it so willingly, so easily every time?"

My mind is blank. "I-,"

"Mimi, you can't let him use you like this. You can't let him treat you so low like this. He's not worth that. You deserve more than him."

I don't reply. He sighs.

"I didn't mean to get upset. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. Let's talk about something else, though, okay?" I turn around to pour myself some juice. He quickly gets up and offers to do it for me, and I can see he's truly apologetic by the guilty look in his eye. So I let him, showing him that everything's still okay between us.

I settle myself on his stool and watch him move around the kitchen.

"I don't deserve you," I say suddenly, not sure why. He pauses, peeking out from over the top of the refrigerator door to raise an eyebrow.

"I think you've got it mixed up," he smiles before disappearing behind the door again.

"It's true," I persist. "I mean, most guys don't react like this when they find out their ex-girlfriend's pregnant."

"Well, most ex-girlfriends don't tell their ex-boyfriends they're pregnant when he's not even the father."

"That's because I trust you."

He closes the door and sets the juice on the counter, sliding it over to me bartender-style to make me laugh. It works, and I smile. He grins back.

"I'm glad you do."

I sigh. "I've got to tell the rest of the gang at Daisuke's birthday party next Saturday."

His eyes widen.

"What?"

I frown. "Don't tell me you don't want anyone to know either-,"

He ignores that and shakes his head. "No, I just- I thought his part was _this_ weekend." He groans. "I scheduled this trip home so I could make it, but I've got to get back to the studio next week."

"It's okay, Yamato. Daisuke will forgive you." I smile. He doesn't return it.

"I didn't want you to this alone."

"I won't be alone."

He thinks for a moment. "Let me call my producer. I'm sure he'll give me one more week if I plead with him enough…."

"Relax, Yamato. It'll be fine. You shouldn't be missing any more of your work anyway. All your fans will be wondering what's going on. And then the media will get in a frenzy-,"

"That's not what I'm worried about," he interrupts. "I can handle the paparazzi. But I don't want you handling things like that on your own. I'd rather be there."

"I've got Sora and Hikari and Miyako, remember? And Taichi-," I stop. "Well, I'll find some way to make him useful, don't worry. It'll work out."

He doesn't laugh. He's frowning at me now.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought you said you wanted me to help, Mimi. Why won't you let me?"

"I don't want you to sacrifice everything-,"

"But that's what relationships mean," he interrupts again. "That's the whole point. And if- if you remember what I asked you, you would know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

I do remember, and I look away.

"Yamato, about that…."

"Uh oh," he murmurs jokingly. But I can still hear the hurt in his voice.

I shut my eyes.

"I've been thinking and…and I realize that you're right. I can't do something like this alone."

He's staring at me with wide eyes, as though that wasn't what he was expecting to hear. He starts to say something, but I haven't finished.

"And you are- so amazing. And sometimes I don't know why you put up with me, but I'm so happy that you do. There's nothing else- I just can't imagine doing something like this without you. I need you, Yamato." I take a deep breath. "So will you be with me?"

His mouth has dropped open and he doesn't say anything.

"Yamato, will you stay with me?"

He continues to stare for a moment. But then he blinks, confused. "But- But Mi, what about Taichi?"

Now I'm surprised. I never expected him to say that.

I open my mouth to say something, but then stop, frozen.

My mind is absolutely blank.

_Mi_. Taichi started that nickname. I didn't know a name like mine could ever inspire a shorter version, but he liked it and it's stuck ever since. He called me that my first day at Kyoto U, where he and Sora and Yamato were studying. I'd transferred in after I met Hikari in America, where she was doing a study abroad program in New York and invited me back home to my native Japan. I remember I'd lost my way on campus, clutching the hand-drawn map Sora'd scribbled down in haste that morning, before finally having the scrap piece of paper fly from my hands after a nasty gust of wind. I chased after it, wishing I'd never come back to Japan, feeling so lonely and miserable and homesick, when I suddenly turned the corner and ran smack into him. He'd caught me before I fell, and I remember the way his strong arms fit around me so protectively, warm and reassuring, and the way he'd laughed at my clumsiness, teasing me mercilessly and warning me that he won't always be there the catch me. And then he'd pointed me in the direction of my next class and disappeared, winking, "Just be careful, Mi. I'll see you later."

It's stuck ever since.

I blink, surprised with myself. I can't believe I remember that, and with so much detail. It was so long ago-

I can feel my throat constricting and I can't understand why it's suddenly so difficult to swallow. I look down at the counter, frowning. Then I wrap my arms around my stomach, shutting my eyes, trying to focus on that one moment when he had me in his arms and it felt like I could have stayed that way, so warm, forever.

Interrupting me from my reverie, Yamato's voice comes through clear and strong: "Mimi, what about Taichi?" he repeats softly.

I look up, meeting his blue-eyed gaze.

"Taichi doesn't matter."

After a long moment, Yamato reaches out a hand and gently lifts my chin so I can look up into his face. His eyes are beautifully blue.

"Mimi," he starts, hesitating slightly, "Mimi, I don't ever want you to change, okay? Let me do it. I'll take care of all this. I don't care about the music or the concerts or the money- if you need me just say the word and I'll change it all. Just promise me you'll stay the same," he adds softly. "I need you to stay the same. I just need you."

"Yamato…," I whisper, but he leans forward and lightly touches his lips to mine.

I can't remember anything I was going to say, which is the strongest effect of Yamato's kisses. Instead I sigh into his mouth and close my eyes. He laces his arms around my waist and pulls me off the stool to stand close against him, deepening the kiss. I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck and press myself against him, welcoming him and remembering him and trying to understand why I ever let him go.

His kisses are roaming now and he tucks his face into my neck, following the curve of my jaw line down to my collarbone with tender, passionate kisses. I slip one hand into his blonde locks, gripping them tightly, and slide the other hand down to the waistline of his pants. I can feel him murmuring something into my neck, biting on my ear.

"What?" I manage to gasp, eyes still closed.

"God, Mimi, I love you so much-," he whispers into my mouth.

I open my eyes.

"You have no idea- how much I've wanted this- wanted you-," he goes on, "you won't believe how much I love you-,"

I turn away. He tries to follow me, but I push him back and face the counter, away from him. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses the top of my head. I arch away from him and say nothing.

"Mimi-,"

"What are we doing?" I whisper, shutting my eyes. I bury my face in my hands.

"Everything's going to be different now," he replies into my ear. "I'm going to take care of you, of us. I'm going to make everything better for us. I'll make it all work. I'll do anything for you, Mi."

I shudder at the nickname.

"Don't call me that," I say.

He doesn't hear me, kissing my neck instead. I flinch away, staring at the countertop. What's wrong with me? Isn't this what we all wanted? Hadn't I just convinced myself how this is all for the best for everyone, how this will make everything better and solve all the problems? Why am I acting like this? I don't even understand what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it. But all of a sudden, I can't stand Yamato touching me anymore. Having his arms around me feels nothing like having-

I gasp, eyes wide.

"Mi, what's wrong?" he asks after a moment, pausing in his kisses as though he senses the chaos of my thoughts.

"Nothing," I say automatically.

"Mimi-,"

"Stop," I command, pushing myself away from him and walking to the other sideof thekitchen. I have to lean against the wall to keep standing. I feel so dizzy and weak, but I don't understand why. It feels like I'm suffocating. What's happening?

Yamato's watching me carefully. He moves closer to me, touching a hand to my cheek tenderly, lovingly.

With an unexpected lash of anger, I shove him back.

He looks shocked. "_Mimi_-,"

"We just don't work!"

He pulls back abruptly.

"The baby is very important, Yamato," I continue with a tight throat, "but relationships shouldn't be lived for other people."

He's silent. I can't stand his silence.

"Don't you understand?" I search his face desperately. "I can't do this if your only reason is to protect the baby's future. We won't work that way. Nothing will work like that."

It's a long time before he speaks. "Mimi," he says, "I've loved you all my life, no matter what happened or happens. I never stopped. It's just that simple: I love you and I want to be with you."

I want to cry.

"I care about you, too," I whisper through tears.

And then he understands. I can see it dawn on his face and it almost kills me. Without a word, he turns away and walks to the door. Taking his jacket off the couch, he pulls it on wordlessly and shuts the door hard behind him. I cover my face with my hands, upset enough to be sick, scared to death and suddenly all alone. Only one other time have I felt this lonely, this miserable and desperate for the comfort of some home, some refuge. But I guess he was right; this time, he isn't here.

Pressing a hand over my mouth, I sink into the armchair in the living room, trembling all over. The clock now says it's nearing eight in the morning. I can hear Sora moving around in my bedroom, finally awake. She stumbles out of my room and into hers to change for work. She doesn't say anything to me, moving groggily and sleepily, but I don't even notice. I'm sitting absolutely still in my chair, staring at the rug, still trying to figure out what happened.

Why can't I say it?

I don't understand. Why is it so hard for me to commit? Why do I have to be this way? I've just hurt one of the most important people in my life in one of the most brutal ways possible, and it's all my fault.

I bury my face in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut to keep the tears out.

_Why can't I say it?_

The faint ringtone of my cell phone sounds from my bedroom, and like a robot, my body picks itself up and heads towards it. I feel myself answer the phone, listening to my voice sounding so calm and controlled when inside I'm the exact opposite. It's the shock, I realize after a moment. The shock of what's happening, why it happened, and the fact that I can't do anything to fix it.

"Mimi."

"Yes?" I say in a daze.

"The flight to Kyoto leaves in two hours."

I blink. What flight to Kyoto?

"Huh?"

"I'm sending a cab in a half hour. Is that enough time?"

"What?"

"Is that enough time? Or do you want me to book a later flight?"

"Who _is _this?" I demand, still numb.

There's a pause. "Does that mean you don't want to go anymore?"

And suddenly, the answer hits me in the face like a slap. I gasp. "_Taichi_?"

"Is that a 'no'?"

"That- that's today?"

"It _is_ Saturday. And you visit your parents the last weekend of the month, only this time, that last weekend is Daisuke's party, so that's why you decided to go this weekend. Remember? We had it all arranged."

I'm reeling.

"But that was before- I mean- you still want to go?"

"Iori still needs his book."

"But you still want to? Even after everything that's-,"

"Nothing's going to change. I see no reason why this should," he replies coolly. I wish I could see him, watch his face. But his voice sounds so cold and professional on the phone, as though I'm another business appointment he's settling. For some reason, that annoys me, and I start to get the feeling back in my body. I should have known that with all the shock of what's going on and what's just happened, only Taichi's idiocy and insensitivity would pull me out of it.

So I glower into the phone, knowing he won't be able to see me. But I don't care. Now I'm mad. He's just learned he's the father of my child and he thinks he can treat me like another business investment?

"Then nothing will change," I say.

"Good," he replies swiftly, making me even more irritated. "The cab will be there in a half hour. Don't make us late."

I hang up on him first, throwing my phone into the sofa across from me. How can he be this way? _How?_ Whatever happened to the Taichi I knew in college? The one who rescued me when I was lost and alone? When did he disappear? And who is this new replacement? I swear, sometimes it feels like I don't even know Taichi anymore. Like he's a complete stranger to me, so distant and self-obsessed…. It makes me so angry!

Getting up, I stomp to my bedroom to pack, and on the way I bump into Sora as she comes out of her room, yawning. "Morning," she greets.

And the sight of her brings back everything that happened last night, and everything that went wrong this morning. I remember the look on Yamato's face just before he walked out, and I feel sick to my stomach. I bite my lip, trembling. "Sora."

"Yeah, hon?"

"Why don't I love Yamato?"

She freezes, staring at me. "What?"

I turn to meet her gaze, frowning a little. "He came by this morning. He told me he loved me. But I couldn't say it back. Why not?"

But she doesn't reply.

"It's because I don't love him, isn't it?" I ask instead.

She says nothing.

"I really hurt him, Sora," I whisper. "And I don't think I can fix this one."

It's a long time before she does say something. She takes a deep breath. "Then maybe it's time to take a break."

I stare at her, confused.

She goes on, her voice strange. "Maybe you need a chance to think things over first, both of you. I mean, I know it was a great idea, but you two did rush into really fast after you found out about everything. Maybe this just means you both need your space to work things out."

I look away. "Maybe you're right."

"I don't know if I am," she says quietly. "I just know that if there's something stopping you from being honest with him, then you have to work out yourself first. Or else you'll just hurt him again."

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath.

She steps closer to me and pulls me into a warm embrace. She doesn't have to say anything more and I'm glad she knows that. I relish in the silence for a while, trying to battle all the conflicting emotions and thoughts in my head, And we stay this way for a long time. Then I pull back reluctantly.

"Can you help me pack?"

She narrows her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"I have to tell my parents," I say grudgingly. "Taichi's coming with me."

Her mouth drops open. "He's actually _coming_ with you?"

"He said he would."

She gapes at me. "As in, he said he'd help you tell your parents?"

"Well- no. But maybe…."

"Oh my God."

"This is finally it," I sigh. "But I can't avoid dealing with them forever, I guess…."

She frowns. "What do you think their reaction will be?"

_God only knows_.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9: Miyako

**Been There

* * *

**

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

It's official.

Mimi's life is a soap opera of unprecedented complications.

Now, I've always known she has a few quirks about her life that aren't exactly normal (remember the four-potential-fathers list we made?), but it never became so clear as when Ken came home from work one day and, without saying a word and looking extremely grim, showed me the cover of a tabloid magazine Takeru had smuggled to him earlier that day, very distraught.

Apparently, two days ago, after Mimi came home from Kyoto, while working in the same town and meeting by chance, Taichi and Yamato engaged in a not so pleasant conflict of personal resentment that quickly turned physical, earning the rock star a noticeable black eye and busting the business tycoon's arrogant lip, almost breaking his jaw.

The paparazzi had gone mad- trailing Yamato as far as his bodyguards would let them and following Taichi as far as his temper would let them (which wasn't very far; he got into a fight with a photographer the next day and the tabloids quickly scurried away out of fear of their lives).

Fortunately, none of the magazine articles have discovered the reason for the fight; but unfortunately, none of us have either.

Sora and I assume it has to do with Mimi, while Hikari refuses to comment and simply takes painful efforts to make sure news of the fight never reach Mimi's ears. She has enough to worry about; her cravings have started to kick in, her doctor appointments are scaring her, and she can barely last working more than four hours at a time in her café because the smells make her nauseas.

That, and she's very upset about her parents. I don't know all the details, but they were, predictably, far from happy about the news of their unborn grandchild. Her mother, according to Mimi- whose words were hard to decipher amid the torrent of tears she delivered them in- burst into sobs and had to leave the room, while her father very pointedly asked if she had considered an abortion, a suggestion to which Taichi exploded; resulting in an argument the neighbors could hear a block away; making Mr. Tachikawa so furious he almost strangled Taichi right there in the living room if Mimi hadn't flung herself in between them just in time; crushing Mrs. Tachikawa's hopes that Taichi would marry her daughter to make the child legitimate, a suggestion to which Taichi _also_ exploded, causing Mimi's parents to expel him permanently from their home and to forbid him from ever stepping within ten feet of their daughter's presence for as long as he lived (which Mr. Tachikawa threatened wouldn't be very long at all).

After that, Mr. Tachikawa told Mimi he and her mother would be moving to Tokyo by the end of the month. He claims it's to be near her during this turning point in her life; she claims it's because he wants to keep an eye on her- and make sure Taichi really doesn't come near her. She'd been in too much shock to say anything to this decision then, but now she's so frustrated she won't even talk about it.

Mr. Tachikawa was so angry, he wouldn't even let Taichi take her home; instead, he rode with her back to Tokyo several hours before Tachi's plane was supposed to leave, and Mimi still hasn't had a chance to talk to him after his fight with her parents.

Yamato was already gone by the time she came back, speaking only once to Takeru before leaving and not returning any of her phone calls.

And poor Mimi's too stressed to even cry about it.

To make things worse- or better, in a twisted, totally freaky way- _Taichi's _parents were also informed of _their_ unborn grandchild, and Mimi, who'd gone herself to tell them with Hikari, was totally unprepared. Mrs. Yagami burst into tears as well, but she launched herself at Mimi and would have tackled her to the floor if Hikari hadn't quickly intervened to steady them both. Mr. Yagami joined the group hug, pulling his daughter in as well, and they all sobbed joyously together (except Mimi, who was too scared to utter a single peep).

Then, Mrs. Yagami insisted that Mimi check in with her regularly because she wanted to know exactly what was happening with the baby at every single moment, and Mr. Yagami began plotting to turn my old bedroom at the girls' flat into the nursery. He became very excited, whipping out plans for cribs and baby room designs that he and his wife have apparently been hording ever since Taichi got his first girlfriend way back in secondary school.

The plans were neatly organized next to a binder that contained details for Hikari's wedding, and when Mimi asked if they had one for Taichi, they both laughed and told her they knew their son too well to assume he'd ever commit to anything, nor did they in their wildest dreams expect to see him before any judge unless it was for a traffic violation. Very eagerly, they sat Mimi and Hikari down and began going over plans to make the nursery, and finally, Mr. Yagami made arrangements to visit the flat periodically and oversee the renovations, beginning that very week.

Then Mrs. Yagami told Mimi not to worry about her parents, that she would love to teach and train her as much as she knew how in the art of mothering, and that she'd be right there with her every step of her pregnancy. And that she mustn't worry about Taichi's chronic stupidity; Mrs. Yagami herself would deal with him personally as soon as possible. And that she wouldn't have asked for any other mother for her first grandchild.

Leaving Mimi in an utter and complete, wordless daze for the rest of the day.

She's still in it now, a full day after she was welcomed with open arms into the Yagami family, regardless of the fact that there is nothing legal about her newfound relations to their bloodline. She's curled in the couch in my living room, her feet tucked under her, her arms wrapped around her knees, watching Hikari and I pour over the wedding plans Mrs. Yagami organized so many years ago, watching but not really seeing. She's tried to call Yamato again, but his agent has gotten irritated with her and has temporarily screened her calls so Yamato can finish rehearsing with his band. Sora's at work, Hikari's taken the day off, and I'm skipping so we can all hang out together leisurely and lazily in my new apartment with Ken (who's at work).

I pause at the section devoted to bridal gowns.

"Oh, God, Kari," I gasp, "this one is so beautiful! Your parents have such good taste!"

Hikari laughs. It's the first time she's smiled this much, I notice, in a long time. "I wonder where they got all of these pictures," Hikari muses, scanning the gowns with scrutiny.

"They've been planning it for a long time, I'll bet," I add, flipping the page.

"I've always known they were. My mother once asked me a few years ago whether I preferred an outside wedding or an inside wedding."

"What'd you say?"

"I told her to wait until I get a boyfriend first."

"Oh, but you could never share this sort of things with boyfriends," I interrupt firmly. "They'll only get scared away."

"That's true."

I place my finger on a lovely, pearl-embroidered, strapless gown trimmed with beaded lace. "This one is to _die_ for. Don't you think so, Mimi?" I hold the binder up for her to see.

She smiles at me distractedly. "It's lovely."

"When my sister got married, I'd follow her to the bridal stores just to try on the dress," I remember. I sigh longingly. "Those things make you feel like a princess…."

Hikari sits up. "Do you want to go now?"

I stare at her.

"None of us are getting married."

"Well, not _yet_," she says with a sly grin.

I groan. "Don't! Not you, too!"

"Miyako, you're _living together_. You're on the home stretch now!"

I roll my eyes.

"You're awful."

"I'm just suggesting that the time is ripe for putting your dreams to practicality."

"We haven't talked about marriage _once_, Kari."

She shrugs and gets to her feet, moving gracefully as she always does. "It'll be fun."

"I don't know-,"

"I'll go," Mimi suddenly interrupts.

We both freeze and stare at her. Hikari's eyes are wide. "Really? You want to come?"

Mimi nods. "Yes. I'll go."

Hikari hesitates, looking as though she wants to say something, but then she changes her mind and forces a smile at me. "You're the only one still sitting on the fence, Miyako."

I sigh dramatically, exaggerating my reluctance (which is actually nonexistent). "Fine. I'm coming."

So I leave a note for Ken telling him I'm going out shopping with my girls, and we all head out. We have to stop at Hikari's school so she can speak quickly with one of the principals about an upcoming fieldtrip she's planning for her kids. I wait in the taxi with Mimi, who's unusually quiet. She's staring out of the window, her eyes empty.

"Mi, you okay?" I ask softly.

She starts, surprised. But then she recovers quickly, smiling. "Of course. Just thinking."

I pat her stomach. "You know, you shouldn't stress so much. I'm sure it's not good for the baby. What'd the doctor say last time?"

"The usual. But she says that since mine is a 'unique situation,' I should enroll in a pregnancy class."

"Oh. Kind of like a support group, you mean?"

She nods. "Sort of. She recommended one. 'Baby and me.'"

"How original."

Mimi laughs. "I know. But I was looking at their flyers. They take you all the way through the early stages up to labor and delivery and even up to a year after the baby's born. They teach you everything." She pauses. "It's for single mothers."

I smile, unsure of what to say exactly. But then I reach across the seats and squeeze her hand. "Well, if you need some moral support, I'll be glad to come with you some time."

She smiles again.

Hikari returns and we all make our way downtown. We run a quick stop at an ice cream parlor and Mimi remembers that she wants to check in with Huan and her café after our day is done. We agree, planning on having dinner at the café after our shopping, and finally enter the bridal store.

The first thing I notice is its distinctive smell. It's not the kind of department stores or museums, but of a strange mixture of both. Of things new and fragile, but still delicate and full of future. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But these dresses are _gorgeous_.

Hikari heads over to one rack and holds up an elegantly faded, off-white gown with puffy sleeves. "Try this one, Miyako," she says, holding it up as if to picture me in it already.

I wrinkle my nose.

"I am not a fluffy sleeves woman, Kari."

Mimi pokes at a simple, pure white dress made of smooth silk. "What about-," she starts to say, but is interrupted as a sales clerk- previously unnoticed- swoops down and plants herself by Mimi's side. She smiles sweetly, her face heavily made up and her contact-green-eyes shielded by large artist style glasses. Hikari claps a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

"Why, _hello_, there," the sales clerk greets Mimi warmly, her voice sugary sweet.

Mimi looks terrified.

"H-Hello…?"

"May I help you?"

Without a word, Mimi holds up her left hand, revealing a neglected ring finger. The sales clerk blinks in confusion, taken aback.

"Oh, my mistake." She turns around, studying each of us in turn. "Then which one of you-?"

"She is," Hikari says at once, pointing an accusatory finger at me. I gape at her but she winks back at me.

The sales clerk's face is blank. She pouts her bottom lip, frowning at me appraisingly. Then she glances back at Mimi, almost wistfully. With a sharp shake of her head, she breaks out into a truly scary grin and walks over to take my hand in greeting.

"Well, congratulations, my dear!"

"Actually-,"

"We're looking for something simple, but not too common. You know, an elegant ordinary," Hikari explains to her. I shoot her another look, which she pointedly ignores.

"I see, of course." The sales clerk sweeps her gaze over me, narrowing her eyes as she does some quick mental calculations. "Wait just one moment." And with that, she turns on her high heels and clicks her way into the back of the store.

I stamp my foot. "Hikari!"

"What?" she demands innocently. "You _are_ the closest one."

"So?"

"So consider this practice."

I cross my arms over my chest. "What's gotten into lately?" I ask after a moment, distrustful.

"What are you talking about?" she smirks, amused.

"You're all happy all the time."

"Exactly what are you implying?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't take it the wrong way, Kar. I'm just saying that you…you're different some how. Wanna tell us why?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"_Hikari_."

She turns around and walks to the rack again, shifting through the dresses. She picks out a light pink bridesmaid gown, its skirt full and flowing. "This would look beautiful on you, Mimi."

"Don't try and change the subject," I say impatiently.

"Miyako, nothing's going on-,"

"I don't believe that!"

"It's not _my_ fault if you don't-,"

"Hikari!" I whine, stamping my foot again. "Tell me!"

She rolls her eyes, hiding behind the dresses again.

The sales clerk returns, carrying three white dresses. The first comes with a veil, while the other two can fit to any veil in the store. The second one is trimmed in lace, with see-through sleeves that cover the arm from the shoulders to the tips of the fingers. The third is the one I like at once: its bodice comes low over the waist, outlined in tiny roses, and the skirt is wide and dotted with similar flowers around the hem.

Hikari wants me to try all of them, so I carry them into the dressing room along the back wall and begin to change. The first one Mimi likes. She says the silver ribbons around the waist and bust compliment my skin tone. Hikari agrees with her, but that isn't enough to make her like the dress. I close the door and start to change again, admiring the lacework on this second gown, when I suddenly overhear Hikari's voice, low and soft, whispering to Mimi. I stop.

"Mama talked to Taichi last night."

Mimi doesn't reply.

"She called me this morning to tell me what happened." She pauses. "Do you want to know?"

Still, she does not reply.

"Mimi-,"

"Kari, I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"You have to, Mi. You two haven't even spoken since- well, since that fight with your parents. I know things have been busy and crazy, and that you have to deal with everything else, but you can't just give up on fixing this with him."

"I've spent enough time trying to reach him. If he really wanted to talk to me, he would have replied by now."

"Mimi…."

"Hikari, please, let's drop it?"

"I can't. This involves me, too, in case you've forgotten."

"I haven't," Mimi's voice says sharply. There's a bit of silence, and I hold my breath, eyes wide.

"I know," Hikari says after a moment. "I'm sorry for getting upset. I just…I'm worried about him, that's all." She pauses. "You know how he can be. He's just- he's not good with this kind of situations. He doesn't know how to act, so he tries to avoid acting at all. That's why you have to force him to talk to you. You have to force him to listen, you know?"

"Oh, _I_ know."

"He's really sorry about what happened with your parents, Mi. He's really sorry about everything."

She's silent.

"He really is."

Mimi takes a deep breath, "So am I. But I'm tired of apologies. Especially his."

Hikari says nothing.

Mimi sighs again. "Sora told me she's doing fashion show where Yamato's recording studio is. She said she's talk to him for me. Do you think it'll work?"

Hikari's voice is low and controlled, and I can tell she's frustrated. Perhaps that's why her next words seem even harsher. "Honestly, Mi, I don't know. As much as it hurts to hear this, I don't think he wants to see you right now."

There's a long moment, and then Mimi sniffs as though trying to hold back tears.

"Oh, God, everything's so messed up-,"

Hikari shushes her, the regret in her tone reflecting in her comforting, low whispers. I close my eyes, biting my lip. I'm not sure who to be angry with or who to be sorry for, to be honest. I mean, Mimi's not exactly in the best of situations right now, and though some of it's probably her own fault, she's really trying to make it work. And Yamato- well, I don't know the whole story, but I think something might have broken there that will take a really long time to fix, never mind the fact that he doesn't seem to want to try to fix it, though I couldn't blame him if he won't. And Taichi….

I remember when I first met Tai. It was at a football match (obviously- no surprise there) where Ken was playing, and I'd gone even though I had a huge project for my business class to finish the next day. But I just had to see Ken play, to prove to him I was actually interested in things besides his body, which- despite everything you might have inferred by now- is really true; I am interested in things he likes. Well, some things. Football is certainly not among the top five (or even the top ten) but I had gotten sort of attached ever since Hikari, Takeru, and I started hanging out with Ken and Daisuke, who were rabid fans of the sport, the spring of our freshman year in college.

I remember that Daisuke and Ken had been particularly excited that day because Hikari had invited her big-shot football star older brother to the game. He was studying as a domestic study abroad student that semester and was nearby, so he said he would try to squeeze in some time to visit his favorite sister. The only other person who had met him then was Takeru, who was dating Hikari then and had therefore been subjected to Taichi's impossible and grueling standards in order to pursue a relationship with his kid sister. Although, to be fair, Takeru was the only guy Taichi actually approved of, mostly because he also happened to be Taichi's best friend's kid brother. (I remember Hikari telling me how much Taichi and Yamato thought the idea of becoming brothers-in-law was just _so_ hilarious.)

Finally, the big moment arrived. Ken had just saved his team from utter humiliation, and Daisuke was torn between behaving like a true football team captain and gluing his eyes to the stands in search of Taichi. At the exact moment when everyone was totally engrossed in the game, sitting on the edge of their seats and lost in the tension and excitement of the monumental match, Taichi finally showed up, leading a very flustered Mimi by the hand.

Takeru, like all the other males in our section of the bleachers, couldn't take his eyes off Mimi. There was something there, maybe in her eyes, or the way she held herself, or something in her that only men could pick up on, that was captivating. She wore a pretty, white sunflower dress with a pearl bracelet Taichi had bought her for her birthday, matched by a very expensive purse Yamato had given her.

I remember being impressed with Taichi as he sauntered over to us, kissing Hikari hello on the cheek before settling himself on the bleachers in front of us. He had the very air of success, like it followed him everywhere. He was handsome in a suave, mischievous kind of way, and that permanent smirk on his lips both annoyed me and made my stomach do flip-flops. Like Mimi, there was just something about him that made heads turn, but not the way Yamato did. Taichi was attractive in a different way. You couldn't take your eyes off of him because you were too afraid of missing something, something you only had one secret chance to see.

And all through the game, Taichi kept his hand looped casually around Mimi's waist. His fingers played with her hair as he leaned back against the bleachers, watching the match with devoted interest, completely ignoring her incessant chatter, but never once removing his protective hold around her.

At least, not until the end of the game, when Yamato finally arrived.

I sigh now, recalling that image. Irony really isn't all that funny, even in hindsight.

Telling myself to get my act together, I take a deep breath, finish securing the new gown around my body, and step out of the fitting room.

I'm surprised to see Hikari there only.

I frown. "Where's Mimi?" I ask, confused.

Hikari smiles. "She decided to go back to the café now. She said she'd meet us there when we're done."

I nod, understanding, knowing better than to interrogate for more answers. So instead, I wink at my best friend and twirl for her.

"What do you think?"

"Much better," Hikari laughs, clapping her hands in applause. "But you've got to try that last one."

"You should try this," I say, pointing to the one I'm wearing now. "I think it would fit your body type more."

Hikari tries to shake her head, but I refuse to hear any excuses.

"Come on! Do it for me?" I beg.

She rolls her eyes.

"Fine."

We burst into giggles and scurry back into the fitting rooms. Minutes later, she comes out and calls my name. I step out as well, still fiddling with my veil, but I stop once I see Hikari in her gown. I press my hands over my mouth to muffle my squeal.

"I need a camera!"

"We can use my phone," she says, going to her purse.

Together, we touch heads and grin up at the camera phone she holds out. Right when we hear the snapshot click, the door opens, catching us both off-guard.

Takeru's standing there, his eyes on Hikari. "Damn," he whistles lowly, grinning. "What announcement did I miss?"

She makes a face at him and turns back around, fixing the ruffles in her skirt as she stares at herself in the mirror. I twirl for Takeru to see and he laughs, admiring. Then I stop, pushing back my veil.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Ken and I found your note. We decided to come after you."

I freeze.

"_What_?"

His smile falters. "Something wrong?"

I stumble back, almost tripping on the expensive hem. "He's _here_? _Now_? With _you_?"

"Sure," Takeru leans back and points out the glass windows of the store. "He's right out there, buying a newspaper. I was just walking by and saw you through the window. I can go get him if you want-,"

"_No_! No, I _don't_ want that!" Spinning around, I panic, waddling in my heavy gown to the fitting rooms. "He can't see me like this! He'll get the wrong idea and it'll all just- oh God, why is this happening to _me_?"

Hikari has gathered her skirts in her hands and is trying to follow me. "Miyako, wait, calm down-,"

"I can't calm down! Don't tell me to calm down! _He can't see me like this_!"

The bell on the door rings again, and I hear Ken's voice.

"Takeru, after you tell me what you're doing in a place like _this_, did you hear about-?" he starts, but then stops suddenly, the newspaper falling to the floor at once. The silence in the room is deafening. I want to melt into a puddle and die, right there, right now, please God take me soon, I swear-

He stutters, face paler than a sheet and eyes huge.

"M-Mi-_Miyako_?"

I spin back around, grinning stupidly, wanting to shoot myself.

"Surprise!"

* * *


	10. Chapter 10: Sora

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

The things I get talked into doing.

Here I am, waiting to talk to my own flight of fancy, so I can somehow get him to come back to my best friend, so they can eventually end up as the perfect couple- _again_.

If I were in a chipper mood, I'd be amused by the irony. Instead, I find it all completely and humiliatingly ridiculous.

Fact of the matter is, I _want_ them to fix this. Yamato without Mimi and Mimi without Yamato is just wrong. It was weird when they're just friends, even weirder when they're not speaking. Something doesn't click in either of them. Mimi's more withdrawn but just as emotional (though that might just be hormones) and Yamato doesn't smile as much. Instead, he'll do things like get into fights with Taichi, something that hasn't happened since college.

I still have yet to understand their relationship. They met before college, actually, two of the few among our group that actually did so. They went to secondary school together and became friends then, though Yamato never paid much attention to sports and Taichi can't sing to save his life. But they found grounds for friendship beyond that, and none of us ever tried to understand it. It was just one of those things you always expected: if Taichi was in trouble (and he frequently was), Yamato bailed him out without a word, and if Yamato needed someone to back him up, Taichi supported him no matter who he was facing. They counted on each other; they never let each other down.

When they got to college, though, things started changing.

I met Taichi through Yamato, and Yamato met Mimi through Taichi. From then on, we just clicked. The four of us hung out everywhere. We were the original Musketeers.

But then, Yamato started losing focus. Mimi offered him the distraction he needed, and he spent less and less time studying and more and more time on his music. She was his muse, his inspiration. And she never failed him. She was the perfect friend and the perfect fan. She helped him with his songwriting, giving him advice and singing back the tunes so he could hear it as well. That sort of attention and interest was refreshingly new for him, and Mimi just loved being needed.

It was no surprise, then, that the night Yamato signed his first record deal was the first night he and Mimi spent together. And it was the first time, really, that our merry band began to drift apart. It was focused on those two, and they stuck together, the perfect couple.

I eventually transferred to a college that offered the courses I was looking for. Taichi stayed for a while longer, the third wheel, until, like me, he gave up and moved out. He spent a year rooming with Jyou in northern Japan before heading out to intern at a prestigious business firm in New York. He spent nearly six months there before returning home completely different. It was like he was a stranger. Hardly any of us recognized him. He was calmer than before, more controlled, less outgoing, less open. He'd become incredibly popular and hit the bottle more times than his mother liked, but he'd never cared what people thought of him and he certainly wasn't going to start.

And one day, when he was being exceptionally arrogant, Mimi exploded on him.

He just stood there, in total shock, as she screamed at him until she started to cry, she was that frustrated and heartbroken over his dramatic change. I'd never seen him look so confused. He didn't even try to defend himself, didn't speak once. I remember the expression on his face. Like he was dying from the inside out.

We all thought that was it. We all thought Mimi had finally broken through the shell and we were going to get Taichi back, the real Taichi.

But we didn't.

Fresh out of grad school, Taichi was hired by an up-and-rising business corporation here in Tokyo; Yamato was making it big on the music charts; I was studying fashion design with my idols; and Mimi opened up her café for the first time. We were all spreading on four different paths, each beginning at another's but somehow never heading the same place.

Funny how things happen like that….

Two or three years later, Mimi broke it off with Yamato for reasons yet to be made completely clear and moved in with me, only to be followed by Hikari and Miyako when they finished school and found jobs downtown. Which brings us back to the present situation.

Mimi can't take care of a child alone. Her parents made it obviously clear how they thought about the issue, so we can't count on them. And frankly, letting them move to Tokyo isn't going to help Mimi learn responsibility at all. The only person who can talk her into doing things she doesn't want to, into facing the cold, hard truth with her chin up high, is Yamato, who loves her too much to let her do this to herself, by herself. I just know he wants to help. And maybe this fight really is a crossroads for them, but I can't believe they'd let it interfere with the upbringing of another human being. He's the one who cares about them both. I just know he does.

Around the late evening, the door to the recording studio finally opens and I rise from the chair outside the room. The drummer and keyboardist walk out first, arguing over something trivial, as usual, followed by the producer, who gives me a funny look but hurriedly passes me by. I hear Yamato's voice from inside the studio, talking to his manager. They don't seem to be having the most pleasant conversation. His manager, who isn't exactly the kindest, most amiable soul in the world, is complaining about the quality of Yamato's work for that day, and Yamato replies heatedly and irritably.

Finally, after tempers rise for a few more minutes, Yamato stomps out, his eyes masked by dark shades and supporting his guitar over one shoulder. He stops when he sees me, his mouth drawn in a thin line.

"What are you doing here?" he demands rudely.

"Spending too much time at the bar, are you?" I reply airily.

He glowers, and I know I'm right. Yamato, as cool as he is, doesn't wear sunglasses in dark studios unless he's intentionally trying to cover up a hangover.

"What do you want?" he asks instead.

"Let's have dinner."

"Can't."

"Great! I love Italian."

"Sora, I'm busy."

"Well, then, let's hurry. We don't want to miss our reservation, now do we?"

He sighs. I take him by the hand.

"You didn't think running off like that was going to get you out of talking, did you?" I smile dryly. "Because that's a very Taichi thing to do, and you know it never works."

He scowls instinctively when I mention Taichi's name. Running a hand over his tired face, he sighs again. "Fine. But I can't stay long. I've got a lot of work to do for tomorrow-,"

"Tomorrow's tomorrow and today is still today," I remind confidently. "Let's go."

We find a nice, small Western restaurant a few blocks away from the recording studio. Deciding to sit outside, we settle ourselves as the waiter arrives to take our orders. A few minutes of awkward silence passes, in which Yamato stares hard at the design on his napkin and I catch myself counting the number of squares in the sidewalk one to many times. Shaking my head, I take a deep breath.

"Listen, Mimi told me what happened."

I can't read his expression through the shades, and he doesn't move, so I pause for a moment and then go on.

"And you may not believe me, but I know how it feels, all right?"

He lifts his chin, studying me closely.

"No, you don't," he replies soflty.

"Don't tell me what I do or don't know," I snap back. "I hate it when people do that. I didn't expect it from you, though…."

He drops his chin again.

"Sorry."

I bite my lip. "So is she."

He doesn't reply.

I sigh.

"I don't know what happened between you two. All I know is Mimi really needs you right now. And I know you're hurting and you need your space to sort things out and everything just seems to be going too fast to keep up with, but you've got to put all that aside and realize what's best for the situation."

He smirks, taking off his sunglasses finally. I can see the dark red circles around his eyes, the bleary look and the exhausted expression. _Like dying from the inside out_, I observe suddenly. I blink, surprised by the comment. But I blink it away, trying to focus on the matter at hand.

"What's best for the situation," he repeats slowly, dully. "But tell me, Sora, what's best for _my_ situation? Or am I just being selfish?"

I look away.

"I told you, I know how it feels."

"Forget it," he crosses his arms over his chest, glaring.

I glance back at him. "I do."

"No body knows how it feels but me because this is happening to _me_." He pauses. "And it feels like-,"

"Like somebody kicked you in the stomach, like your heart's being clenched too hard to breathe, like each minute away from her is another minute of the kind of hell not even Satan himself could stand." He grows very still, staring at me strangely. I smile back weakly. "Like that?"

He takes a deep, shaky breath. "Yeah…like that…."

The waiter arrives then with the food, but we don't touch anything. Nervously, I sip my wine.

He opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it suddenly. Frowning, he asks me very quietly, "Was it someone I know?"

I smile again, feeling lightheaded.

"Not anymore. He's gone."

His gaze is unwavering.

"Where?" he breathes.

I lean forward in my chair. "Someplace I can't follow, someplace I know I never would have been able to follow." I hesitate. "And now, actually, I'm glad I didn't." I smile again.

I can see it slowly dawn on his face. He shuts his eyes, sinking low in his seat.

"Oh, _Sora_…."

"Don't," I interrupt quickly, a little panicked. "Don't start-,"

His eyes are wide.

"Why- why didn't you tell me?" he stammers after a moment.

Despite the strange situation, I just laugh at him. "For the same reason you won't go back to Mimi now: I was too afraid of getting hurt."

He closes his mouth, frowning. Then he looks down at his hands, his forehead creased in thought. I lean forward, smiling sadly.

"Listen, Yamato. We all met each other for a reason that none of us will most likely never understand. All I know is that this is our fate." I pause. "So…so don't leave us hanging, Yamato. We need you back. Don't break away now. She needs you too much."

He stares hard at his plate.

"Sora…," he whispers finally, shutting his eyes, "why can't it be me?" He takes a deep breath. "I'm trying so hard not to be the one left behind, but I still am. And the stupidest part is I don't care. She can do what she wants to me, I don't care. I'll keep running after her."

I pull back, watching him.

He puts his face in his hands, shaking his head. "Why can't it be me?"

"Who says it isn't?"

He looks up sharply, surprised.

I smile at him.

"The Ishida Yamato I know wouldn't give up this easily," I say. "He would have fought back."

"Against his own best friend?" he replies sourly, bitterly.

"Against heaven and hell if he really wanted to," I whisper.

He looks at me again. He inhales slowly. "I can't go through this again, Sora. I can't get hurt again-,"

"It'll only hurt more knowing you let her go without a fight."

After a long moment, he sits back in his chair, slouching. "I know…." He runs a hand through his hair. "But I don't know if I can do this."

"Just come back with me to see her," I interrupt firmly. "Just for this weekend. I know it'll screw with your schedule and your producers will go ballistic, but nothing else will prove to her how much you want this to work then coming home with me for Daisuke's party. Okay?"

He chews his lip thoughtfully, frowning. Then he throws up his hands in defeat, shaking his head.

"Fine."

And that's how I accomplished my goal.

Granted, I never imagined I'd have to finally confess to him a secret I'd been withholding for years, but actually, now that I have, I feel so much lighter. I can look at him without that churning, painful wrench in my gut now. Of course, that's not to say I'm over this completely. Sometimes, the wish is still there. But it never occurred to me before then what a person will do for the one they love, and I think that's more of an expression of romance than anything else. This is my gift to him, and to Mimi.

Speaking of which, when I return to Tokyo with Yamato two days later, I find her trying to eat her weight in corndogs for breakfast, a food I have always found revolting. So has she, but apparently, the pregnant don't discriminate.

She looks up from the kitchen table, pregnancy and childcare pamphlets, diagrams, and charts spread over the counter. (She's been getting really active in her new pregnancy class lately, as you can infer.)

"Well?" she asks through a full mouth.

I make a face at her. "Swallow."

She does and repeats her question. I just smile and nod. "He's staying with Takeru, but he said he'll be right over afterwards."

With a great big sigh of relief, she sinks down onto a stool and shuts her eyes.

"Thank you so much, Sora."

"As long as this baby is healthy and happy, I'll do anything, Mi," I promise.

She opens her eyes and smiles back at me.

At that moment, the bathroom door opens, and out steps a showered and refreshed Michael, clad in a towel, who smiles at me before making his way to Miyako's old bedroom. My feet are glued to the floor.

I squeak, "_Mimi_!"

"What?" she asks innocently.

"What is _he_ doing here?"

"Who, Michael?"

I stare at her.

"What, you have _more_ strange naked men hiding around the apartment?"

She rolls her eyes. "He came to surprise me. Isn't that sweet?"

I try to make sense of this, of her, but alas, nothing clicks. "Did you tell him-?"

"No!" she snaps suddenly. Then she flushes, looking guilty. "Sorry, I just…. He'll find out at the party, like the others."

I stare at Miyako's closed door.

"It's not what you think," she starts to defend.

"I don't even want to know," I interrupt. "Look, I did my share: I got Yamato to come back. You deal with his reaction when he comes over any minute now and finds your old flame in the bedroom."

She makes a face.

"Nothing happened. His plane touched down really late last night and he needed to shower this morning. It was the hospitable thing to do." She nods her head matter-of-factly, as if to reassure herself.

"You keep telling yourself that," I smirk.

The doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," Mimi says confidently.

I throw my hands up in mock surrender and walk to the living room.

Yamato looks a little breathless, and for a moment, the two of them just stand there, gazing shyly at each other. Finally, they speak at the same time: "I'm sorry about-,"

Yamato breaks off and smiles. "You first."

"No, you," she insists.

"Please spare me," I beg.

Mimi throws me a look and Yamato chuckles nervously. He shifts his feet.

"Listen, Mimi…. It was wrong of me to just walk out on you like that and to ignore all your calls. I just needed some space to think things through, you know? And now I have and now I realize that…that trying to make something out of this right now would be wrong. You were right; it'd be for the wrong reasons, and that's not how relationships should be built. And I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, especially when you need support from your friends the most."

He hesitates, "You know I don't want to be just your friend. You know how I feel about you, and I'll never stop loving you no matter what happens. But because of that, I'm not going to let that stop me from being here for you. And you've got to promise me that you won't let it get in the way either. I want us to be honest with each other, Mimi. I don't want any more secrets or any more obligations we think we may have to each other because of the past. We're looking at the future now, and I don't want to miss it because we've been staring in the wrong direction too long. I want to be here for you, but I'm going to wait. I'll wait as long as you need me to, Mimi…." He trails off, looking uncertain.

Before Mimi can speak, though, Michael emerges.

Mimi turns around, blinking as though in a daze. Yamato's frozen stiff.

"Oh, you remember Michael, don't you, Yamato?" Mimi asks in a strange voice. I can tell by the look on her face that she's still trying to sort out the words Yamato just told her, and it's affecting her speaking ability. I jump to my feet to help out, not wanting the situation to end up too ugly all over again.

"Uh-," Yamato stammers, and I rush forward to rescue them all.

"Michael's just come for a visit," I explain hurriedly. "He's staying for Daisuke's party. Aren't you, Michael?"

The handsome blond blinks in confusion. "I guess I am now," he laughs after a moment, his thick American accent shining through.

I force out a nervous laugh, exchanging looks with Mimi, who still hasn't recovered. She looks a little sick, to be honest. My eyes widen. Uh-oh. Must be the corndogs.

"Mimi-," I start to warn, reaching for her, but she gives out a cry, claps a hand over her mouth and dives for the bathroom. I stand there in shock, and Yamato winces when we hear her retching.

Michael's truly alarmed.

"Mimi!" he calls after her, panicked, trying to follow her, but I grab his arm.

"It's okay," I say. "Just morning sickness."

Michaels freezes. "_What_?"

I feel the blood drain from my face.

Michael puts two and two together and turns on me. "Is she-?"

"Yes," I reply meekly. Well, so much for Mimi's plan...

Michael's paler than a sheet. He jaw drops open. "But- but how?"

"I think we all know _how_," I mutter.

Yamato throws me a look, but I ignore it. "Listen, Michael," I say, "Mimi really didn't want you to know quite yet, but-,"

"Why not?"

"Well, we're waiting to tell everyone at Daisuke's party tomorrow, but-,"

"Wait, wait, this is too much!" Michael shakes his head, rubbing his forehead. "I don't- when did this happen?"

"About two and half months ago," I estimate. "Almost three."

"And she hasn't told anyone until now?"

"Well, we had to be sure first."

He stares at me in disbelief. Then he looks at Yamato. "Are you-?"

"No," he replies just as quickly.

"But then, who?" he demands.

"Um…." I break off when the door opens again and Hikari squeezes through, carrying an armload of groceries. She stops in surprise when she sees Yamato, her eyes wide.

"You came back?" she asks, half in wonder and half in relief.

Yamato smiles for the first time in a long while. "Yes. I came back."

She grins. "Thank God. Taichi should take some lessons from you. All yesterday it's been back and forth and back and forth between those two. Phone calls, emails, and I'm the go-between because they refuse to adjust their lives to meet like normal people.I mean, if they are going to be parents, they should at least be able to _speak_ to one another civilly-,"

"_Taichi_?" Michael cries in a strangled voice.

Hikari stops, paling as well.

"Uh-oh."

"I swear to God I'm going to annihilate the male race one day…" Mimi groans from the bathroom, waddling her way into her bedroom to change, completely oblivious to the drama going on in the hallway, as usual.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11: Hikari

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

Takeru picks us up exactly at five. He is probably the most punctual man I know, which is both endearing and annoying. At that moment when he lets himself in with a key I'd given him in case of an emergency, I am running to my bedroom with my hair still wet, half of Sora's hair is caught up in curlers, and Mimi still can't make up her mind what dress to wear. 

He stands there in total amusement, watching us panic.

"It's only Daisuke," he says. "I highly doubt he's worth this much trouble."

Sora throws him a look, fumbling with the curlers. She shakes out her hair and hands the curlers to me so I can run my wet hair through them quickly with a blow dryer.

"You're early," I tell him as I race back to my bedroom.

"You're late," he calls back.

I shut the door, ignoring him, and busy myself in front of the mirror. My hair is definitely not working with me today. In fact, I think it's fair to say that nothing is working for me today.

After Michael's surprise arrival yesterday, we managed to settle the situation and talk him into leaving with Yamato so he can clear his head. Yamato was clearly unhappy with the idea, but he was willing to do it if only to make things easier on Mimi, who felt so awful she went to bed for the rest of the day, sobbing over sappy romance movies Miyako sent her in genuine belief that they would cheer her up during her pregnancy. Unfortunately, all they did was convince an already emotional Mimi that she would never fall in love and be happy, and Sora had her hands full all night trying to convince her this was all in her head.

While that was going on, Miyako called, in tears.

For the umpteenth time, she begged to come and stay with us again, convinced her relationship was down the drain, but I managed to distract her with enough encouragement and support to keep her with Ken, who apparently has been spending more and more time at work in effort to avoid discussing the bridal-shop-catastrophe. Miyako had wanted to come home with me right after that, but I explained to Ken exactly what happened and he seemed to understand. According to Miyako, that was all just to save face, and now their conversations have dwindled to hellos and good-byes and Miyako's devastated. But then again, they weren't the sort of couple that fought much, so this is new to her. While this situation isn't exactly a fight, it's something, and I tol dher to just wait and see what happens. I also promised to make Takeru talk to Ken for her, which he was supposed to have done last night.

I would have talked to Ken again myself, purely out of guilt, because to be fair most of it was my fault for dragging Miyako to the bridal store in the first place, but then again, the men weren't supposed to ever find out. But after the catastrophe, Mimi, who had left before it unfolded to return to the café, had called Taichi, and he miraculously answered the phone.

Their conversation was short and brief and right afterwards _both_ of them called me. According to Mimi, Taichi hadn't been the most compassionate soul and he was refusing to see her side of the issue and help once in a while. According to my brother, Mimi was being impossible and difficult and overdramatic and she would have to learn to grow up and be more realistic if she really wanted him to get involved. I told them both to call each other and not me.

Do they listen?

Do they ever?

And so, I became the messenger for those two. Well, I probably shouldn't complain because at least they're making attempts to communicate, even if it isn't ending up with the best results. But today, Daisuke's birthday should be reason enough to put the two together in one room. Hopefully, if all goes well, they'll reach a compromise and make some decisions.

To be honest, I don't know why they're having such a hard time.

I mean, Yamato is there, isn't he? He came back to her, after all. Which means, Taichi won't have to do as much. But for some reason, Mimi won't let it go. She insists on his involvement, which only irritates my brother more with the frequent interruptions to his work schedule. When I called him this morning to remind him about Daisuke's party, I remembered to mention that Yamato had come back and that everything was going to be okay and that he wouldn't have to worry about being bothered as much.

He hung up on me.

Before I could even react, Takeru entered, which brings us back to the present.

Trying not to think about that phone call with Taichi, I finish my hair and then proceed with my make-up and clothes. Finally satisfied, I check my purse to make sure everything's inside and take Daisuke's present from out of the top of my closet where I've hidden it. I really had nothing to worry about, I know, since Daisuke hardly ever comes over as much as he used to, so the chance of him happening upon it is incredibly slim. But I had to, out of tradition's sake.

Actually, Daisuke has been talking to me more. Ever since he came over that day to discuss our friendship, we've made a point to speak as often as we can. Sometimes he calls me at work, or late at night, usually, and our conversations drag as long as they used to in college. I've caught myself waiting for his calls, for his voice to make a friendly joke on the other line, never preceded by an introduction because that's not his style. He just talks, about anything and everything, and I don't care half the time. I just like listening to him, imagining him as his deep, strong voice filters through the phone line and sends shivers down my spine.

"Hey, Kari," a voice calls. Blinking out of my daze, I frown slightly and turn towards the door.

"Takeru?"

"Guess again," the voice laughs.

I feel the smile pull slowly across my face. Picking up my purse and the present, I open my bedroom door and find Willis standing next to Takeru, smirking slyly. I stop, my hands clasped in front of me. Now Willis is a man I don't think I can ever forget. I met him in New York, when I was a study abroad student there, and I'm so glad I did. I was completely lost in that big city, unfamiliar with everything, but he found me and helped me out several times, and I've always been grateful. He used to do a lot of traveling for his job, and thus he would often fly out to Japan to see me once I moved back here. Lately, however, the trips have gotten fewer and far between, but I understand. It's enough knowing that if I ever am stuck somewhere and hopelessly lost, I've got Willis to count on to pull me out and take me home.

"Hey, to you too," I say.

"That's all I get?" he teases.

"That's all you deserve," I correct.

He reaches my side in long, steady strides and leans forward to kiss me on the cheek. I ignore the smirk on Takeru's face, focusing on my friend instead.

"How are you?"

He shrugs. "All right. Did I tell you I don't work for that company anymore? After what your suggestion, I looked for another job, and NASA offered me an executive position on its engineering team. I think you'll approve."

I laugh. "You go through more jobs than anyone I know, Willis."

He winks.

"Ready to go?"

"Sure."

I look back and see Sora and Mimi emerging from their rooms and they take a few minutes to gush over each other and then over Willis, who's delighted with the attention. Finally Takeru announces the urgency of the time and we leave.

The party is at a popular restaurant that Daisuke favors very much. Ken rented the banquet hall and the servers have decorated the place very brightly, with candles, Christmas lights, patterned napkins and tablecloths everywhere. Koushiro and Iori are already there, sipping cocktails, but they quickly reach our side when we enter.

"Great, isn't it?" Iori asks, smiling as he appraises the place again.

"Yes," Willis agrees. "Ken arranged all this?"

"Of course." Koushiro pauses. "But I haven't seen him all night…."

"I think he and Miyako will be bringing Daisuke here, actually," Sora remembers. "That was how they planned on getting him here."

"Makes sense," Takeru says. He looks around. "Where is everyone-?" he tries to ask, only to be defeated by their arrivals.

Michael and Yamato enter the room next, looking relatively at ease since last night. Yamato at once goes to Mimi, who smiles at him warmly. She and Michael kiss hello before Yamato steers her to a corner of the room for a private conversation. I watch them carefully, wondering what's going on, but there's nothing in their expressions to reveal anything urgent. Then I remember that Mimi has planned on announcing her pregnancy to everyone tonight. That must be what Yamato's asking her about.

Before I can ask Sora, Jyou arrives, looking exhausted. As a doctor, he's always on call for emergencies, and apparently, he got out of nasty one just barely in time to catch the train to make it here. But he looks pleased once he realizes that he's still early.

Which leaves Ken, Miyako, and Daisuke. And Taichi.

I frown. Taichi had better not miss this. He's weaseled himself out of enough of our gang's engagements. And he knows that Mimi's going to give her announcement today. He can't miss that.

Trying not to think about that, I relax with the others and try to mingle, enjoying a cocktail while we wait. Suddenly, Sora peers out the door and excitedly motions for us to hush, shutting the lights off. We crouch in the darkness, eyes bright with anticipation. The door opens and I can hear Miyako's nervous laughter. And then Daisuke's voice. My heart lurches up to my throat, recalling that voice. I gasp, forcing myself to remain absolutely still, holding my breath.

The lights flare on suddenly and we all jump up, "Surprise!"

My heart stops.

A beautiful girl, prettily dressed in a white summer gown, has her arm entwined with Daisuke's. I recognize her as the one I'd seen him with weeks ago at that café by the bookstore. Up close, I realize she's far more prettier than I'd thought. Her hair is natural, dark brown, curly and bouncy. Her eyes are wide and gray, full of laughter. But what gets me is the way Daisuke seems to fit so naturally with her. Like they were made to fit.

Everyone else looks surprised as well, and the silence in the room lingers too long.

Ken coughs. "Happy birthday," he says after a moment.

Daisuke finally blinks himself out of his daze. He laughs, running a hand through his hair. "Wow! I- sorry, I didn't- I never even imagined this-," he stammers, pleased.

Everyone seems more relaxed, noticing how happy he is about the party.

"As much as we hate to admit it, we actually do like you, mate," Takeru jokes.

Daisuke makes a face at him and the others laugh.

"Willis!" he exclaims after a moment, finally recognizing him. "Why are you here?"

"Why do you think?" his friend replies with a smirk. "I wouldn't miss your birthday, kid."

Daisuke's grin grows wider. "I can't believe all of you came just for me. This is great- the best day of my life!"

"That's a pretty pathetic life if _this_ is your best day," Takeru notes dryly.

"Hey, cut if out before you two get too emotional," Sora interrupts, smiling. "Happy birthday, Daisuke."

They each ramble through birthday wishes for the birthday boy, until it's my turn. Daiuske's grinning at me, but my tongue is frozen in my mouth. Miyako notices the pained look in my face and quickly intervenes, "Hikari, will you help me with the cake?"

Numbly, I nod, pulling away from the group, but not in time to hear Willis. "And who might you be?" He asks the girl kindly, grinning with delish charm.

She tightens her grip of Daisuke's arm and smiles shyly. "Agwara Sumiko."

"Well, Miss Agwara," Willis says, stepping forward to kiss her hand, "the pleasure is all mine."

"Hey, watch it, blondie." Daisuke pretends to glare at him. "That's my girlfriend."

Takeru glances at me, but I ignore it. Instead, I walk quickly to the other side of the room where the cake has been rolled out on a cart. Miyako stands next to me.

"Hikari-,"

"Don't," I whisper, shutting my eyes.

She looks sad, but respectfully says nothing.

Dinner is served as we all seat ourselves around a long table. Yamato sits in between Mimi and me, with Takeru across from me and Daisuke next to him. Sumiko is on Daisuke's other side. She shyly answers the group's questions, smiling at their teasing remarks. The one time I steal a numb glance at her, I see Daisuke lift his arm so that he can wrap it loosely over the back of her chair. I blink quickly and drop my gaze back to my plate. I'd been too nervous before to eat and now I'm not hungry anymore. Takeru watches me carefully, exchanging looks with Miyako who sits on his other side. But every time they try to speak to me in a low whisper, I find a way to avoid them, striking up conversation with Yamato or Willis or Jyou instead. I know what they're going to say and I don't want to listen to it now.

Sometime during the main course, Taichi sneaks in. He goes unnoticed by Daisuke for several minutes, but I notice him right away. I frown disapprovingly while he slips into the empty chair next to me, secretly glad that he's arrived so I have something else to distract myself with, so I don't have to think about Daisuke.

"Where have you been?"

"I came, didn't I?" is his reply.

"Taichi…" I start, but he shakes his head.

"Not now, Kari."

I pause. "What's wrong?" I ask, noticing the tense way he sets his jaw, his overly controlled movements.

He just shakes his head.

Giving up, I let it go. Dessert passes smoothly and afterwards we all leave the dining hall to travel outside to the restaurant porch. I can see why this place is so popular. The porch overlooks a small lake that sits close by, and tonight the air is warm and inviting, with dusk settling slowly over the horizon.

Shivering involuntarily as a breeze whistles through, I wrap my arms around me and watch the others mingle. I notice the way Mimi seems to grow more anxious, and I wonder if this is when the announcement will be made. Curious, I look around for Taichi, hoping he'll be involved in this, too, but I can't find him. He hadn't said a word all evening, though I've caught him on his cell phone twice already. He claimed it was an urgent call _from_ work, but I distinctly heard him dialing the second time.Growing more exasperated with my brother, I'm about to go look for him when Mimi suddenly clears her throat, calling everyone's attentions to her.

My mouth goes dry and I feel my heart pounding. I don't know why I'm so nervous, but I'm certainly not the only one. Sora and Miyako look rather sick as well, but they hide it better than me.

"Now that we're all together, which seems so rare these days, I have something to say," Mimi begins. Everyone grows silently, watching and waiting.

Mimi looks around, studying each expectant face. Her eyes stop once they reach the doorway, and I turn to see that Taichi has reappeared, holding a glass of wine, looking at anything but her. She pauses, looking pained, biting her lip. But then Yamato smiles at her reassuringly and she smiles back.

"I'm going to have a baby," she announces finally.

Everyone's staring at her. Her face is red. Finally, Takeru swallows down the rest of his drink in one huge gulp and raises his glass. "Happy birthday, Daisuke!"

We all laugh, the mood instantly changed, and Daisuke appears not to know what to think. He stammers, "But how- who is-?"

Mimi glances at Taichi, who's slouching against the wall and stabbing the olive in his wine glass repeatedly with a toothpick, totally bored. "I am," he says.

Koushiro's mouth falls open, but that's the only reaction I see. Everyone else is staring, too shocked to process the news just yet. I bite my lip, nervous.

"I didn't even- know you two were-," Jyou spits out, looking like he's swallowed something nasty.

"We aren't," Taichi interrupts shortly, not looking up.

Mimi looks away and shrugs, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans dress and smiles weakly to break the unsettling, awkward silence that follows. "I…."

Yamato suddenly steps forward, pushing his way towards her. He wraps an arm around her shoulder. "But we'll _all_ be the baby's family. We already are a family anyway. And like all big families, we have a new addition." He smiles confidently, though I notice how the smile doesn't reach his eyes. But then he blinks it away, making a pointed effort to avoid anything in Taichi's direction as he grins at everyone else, gesturing for them to start saying something so he won't be stuck rambling for the rest of the night.

"Congratulations, Mimi," Willis breaks the silence cheerily, shaking her hand.

We all take Willis's cue and jump in with our own words of surprise and pleasure, and twenty minutes are lost to that purpose alone. Iori says he wants to study Mimi for his thesis, but it takes her a while to figure out he's only teasing her. Koushiro gives Mimi a friendly hug while Jyou seems to still be trying to rationalize the shocking news, confused as ever. Everyone conveniently says nothing to Taichi, and he seems perfectly content with that, focused solely on butchering the olive in his glass.

Finally, Daisuke clears his throat, calling for attention as well. Yamato still has his arm around Mimi, but her expression is blank and hidden behind a fake smile. I wince, glancing at Taichi to shoot him a stern look of disapproval, hoping he would show some decency and go to her, talk to her- do _something_. But he won't look at me.

"Since we're on the subject of surprises," Daisuke says, grinning widely, "I have one of my own."

"Uh-oh," Takeru whistles lowly, inciting more laughter.

Miyako smiles. "I'd like to see you top Mimi and Taichi's," she jokes.

Sumiko laughs. Daisuke instinctively reaches for her hand.

"I'm getting married!"

Dead silence.

"Well, I'd say that qualifies," Willis mutters to a stunned Miyako.

"Don't everyone congratulate us all at once," Daisuke adds after a moment, his eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Us?" Iori repeats, shocked.

"Me," Sumiko smiles at him. "_We_ are getting married."

More silence.

"I asked her today," Daisuke goes on to stir up conversation, "and she graciously accepted. So I'm done with birthday presents, guys. Don't bother; I've got what I want."

"_Excellent_! I totally forgot to get you anything!" Takeru bursts out, throwing his arms open to grab Daisuke and Sumiko in an embrace.

"This is certainly unexpected," Koushiro says.

"Who'd have thought _you_ would be the first to get married…." Iori says.

"Carpe diem, Hida," Daisuke grins.

"And I'm not afraid to say that I will most likely never see a more gorgeous bride-to-be," Willis kisses Sumiko's hand. She blushes a little, pleased but embarrassed.

"Thank you," she says politely.

They all swarm the couple while I sneak out into the shadowed refuge of the restaurant banquet hall and lean against the back wall. I close my eyes, feeling the earth literally shifting beneath my feet. My knees threaten to give away, but the sting in my heart is what I focus on first. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, willing myself to remain calm, when I want nothing better to do than to disappear- anywhere- or maybe back to the sweet days of my youth when all he ever wanted was me. How could I have been so blind? How could I have let this happen, lose him so suddenly like this?

Someone's taken my arm now and is squeezing my shoulder reassuringly, holding me up when I feel like I'm going to collapse from the misery and the heartbreak and the hopelessness. Choking back a sob, I turn around and bury my face in Taichi's shirt, the top of my head barely reaching up to his shoulder. I grip his sleeves in both hands, shaking.

"Why does it have to hurt this much, Tai? Why does it have to hurt this much?"

He puts his arms around me and holds me close, not saying anything at all.

"I hate this," I sniff after a long time of just crying. "I hate having to care this much…."

"It's okay if you do," he whispers. "Nobody has to know."

I rub my face.

"But what if I don't want to?"

"You can't change that, Kari. But you can learn to deal with it."

I shake my head. "I don't want to deal with it. I just want it to go away."

He actually laughs, hugging me again. "So do I. But I think it would be too easy to just wish feelings away. We have to fight them."

I look up into his face. "What are you fighting, Tai?" I ask softly.

He smiles.

"Fate."

* * *


	12. Chapter 12: Mimi

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

"This," Madame Suichiro says, holding up the peanut, "is your baby." 

We are all sitting on mats on the floor, cross-legged and wide-eyed, regarding our aging instructor with a mixture of well deserved fear and awe. She fits the stereotypical depiction of a spinster perfectly, but she has in fact delivered three children (all happy, healthy, and either divorced or separated today; she cheerily points out) and has thus achieved a near goddess status in this first-time-mother class. Most of the other girls are as unprepared as I am. One or two appear more confident, but no one can keep from quivering in Madame Suichiro's presence. Not even the men. And yes, men do come to these sessions. Quite a number are in no way related to the conceiving of the child (we've had our share of supportive friends, brothers, and even one stepfather). At least, we all like to think no one is related, because it makes the idea of the class more personal.

It's ironic, really, because I say this with Taichi sitting right across from me on my mat.

How that happened, I have yet to figure out.

But this morning, when Sora had to cancel last minute on attending this class with me as she promised, Hikari suggested I ask Taichi to come instead. Now I know she's his sister and they're very close and she forgives him more easily than I do, but I highly doubt that one week after he completely abandoned me at Daisuke's birthday party, he would be any less willing to tarnish his public reputation by accompanying the mother of his child to a parenting course. It just wouldn't be in his character, right?

I mean, he was so cold and distant at the party that I was too much in shock to even yell at him. I just let him say those things, let everyone in the room think whatever they wanted because I was so suddenly aware of how alone I was that I could have honestly cared less what they were thinking about the two of us.

I only then came to realize the great gap that existed between me and Taichi. It's like a great divide, a separation masked by a friendship that wasn't what it used to be. When did that happen, though? I'm surprised. I thought we'd always been good friends. But that night, I realized I was wrong about us. I barely know him at all.

For if I even knew him a little bit, I wouldn't have been surprised by his sudden acceptance of the proposition. All Hikari had to do was call him and tell him what happened, and the next thing I know, he's studying breathing exercises and proper pre-natal nutrition habits with me.

Of course, he treats the entire situation like it's another simple, trivial, but mostly annoying appointment in his obviously full agenda. He hadn't even mentioned the party yet. In fact, we've barely spoken at all since the class started.

Right now, he's got that same bored look on his face, his right shoulder slouched into the wall. He has his world-famous black business suit, but he took off the jacket and is now sitting with his tie pulled loose over his blue dress shirt. We're sitting a little away from the others, which I'm glad for, because a few of the women keep shooting me looks of envy. I really don't see what they're so jealous of, though. I mean, I guess Taichi's pretty okay-looking, but honestly, they don't have to make it so _obvious_-

"Mimi!" Madame Suichiro barks.

I jump, blinking out of my reverie.

"Huh?"

I see Taichi roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye, and out of defiance, I set my jaw and hold out my hand for the teacher, who wisely chooses to ignore my lack of attention and continues the lecture.

She carefully places a peanut into my open palm. "Right now, your baby is developing vital organs and bone structure, growing rapidly. The baby is moving, experimenting, and reacting, but you can't feel the movement for another month yet. Be gentle, now," she instructs one of the other mothers, who, out of extreme nervousness, almost drops her peanut.

I cradle mine in my hands, cupping both palms together. Bringing it close to my chest protectively, I try to envision this little child inside of me right now, wondering how science could ever hope to explain something as beautiful and perfect as the formation of life.

Glancing up, I catch Taichi's gaze. He's staring hard at the little peanut in my hands, frowning skeptically, unconvinced and unmoved. With a small laugh, forgetting the mess of the past week and the fact that I'm supposed to be miffed with him as he is undoubtedly with me, I reach out and take his wrist. He tries to protest, pulling back, but I shake my head and scoot over to him on our mat. Carefully, I tuck the peanut into his palm, then smile shyly at him.

"See, Taichi," I whisper. "This is us."

He stares at it for a long time. I lean forward to touch my forehead to his, covering the peanut in his open palm with my hand.

"This is _us_."

He doesn't reply, staring at me so seriously and intensely I can barely hold his gaze. So I drop my eyes back to our hands, focusing on the way they seem to fit so perfectly together, the tiny peanut nuzzled protectively between our fingers.

And then, suddenly, I feel something in his gaze that I don't understand, something in the way his eyes are so focused on me now that I've never felt before. I look up sharply, slightly alarmed, but he immediately avoids me, pulling his hand back so suddenly, I have to grab the peanut with both hands to keep it from hitting the floor. I stare at him, my eyebrows knit in annoyance and surprise, but his cheeks are red and he won't look at me anymore. Before I can speak, the teacher interrupts, forcing us to abandon what just happened and pay attention to what's going to come.

The lesson continues, but I can't focus. My fingers are trembling; my hand still burning from his warm touch. I am totally confused. What was that? What even happened? Or am I just being overly paranoid and nothing happened, I'm just fooling myself? But why would I? I mean, it's not as though I _wanted_ to see anything, to make him feel anything. I know he doesn't. We're just friends. So what if we're going to have a kid together- a lot of people do that and they end up totally fine.

Of course, I realize, my eyes wide, a lot of people don't end up fine at all. A lot of them stop being friends; a lot of them leave each other.

Would Taichi ever leave me?

And the frightening thing about that question is the answer: I don't know.

I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.

I'm going insane. Why should I even be considering this? It's completely irrelevant. _Completely_.

It's not as though we-

_Oh, forget it!_ I smack myself in the forehead. _Get a grip, Mimi!_

Someone clears their throat, and my eyes snap open. Everyone in the class is staring at me, expectantly and worriedly. Even Madame Suichiro looks caught between being appalled and being curious.

"Is something the matter, Miss Tachikawa?" she asks airily.

I want to melt into a puddle and die.

Furiously fighting the impulse to point an accusatory finger at Taichi and declare him my problem, horrified that he might actually be my problem, terrified what that could mean, uncertain if it should even mean anything, desperate for this all to be a really, really, _really_ bad dream, I just shake my head meekly and avoid everyone's eyes for the rest of the class time.

"What happened in there?" Taichi asks me in a low mutter after the class is over and the students are heading out the door.

I can feel my ears slowly beginning to burn. I swallow the nervousness and snap back, "Why don't you tell me what was happening."

"What are you talking about? You're the one who got the teacher mad."

I glare at him. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You almost dropped our peanut!"

He stares.

"Our what, pardon?"

I stamp my foot. "Don't start on those stupid games of yours, Taichi! I'm not in the mood!"

"Oh, for God's sake, Mimi," he groans, "don't play the-emotional-pregnant-woman card on me. I'm not buying any of it." He pauses. "You're the one who wanted me to get more involved, remember? That's why I came with you in the first place."

I stalk out the door. "Well, next time, _don't_."

"I don't get it," he calls after me, frustrated. I stop, turning back. He looks grouchy, confused, and irritated. But most of all, I see the disappointment and tiredness in his expression. I stare back in total surprise. If anything, I'd say he seems even more exhausted than usual. What could he possibly be doing? He frowns hard at me, continuing, "First you want me involved, then you don't, then you do, and now you don't. What the hell do you want from me, Mimi? Am I just supposed to guess? What do you _want_ from me?"

"Nothing," I reply automatically.

He stares, and I blush.

"I mean…I thought you didn't want to do anything, anyway." I hesitate. "Didn't you?"

He shoves his hands into his pockets. "Forget it."

"No," I interrupt. "No, wait. Let's figure this out. Look, I'm really happy you came with me today, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that earlier. I just didn't expect you to agree, though I realize I shouldn't underestimate you as much as I do." I smile at him friendlily. "I just…I've just been really confused about our- our relationship lately, because sometimes it feels like…."

He looks down at the floor.

"Like what?" he asks quietly after a moment.

I shrug. "I don't know," I whisper.

He lifts his gaze to meet mine. I stare back nervously, uncertain but hopeful. For what, I don't know. But fact of the matter is, this is the closest we've gotten to a decent conversation since I first told him I was pregnant. Pretty pathetic, I know, but then again, with the way our lives have been lately, it's certainly not surprising.

He drops his voice to a whisper, too: "Mimi, I-,"

"There you are!"

We both turn, frozen, to see Sora standing in the doorway. She looks exasperated.

"I've been looking for you all day, Mimi," she says, walking up to me. "Your parents are at the apartment."

I feel like she slapped me.

"_What_?" I cry.

Sora's still annoyed. "They've been asking for you. They're all upset you're not answering your phone."

I'd turned it off for the class, but I guess I forgot to turn it back on. Groaning, I rub my face with my hands. "Do I have to face them?" I whine to her.

Sora rolls her eyes. "Well, considering your parents are there too, Taichi, I think the both of you should face them."

Now it's Taichi's turn to look horrified. "_What_?"

"Oh, this is perfect!" I burst out.

"If I were you, I'd get over there right now before it gets too violent," Sora warns.

Without another word, we all rush back to the apartment, just in time to witness a rather ugly fight between my father and Taichi's mother. Both are standing on opposite ends of the room, each supported by the respective spouse, all red in the face from constant bickering. Taichi shoves his way between them.

"Knock it off," he declares, interrupting the shouting.

My father's eyes bulge. "You! I told you to never come near my daughter again!"

"Oh, so now we're not good enough for your family, is that it? Are we too low-class for you?" Taichi's mother shouts back in her son's defense. Said son tries to intervene, but my father cries back,

"You're damn right he's not good enough! What does it say about the family when a boy runs around with different women just because he doesn't have enough decency to get married and find a suitable wife?"

"My family's just fine, thank you, and Taichi can have all the time in the world, if he wants!" Mr. Yagami retaliates.

"I did not raise my daughter so she can get involved with boys like that _thing_!" my mother declares, pointing a furious finger at Taichi.

"Mama, stop it!" I interrupt, desperate. I stop in between the two sets of parents, facing mine while Taichi faces his. "This isn't helping anything! I don't want you guys to fight!"

"Mimi, you're coming home with us right now!" my father demands.

I shake my head. "No! This is my home, and these are my friends. _Friends_, Papa. Taichi's my _friend_, and I'm not going to end that just because things got a little complicated-,"

"Little?" my mother repeats in disbelief. "Sweetheart, raising a child is not a _little_ matter. And you're just not ready for that kind of situation with a strong, stable man to support you!"

"She is most certainly ready!" Mr. Yagami says. My mother glares at him.

"What do you know about my daughter?"

"I know enough! I know that she's a bright young woman with a good future and a talented personality, and she will be wonderful no matter what this situation calls for her to do! I know that parents should trust their children, and sometimes that means letting them grow up and find out how to live on the own! _That's_ what I know!"

"Well, I know that parents shouldn't let their children make stupid, unnecessary mistakes," my mother responds.

I stare at her, "Is that what you think this is?"

She glances at me, eyebrow raised. "What?"

I straighten.

"Do you think this is a mistake? Do you think my _child_ is a _mistake_?"

Silence kills the moment. I can feel all eyes on me, all except Taichi, who still stands behind me. I move so our backs are touching, and, reaching down, I slip my fingers easily through his, holding his hand tight.

I shake my head.

"Because it's not," I whisper. "It's not, Mama, Papa. My baby's _not_ a mistake. Life and love are never mistakes. They are blessings. This," I take my hand- the one that holds Taichi's as well- and bring it against my belly, "is a blessing. And it's beautiful. Don't tell me this is a mistake, that we made a mistake. We didn't. We made _life_."

After a long moment, without another word, my mother and father leave the apartment in a huff. The door slams behind them. Sora lets out a sigh of relief. Then she comes over to pull me into a hug. It's awkward, because I don't let go of Taichi's hand while she embraces me. I can't. It's weird and strange, but I fell stronger when I feel his warmth in me. That, and I'm shaking so hard from confronting my parents that I need his and Sora's combined support to keep standing.

Both of them seem to notice this, and Sora takes one arm while Taichi keeps hold of my other. Mrs. Yagami comes forward and kisses my forehead.

"Oh, you poor dear. Of course, you made life," she says kindly. I smile weakly at her, feeling my legs turn to jello. She straightens suddenly. "You know what would make you feel better?"

"Mom," Taichi tries to interrupt, but she ignores him completely.

"A party!"

Sora looks skeptical. "I don't think-,"

"Just a small one," she defends. "Don't you think that's a good idea, Susumu?"

Mr. Yagami growls darkly. "How dare he call my son unsuitable…."

"Dad," Taichi says at the same time his mother whines, "Susumu!"

"Sure, he needs a good deal of work yet, but he's not _that_ unmarriageable…" the elder Yagami mutters.

"Don't worry about it, you two, I'll arrange everything," Mrs. Yagami decides.

Taichi looks as though he's in physical pain. "Mom, please-,"

"It won't be anything grand, honey, relax."

"There's no need-,"

"Of course there is! I'll set it for tomorrow night, and we'll invite all your friends and all their friends. You know, something to get your mind off things…. Where's Hikari, dear? She'll help me arrange, I know."

But Hikari turns out to be too busy, and so Mrs. Yagami literally plans the party out herself. She throws it in honor of herself and her husband and their wedding anniversary, which isn't even this month. I suspect she's really trying to give me something to distract me from my parents, but it doesn't work. All the rest of the day and the next day, I spend trying to get in touch with them, but I can't get them to answer their cell phones. I don't even know what hotel they're staying at. Which just makes it all ten times more worse. Oh, God, this is getting to be too much….

Only Koushiro, Jyou, Takeru, Hikari, Sora, Miyako, Ken, Willis, Taichi, and I can make it to Mrs. Yagami's sudden party, which she decides to hold right here in our apartment. I really don't want to come. I don't want anything to do with this, but there's nothing I can give as an excuse. And besides, I'd just feel too guilty about it. Mrs. Yagami genuinely seems to want to cheer me up, which is just so sweet of her, but all I seem to be able to think about are peanuts, parents, and the feel of Taichi's skin against mine when I leaned on him for support against my parents and he gave it to me, freely, willingly, protectively.

Oh, God, here I go again.

Wanting to smack myself again but fearing what that would look like to all the guests here, I instead try to focus on more important things. Takeru introduces me to his date, a pretty strawberry-blonde girl with a million-dollar smile, but I can't remember her name because I feel so distracted. Ashamed, I weasel myself out of conversation with them and hang out with Koushiro and Jyou.

Surprisingly early, Taichi arrives with the dessert. And I don't mean just food. The first thing I notice when he steps into the apartment is the blonde wig on a stick that's glued to his free arm (the other is balancing a cake from the bakery). She's hanging all over him, giggling at everything he says, her excessively long eyelashes batting and her heavily powdered face trapped in a picture-perfect smile. Or maybe that's the only expression that comes with the make up she's plastered onto herself. Her blouse is far too tight, the neck of which is buttoned low enough to expose cleavage while still claiming to be a real shirt. And that atrocious skirt-

"Mimi, can I get your help with this?" Miyako's voice calls out.

Realizing that I've been clutching my glass hard enough to break, I immediately set it down on the table and go to my friend. She needs help filling the bucket of ice on the beverage table. Noticing the look on my face, she asks me if I'm feeling all right, a question pregnant women must really get sick of way too soon. But before I can assure her of my health, we're interrupted by a shrill sound that resembles a strangled bird's dying wail. Everyone freezes, cringing, and turns to see the blonde bimbo laughing hysterically at something only she could find funny, since everyone around her has stopped being amused to stare at her, wondering if this is a cry for help.

I turn away, sorely tempted to fix myself a dry martini, and catch Sora's eye. She gives me a look and pretends to vomit, and I bite my tongue to keep from laughing. I know what she's thinking: it would have been less painful if the ditz had just run her manicured fingernails on a chalkboard.

Thankfully, Mr. and Mrs. Yagami then appear to speak a few words about their happiness for being so close to their children during this happy time. Cheers from the guests force an embarrassed Taichi and Hikari to the front of the room, and both stand there awkwardly while Mrs. Yagami rambles for quite some time about the happiness of those couples and friends who find the true love despite all the curve balls life throws at them. She keeps smiling at me throughout her speech and I smile back respectfully, until something hits me like a slap across the face.

She's trying to hook me up with Taichi.

Gasping, I clap a hand over my mouth.

Sora frowns, alarmed.

"Are you all right?" she whispers, leaning over.

Mrs. Yagami's talking about how people we least expect to favor fall into our lives so suddenly but conveniently, and how we must all take advantage of that to help secure our own happiness.

I shake my head violently.

Sora tries to say something else, but I dive for the bathroom and hide in there for the rest of Mrs. Yagami's speech, too horrified to decide whether to laugh or cry. Now I know the Yagamis don't expect Taichi to ever settle down, but these hints have got to be implying something. They don't honestly think that just because we're going to have a kid means we'll start a relationship, do they? Because that would just be for all the wrong reasons, and I can't even imagine doing that when that's the whole reason why I broke it off with Yamato last week in the first place! Starting again would just-

_Again?_ a small voice in my head questions. _Since when did it start before? You and Taichi were never anything but friends who shared a bed once in a while. _I pause. _Though, granted, it was a friendly, very good kind of sharing…but that's not the point! The point is this is ridiculous!_

Taking a deep breath, I try to collect myself.

Of course, that's not what Mrs. Yagami meant. She and her husband have already made it very clear that they don't care what happens, as long as the baby's healthy and happy and they get to be proud grandparents. The only problem there is that they are apparently mortal enemies with the baby's other set of grandparents. That's the problem I should be focusing on now, not this stupid Taichi thing, which should be non-existant anyway. _And it is. So there, stupid voice_, I declare victoriously.

Feeling much better, I step out of the bathroom with the intent of calling my parents again to try and talk to them, but am stopped by Taichi, who has apparently been lingering by the bathroom since I locked myself in, holding a half-full champagne glass.

What the hell-? What is with him showing up everywhere now? What is this? This isn't supposed to happen!

_What are you complaining about?_ the little voice returns with honeyed venom. _Isn't seeing him what you wanted anyway? To "feel his warmth" and all that other crap you were swooning over? And don't tell _me_ it's just hormones._

_Shut up!_

"I haven't even said anything," Taichi retorts, offended.

I blush, horrified. "No, not you, I meant- oh forget it, never mind."

"Wait," he grabs me by the wrist. I stop, turning to look at him curiously. "I mean, sorry," he lets go quickly. "I just…." He trails off, shifting uncomfortably.

Not wanting to let it end that way, I look around and spot Taichi's date across the room.

"She seems nice," I manage to say after a while.

We both glance at the subject in question, wincing at the same time when another one of her killer giggles escapes her perfectly painted lips, thoroughly alarming Koushiro- who'd been kind enough to pity her with an attempt of conversation. The redhead is saved by good ol' Jyou, who swoops in and whisks his friend away before further damage can be done.

Taichi downs the rest of his champagne. I laugh, covering up my smile with my hand, hoping his date won't see. Not that she'd be able to figure out I'm laughing at her, of course, but one can never be too careful.

"I had no choice," Taichi says. He seems much more relaxed, more at ease, and I commend myself for a good tactic of changing subjects so quickly. This is how it should be. This is how it used to be. Just him and me, laughing about stupid things. "She invited herself, and I was too preoccupied with this new business deal at work to pay attention to what I'd done until it was too late," he explained. "It was my fault for mentioning the party within her earshot."

I smile. "You shouldn't be that harsh on her."

"Probably not," he admitted.

"That's what you're friends are for, anyway," I add. "Judging your significant others."

"She's not my significant other."

"Oh, that's right," I snap my fingers. I grin at him slyly, teasingly. "The _great_ Yagami Taichi doesn't find significance in anyone. He would _never_ stoop so low."

He's smiling back at me, but when he doesn't reply with his usual playfully sarcastic retort, I open my mouth to shoot another one at him. Only he stops me, not by words, but by the way he looks at me. There's that unfamiliar expression in deep chocolate brown eyes that I can't name, back again, and it's suddenly the only thing I see. And then he drops his gaze and stretches out his hand to touch his fingers carefully, tenderly to my stomach.

His voice is soft, "You have never been more beautiful."

I freeze, rooted to the spot, staring up into his face with my breath caught in my throat.

His hand slowly trails up my waist and arm, brushing across my shoulder. When I open my mouth to say something, he presses his fingers over my lips to stop me. He smiles distractedly, as though he is almost afraid of my reaction. Then he steps closer, until I can feel his warm breath on my face, look straight up to meet his steady, powerful stare, notice how his hand trembles slightly as he strokes my cheek.

"Mimi, I-,"

"Tai, baby!"

His hand drops immediately and he practically lurches away from me, just in time to trip backwards into the bimbo's open arms. "Let's go, honey," she purrs, licking his neck. "I cannot _wait_ to get you home-,"

And apparently she really can't, for she starts undoing his tie right there, reaching for the buttons of his dress shirt.

He grabs her wrist and pulls her off him, turning his face away when she tries to kiss him. She stamps her foot whiningly. "Baby, come on," she begs, taking his collar in her hands and yanking him down for the deepest open-mouthed kiss I've ever seen. It's a wonder they don't swallow each other's tongues.

Turning, I flee into the kitchen, ignoring the teasing catcalls of the onlookers, rushing past Miyako, who glances at me sympathetically, not returning Sora's worried gaze, blocking out Hikari's voice as she calls my name.

I'm not mad, and I'm not going to cry.

And I honestly could care less.

I know when I'm not wanted.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13: Miyako

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

Now, Ken says he understands, but I'm never sure. 

Sometimes, he'll get real quiet and watch TV or read when there's an opportunity to talk about how much of an idiot I am, but it's like he's trying to avoid it. When I bring _that_ up, he gets really apologetic and tells me he's fine, he's just got a lot of extra work to do at his job and it's getting to him. Then I suggest trying to talk about it so he won't stress so much, but then he gets really macho and says he can handle it, relax, go back to bed.

I think I might have single-handedly killed this relationship.

Oh, God, what am I going to do?

I mean, sure, people have been talking about us like we'll be around forever. We're the 'it' couple. For goodness's sake, _Hikari_ even told me once that she wished she had what Ken and I have. And I'm really flattered by that, and I know I'm really lucky, but I never wanted to be one of those impatient brides. I mean, moving in with Ken was hard enough to handle! Marrying him? Oh, I don't know, maybe sometime in the future, but who knows? Do I want it? Of course, I do. He's beautiful, he's amazing, he's everything I ever wanted and I think it's so incredible he thinks the same thing about me of all people. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Don't I?

Of course.

But….

But, if we're this perfect, if everyone thinks that about us, then what's taking so long?

Or am I just being selfish?

Fact is, yes, I _want_ to get married. Yes, I dream about it and I like to fantasize and wonder and hope, just like any girl. But more importantly, I just want to _be_ with Ken.

So, really, I'm all for taking the cautionary route. Marriage is just- God, that's like an insurance policy for relationships. Like I've got it guaranteed in writing that that he'll be mine always, unless something- God forbid- happens. And I know that he'll be with me no matter if we have it legalized or not. I don't care if it isn't. I really don't.

This is what I want to tell him, but he never seems to be free long enough to discuss it. So is he avoiding me? What _does_ he think about us?

Oh, God, I can't handle this anymore. This is way, way too much. I'm going insane. I need chocolate.

But I've got other things to deal with, too.

Since Willis came, he's been crashing in our spare bedroom at our apartment. Now I don't mind this at all, because I love that he's here and I hardly ever get to see him. But still, that's one more person making home life more hectic, meaning Ken and I have even less time to talk than usual. Usually, Willis will snag him up for sightseeing trips or other macho activities. Then I'm stuck here with Hikari or Sora whoever's willing to listen to me rant.

And Hikari- I don't know what to make of her.

When Daisuke made his announcement, I could have killed him right there.

But for Hikari's sake, I restrained myself, though I could tell by the look Takeru gave me after the party was over that he would have gladly assisted in any homicide arrangements. I had lunch with Takeru the day after, and we both agreed that Hikari should talk about this. I mean, we know that Hikari's never vocalized anything even remotely similar to having feelings for Daisuke, but there are some things you just know about a person. Especially a person who's your best friend and whose heart has just been torn out, ripped, crushed, and dumped in ice water.

I wish she would at least talk about it. She hasn't said a word since it happened. Not one. In fact, though she's come over some times for dinner or just to hang out, she mostly just spends her time at her school or in her bedroom working for something for her school. Seriously, I'm kind of worried. This obsessive nature is only natural in Taichi's work-ethic. Though they may be siblings, I don't want that to be one of their similarities. For all I know, Hikari could be the next one in our group to start distancing herself, working late, living alone, and trying to make it up in whirlwind romances that barely last the night. Although, that's quite silly, because Hikari would never do something like that. Never.

But, to be fair, Taichi _does_ seem to be putting forth a new effort to try and look like he cares. At least, when it comes to Mimi.

He's not doing so well, though.

He managed to tear himself away from that freaky blonde date of his just in time to keep her from undressing him right there in the middle of the party, but when he chased Mimi down into the kitchen to talk to her, she wouldn't let him. I don't blame her. What was he thinking, bringing another woman to that party? I mean, I know Taichi and Mimi aren't serious in a romantic way, but he could have at least had the decency to inform her about his other personal affairs instead of just slapping it in front of her like that. Just the look on her face as she ran away from him- God, that would have killed me if I had known I'd made her that upset.

Later, after the party ended, I heard him trying to talk to her again, but she just laughed and cheerily told him not to be such a spoilsport and ruin his parents' party talking about stupid things. He stood there for a moment, totally surprised, and I'll admit it, I snuck in a little closer to eavesdrop. Turned out I shouldn't have bothered; he was interrupted again when the blonde bimbo wandered into the kitchen to complain about his awful treatment of her. So he said goodbye to me, Sora, and Hikari, but Mimi conveniently slipped out of the room before he could try talking to her again. He just sort of gave up after that, but as soon as he was gone, Sora demanded to know what he'd said to Mimi.

Mimi herself just smirked and replied that nothing happened, they'd just been talking before she had another one of those nausea attacks and had to hurry into the kitchen.

Then Sora told Mimi to shut up and grow up, but Mimi just shook her head.

"Tell me," Sora demanded again. "He said something, I know it. I saw you two talking, and it wasn't one of those trivial, conversational things. I know it wasn't."

"It was just some stuff about the baby-," she tried to dismiss, but Sora shook her head violently.

"Mimi-,"

But she wouldn't hear anything else on the matter. She can be seriously stubborn sometimes. Since then, she's been back to normal.

Well, as normal as mood swings will allow.

I do know that Mr. Yagami has set up shop in my old bedroom at their flat. He showed Hikari and me the designs a few days ago. It's going to be really cute. I barely recognize my room from the drawings. And Mimi's even more relieved: having Mr. Yagami around working on the baby's room is keeping her parents away as well. Then a few days ago, they saw through the trap and called her on it. Now, they've demanded she help them relocate to their newly rented Tokyo apartment. At least it's not very close to the girls' flat. Unfortunately, it's close to mine.

Which is why, today, even though the'yre close, I'm still totally surprised when the doorbell rings and I see Mrs. Tachikawa there, wrapped up in an expensive coat and looking irritable.

"Satoe!" I force a smile. "What a pleasant-,"

"May I use your telephone?" she interrupts briskly.

"Ah, sure," I show her the cordless and she flashes me a quick smile. Scooting towards the window, she dials a number and waits rather impatiently for a minute. And then:

"Are you sure you've got it down right?"

I stare at her, curious.

She pauses, "No, no. Let's go with the first. All right." A longer pause. "It doesn't matter when, really, but I won't allow this to continue forever. It's better to deal with it as soon as possible. Yes, I agree. No, actually, Keisuke thinks the way I do- on this at least. But we both agree that-," she breaks off and purses her lips. "I know, I know. Well, thank you for all your help. You'll let me know as soon as you can, won't you?" She smiles widely. "Thank you, very much. It's certainly a pleasure."

Then she hangs up, smiling broadly at me.

"How are you, dear Miyako?" she asks.

Caught off guard, I'm tongue-tied for a moment. "Well-,"

"You know, that color looks absolutely gorgeous on you," she squeals, admiring my sea-green skirt.

I look down at it, bewildered. "Uh, thanks."

"I always tell Mimi she should stick with light tones, but she insists on those awful earth tones instead." She makes a face. "Of course, my daughter couldn't possibly look bad in anything, naturally, but still. I wish she's put more of effort in those things. First impressions are everything, you know. Don't you think?"

"I-,"

"Oh, look at the time!" She claps her hand and shakes her head. "I really ought to be going. I have an appointment with an interior decorator in a half hour, and traffic is absolutely dreadful today." She rushes to the door, but then pauses, looking back at me. "Oh, and one more thing, Miyako, dear."

"Yes?"

"Keisuke and I are arranging a little something for our sweet princess," she smiles. "I was hoping that I might ask you for a little assistance?"

"Sure," I say, still recovering.

"Wonderful! We're planning for it to be held in three weeks. I'll be back with details, all right?"

I just nod and smile. Satoe beams. "It's lovely seeing you again, dear. Keep in touch!"

And then she's gone.

Okay, what the heck even happened?

Before I can even gather myself again, the doorbell rings and Hikari enters. She throws me a quizzical look. "Was that-?"

"Yeah."

"What was she doing here?"

I shrug. "I don't know. She asked to use the phone, and then she got all bubbly. She mentioned something about arranging a surprise for Mimi, but I'm not quite sure what that was even about. She was talking way too fast."

Hikari raised an eyebrow. "I suppose we'll find out in due time. I'm actually here to see if you want to come nursery shopping with me and my mother tomorrow. Dad's ahead of schedule with the remodeling, and he wants us to look at matching furniture."

"Doesn't Mimi want to come?"

Hikari winces.

"Mimi's in another one of her moods. Taichi's been harassing her with phone calls, and she literally tore the phone cord out of the wall."

I blink.

"Okay, I don't know whether to be more shocked that she would react so violently or that _Taichi_ called."

She smiles.

"I talked to him once when Mimi made me pretend she wasn't there. Only he wouldn't tell me what was going on. He just says he feels like he has to clear things up with her. I don't know…I can't figure out what's going on between them."

"I always thought nothing was."

"Well, if that were the case, my father wouldn't be turning your bedroom into a nursery…."

I smile. "Don't you think it's funny, though?"

She looks at me strangely. "What?"

"I mean, the fact that Mimi and Taichi are going to have a baby. _Mimi _and_ Taichi_. I can't think of any other two people who fit so strangely and yet…work. Think about it: when we were all in college, I bet none of us had any idea that those two would end up having a kid together. I just think it's funny- odd, really."

She shrugs.

"I guess."

I frown at her.

"You okay?"

She smiles. "Don't start, Miyako."

I lower my voice.

"Hikari, you can't just pretend it never happened."

"I'm not," she replies, just as quietly. Then she sighs. "I just- there's no point in fussing over it."

"That doesn't mean you should just keep it all inside."

She looks down at her shoes, biting her lip.

"I'm still trying to make sense out of it," she admits after a long moment. "I thought…. I mean, since we'd been starting to spend more time together, I thought- I don't know. I don't know what I've been thinking. It's ridiculous. I'm being ridiculous." Then she sighs loudly. "But it's not like moping's going to help. I've got things to get done first. Now-,"

"Hikari," I interrupt exasperatedly. "Will you please just put aside all the things you think you have to do and focus on yourself for a minute? You're hurting. You can't just expect that to heal on its own."

But she's shaking her head.

"Hikari," I start to try again.

"Miyako, please don't make me deal with this now," she begs softly. "I don't want this. Please."

I shut my eyes.

"Fine. But you can't get away with this forever."

She only smiles. "Maybe I can, maybe I can't."

Saddened, I watch her for a moment, before shaking my head. She interrupts me: "Do you want to get something to eat? I'm hungry."

"Sure," I give in, giving up.

She excuses herself to freshen up in the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Ken, Willis, and Daisuke enter the apartment. I'm about to go out of my mind. What is with all these visitors? I suppose my distress must have been evident on my face, because suddenly Ken looks guilty and Willis looks concerned.

"You okay, Miyako?" he asks.

"We'll only be a few minutes," Ken explains. "Willis had to pick something up."

"Traveler's checks," the blonde clarifies. He goes to his bedroom to sort through his suitcase and Ken goes to the kitchen to fix them some quick coffee. Which leaves me with Daisuke.

Feeling morbid, I size him up carefully, angrily.

He doesn't seem to notice.

Keeping my voice low, I move closer to him to whisper, "What was that all about then, Daisuke?"

He frowns at me. "What are you talking about?"

I sigh. "We had a deal, didn't we? I wouldn't tell Taichi about your breach of trust and you'd take Hikari out once in a while."

"I did," he protests. "And I had a really good time. I missed hanging out with her. Just because I'm engaged now doesn't mean that's going to stop. I know I've been busy lately, but I was planning on taking her out again sometime next week, honest."

I stamp my foot.

"That's not the point!"

"What are you talking about, Miyako?" he looks annoyed. "I did what you wanted, didn't I? What else do you want me to do?"

"Oh, why'd you have to go ruin everything?"

"Doing what?" he exclaims, confused. "What did I do wrong?"

"You got engaged, you idiot!" I finally burst out.

He gapes at me. "What the hell are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're stupid for rushing into something like this when you've only been seeing that girl for a fewmonths. And you didn't even bother consulting any of us first. What are friends for if you won't include them in major life decisions?"

His jaw drops. "Hey, it's my life, okay? I love that girl! If I want to marry her, I will! I don't see what the problem is! And I don't see why you're making it your business what I do with my personal life! Being friends doesn't mean taking control of each other's agendas! And for that matter, go ahead and tell Taichi whatever the hell you want! I don't care anymore! Just stay the hell out of my business!"

And with that, he stomps to the door and slams it shut behind him.

Still fuming, I turn around and see Willis giving me an odd look. He must have returned to the living room in the middle of the fight. He opens his mouth to say something, but I hold up my hand to show him I don't want to talk about it. He shrugs, understanding, and is about to go to the door and go after Daisuke, when suddenly we both turn to see Hikari standing not too far away. He freezes and I stop dead.

Hikari's staring at me from the hallway, her face pale.

"What was he saying?"

"Nothing," I say quickly, panicking. "We just had a fight. Like always-,"

"What was he saying, Miyako?" she repeats in a dangerously low voice.

I shut my eyes. "Hikari, wait, before you-,"

"You told him to take me out?" she interrupts.

"It's not what you think-,"

"You told him to do that?" she whispers.

I hang my head, ashamed. "Hikari…."

She's staring at me in utter disbelief. "All this time, I thought he- you mean to tell me it wasn't even his idea? He was just- he was doing you a favor? I was just part of your deal?"

"I just wanted to help you," I offer weakly.

"You didn't," she replies. She shakes her head. "You didn't, Miyako."

"Hikari, wait. Please, let me explain-,"

"Don't talk to me," she interrupts suddenly, walking to the door.

"Hikari!"

"I- I need some time to think about this," she stammers, her voice breaking.

"Hikari, I didn't know it would turn out like this-,"

But she just shakes her head again and, refusing to look at me, leaves the apartment. Without another word, Willis pulls on his jacket and goes after her. I stare at the closed door, helpless. Oh God, this can't be happening. What have I done?

* * *


	14. Chapter 14: Sora

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

Okay. 

I don't know what surprised me more: finding out that Miyako had actually "hired" Daisuke to renew his friendship with Hikari and thereby mislead her into thinking the wrong thing about their relationship, thus crushing her heart into a million pieces when he turned around and announced his engagement to what's-her-name; or that Hikari, upon discovering the arrangement, was so distraught and confused and hurt and humiliated that she "accidentally" slept with Willis.

And in our apartment, no less.

Now I can't walk through the living room without feeling chills.

All right, so I'm exaggerating. But I've got the right to.

Once, the other girls and I went for a vacation spree in northern Japan but Mimi had to stay behind for café business (the food critics and the official from the health department), and not until almost a year later did we discover that Mimi and Yamato had had sex nearly all over the apartment while we were gone. Hikari freaked and scrubbed down the entire flat. Now _she's_ the one who-

Oh, God, I can't think about it.

Although, Willis is quite a catch. I mean, it must have been good. What, with the evidence left behind…. Okay, okay. Stop thinking about it.

Anyway, Hikari- probably only now realizing what she's done- won't get out of bed. I can't tell if she's embarrassed or mortified or still depressed about Daisuke.

And she won't talk about it to me or Mimi.

I mean, Hikari and I haven't had much time to get very close recently, and though Mimi's pregnant with her future nephew or niece, they've each been busy a lot lately too. Only Miyako knows her very, very well (they _are_ best friends) but that's obviously not going to happen after the Daisuke catastrophe. So I don't know what to do with her. I can't go in and wake her up because I don't know if she needs time alone first or not (I'm basing that off my experiences with Mimi, who, whenever she used to come back from her one-night stands with Taichi, she'd get really guilty and emotional and need her space to agonize over her pathetic weakness before being ready to talk about it). So that's what I'm going with. After all, if I was Hikari, I'd probably want time to realize just what the hell I was thinking using Willis like that.

I wonder if Willis knows the whole story.

More importantly, I wonder if he cares….

I mean, he seemed totally fine when I stumbled into the kitchen to fix myself some coffee and found him there instead, having already made a fresh pot and cheerily handing me a cup. It took me a minute to realize he had no key and I hadn't let him in last night, but when he went back into Hikari's bedroom and then came out again carrying his jacket and belt and hopping around on one foot while trying to put on his shoes, it finally hit me.

I ran to see Hikari, but she was still buried under the covers, fast asleep, her room the messiest I've seen since she and Takeru were dating years and years ago (must be something to do with blondes). I ran back out to demand to know what the hell happened but Willis interrupted by saying he'd promised he would go see this famous temple with Ken and he was running late but that Hikari could call if she wanted, but not because she felt she had to or anything.

All I kept thinking was, Holy shit, Taichi's going to kill him.

It's a really good thing that Willis works and lives in America. The farther away from the psychotic older brother, the better. Of course, Hikari won't say anything to Taichi, Mimi's too irked to even say Taichi's name, and I sure won't utter a single word, so everything should be just fine. Hopefully, we can get Willis back out of the country before something else happens.

But still, I mean, who knows, maybe guys don't care about reasons for sex, but Hikari's not the kind of girl to take things that serious so lightly. And she wouldn't go to such an extreme without a really desperate reason. And it definitely had to be desperate if she was willing to sleep with a guy who lives an entire ocean away and can therefore never get involved in a relationship.

This is not like Hikari at all.

And that's why I'm worried.

Peeking into her room again when I come home for lunch, I find that she's still there. I figured she wouldn't go to work today since she and Willis slept in that morning anyway, so I went ahead and called her school for her. Now, she's sitting up her bed (her room tidied up, thankfully), looking through the wedding albums her mother and father had for her. I didn't know she still kept them.

Smiling lightly, I go over and sit on the edge of her bed.

"Hey," I say.

She smiles back tiredly. "Hi."

"What are you doing?"

"Just looking," she whispers. She pauses at the section on bridal gowns. "I did something really stupid last night, didn't I, Sora?"

"Well," I sigh, "that's really an opinion only you can make, but I'd agree with it. Do you want to talk about it…?"

"Not really."

I shrug. "Okay. That's fine." I pause. "Then do you want to talk about-?"

"Sumiko called me this morning."

I stop, staring. Why does that name sound so familiar?

Hikari goes on, "She said Daisuke's always talking about me and that she wants to get to know me and you guys. She was wondering if I wanted to help her go shopping later. You know, for wedding things."

My eyes widen. "That little-,"

"She doesn't know anything about Daisuke and me, Sora. Not even Daisuke knows about it," Hikari adds after a moment.

I frown.

"Still. You didn't say yes, did you?"

"No. But I didn't say no, either. I kind of just avoided answering."

"But you can't seriously be considering it, can you?"

She doesn't answer.

"Hikari," I start, "you don't have to have anything to do with them until you think you're ready. And I don't think you should do anything else before you tell Daisuke how you feel-,"

"He's getting married, Sora. _Married_," she repeats for emphasis. She shakes her head. "And I- I have no right to tell him anything."

Slouching, I sit back. "You know," I say, "Miyako called this morning, too, while you were still sleeping." Hikari doesn't respond. I let it go, chewing my bottom lip. I know how hard it is to get into a fight with your best friend. Mimi and I have gone through enough battles and silent treatments and yelling matches. But then again, neither of us have done anything like this before.

I stand. "I have to get back to work. Is there anything else I can get you?"

She shakes her head. "I think I'm going out later, anyway. I'm having a late lunch with Takeru to settle some things for my classes. He's helping me with one of my fieldtrips."

"Okay. Well, you know how to call me."

She smiles good-bye.

I leave a few minutes later to head back to my fashion studio. The new prints we've gotten from Europe came in while I was gone, and now my team is all in a big bustle trying to cover all the basics. I'm not too sure how I feel about some of these designs. Usually, we have a good international team that pull through with creative new pieces, but this batch is disappointing to say the least. I don't know, maybe it's just me and my messed up life. Although, I really don't have as many distractions as the other girls do. Come to think of it, relative to theirs, my life is unforgivably dull.

Funny…. I'm supposed to be involved in one of the most exciting, up-to-date careers of this age. My life as a fashion designer makes me the most traveled in our group, and I know I've seen things and rubbed shoulders with several well-established names. And yet nothing exciting ever happens to me. I don't know. Maybe I'm not pushing for anything. maybe I've just come to expect a certain lifestyle, a certain routine that's too sheltering. Maybe I need to get out and do something. But what? Get married like Miyako? Have a baby like Mimi? Fall in and out of love like Hikari?

What's left for me?

"Hey, Sora!"

Startled, I look up and see my sales manager glaring at me from my office door. I sit up quickly, looking guilty.

"Rioshi! Sorry, I was-,"

"-off in La-la-land, I know," he interrupts, annoyed. "Focus for me for one second, will you?"

Sighing, I nod. "Sure. What's going on?"

"The European prints are good to go. We're settling to hire this new photographer for the magazine; he's been recommended by the same people who sent those designs. Can you pick him up from the airport this evening?"

My jaw drops.

"_Now_? You tell me this _now_?"

"I said this evening."

"Rioshi! I'm tired! I don't want to drive all the way to the-,"

"Take a cab," he recommends simply.

I shake my head exasperatedly. "You're insane. Unless a bonus is involved, I'm not going anywhere but home."

"Wait, did I forget to mention his name?"

"Rioshi-,"

"Georg von Holstern."

I stop, my eyes wide. "Holstern?" I squeak. "You got _Holstern_ to shoot for us?"

He smiles slyly. "Only because we showed him some of your designs."

My head's spinning. Holstern is arguably the most sought after fashion photographer in the business. He's been around for twenty, almost thirty years now, an old pro, and having his name even remotely linked to a company will double that company's earnings and popularity practically overnight. But wait-

"_My_ designs?"

"He likes your work, Sora." He pauses, his grin widening. "He wants to work with you."

I just stare at his gloating face, my mind utterly empty of thought and emotion.

Rioshi laughs. "I thought that'd be how you'd react. But while you're letting it sink in, get yourself over to the airport right after you sign out today. Treat him somewhere nice, anywhere- it'll be on our company's bills, so don't worry about price. Show him around if you'd like, though he's been to Japan before. And then you'll have to drop him at his hotel and make arrangements for his schedule this week. Bottom line: wherever he goes, Sora, there you will be also. Got it?"

I feel weak. "Sure…."

"Congratulations, kid," he smiles before leaving me to my astonishment.

Whoa. What just happened? Did I hear everything right? The leading man in fashion photography wants to work with _my_ designs? He actually _likes_ them? Somebody's noticed _my_ work? And not just any somebody- the Somebody of all somebodies. Oh my God, I must be dreaming.

Sinking back in my chair, I sit there for several minutes, unconscious of the time, only aware of the amazing-ness of the moment. This really can't be happening. Not to me, at least. I mean- since when has anyone complimented my work? And to be hand-picked by Georg von Holstern himself? _Oh, please don't let this be a dream_, I beg silently. I'm so excited I can feel my whole body quivering. Unable to stop from breaking out into obnoxiously big smiles, I fumble for my phone to call Mimi.

She answers after the third ring, sounding frustrated. I can hear loud noises the background, the sound of Huan's voice filtering over hers as she speaks hurriedly and impatiently.

"What is it?" she snaps quickly.

I'm so happy I choose to ignore the irritable note in her voice. Gripping onto the desk to keep from falling out of my chair, I lean forward and whisper excitedly, "You'll never guess what, Mimi."

"I'm not in the mood for guessing games, Sora."

Again, I ignore it. "Georg von Holstern is coming to Japan just to work with me. _Me_, can you believe it? He's seen my designs and he wants to use them! Can you believe it? Can you?"

I can practically hear her frowning.

"Who?"

"Holstern. You know, the famous fashion photographer."

The long pause tells me that I'd be better off speaking to a brick wall.

"He did last month's _Vogue_ cover I showed you."

She gasps. "Oh! Him! Oh, wow- oh my God, Sora! This is great!"

"Isn't it? I can't believe it at all! I'm still waiting for Rioshi to walk back in and tell me he's joking-,"

"Oh, don't say that. Don't talk about yourself like that. You're a great designer, and you know it. It's about time people start recognizing it."

I grin.

"Thanks, Mi. Listen, I also wanted to tell you that I have to pick him up from the airport later. I'm going to show him around a bit, take him out to eat, and then drop him at his hotel. So just so you guys know, I'll be in real late tonight, so don't wait up or anything-,"

"Wait, what? You're taking him out to eat, you said?"

"Well, the man _is_ mortal. He's got to eat something."

She ignores the joke. Suddenly, I realize what her hesitant pause means. "Oh, Mimi, I don't know-,"

"But it's perfect! If Holstern comes to my café, it could be just the kind of publicity to get business back and flowing! Sora, you've got to bring him here!"

"But-,"

"Oh, please say you will. It'll mean so much to me. Huan says we've been doing really badly lately and I can't think of anything else. Maybe a celebrity guest will be just the thing. You don't want me to go bankrupt, do you?"

I sigh. "Of course, I don't. You know that."

"Then can't you do this one favor for me?" She adds when I don't reply right away, "I'll make dinner myself. Everything. I'll go all out. Huan will help, too. I swear to you it will be the best dinner of Holstern's life."

I can't help but smile. "All right."

She squeals, "Really?"

"Of course, really."

"You won't regret this, Sora. I promise."

"All right, all right, don't get all emotional on me now. Just get started. We'll be there by seven."

"Perfect! See you then!"

Well, I guess dinner's settled then. Although, Mimi's café is a good place to go anyway. Besides, since he is coming off a ridiculously long flight, he won't want anything heavy. A nice, light dinner is just the ticket, and Huan and Mimi's cooking is a good choice. Not to mention that I won't look like an idiot trying to read a complicated menu like I probably would have had I taken him to a special, fancy restaurant.

So as soon as my work is done, I take a cab over to the airport, nervous but ready. Holstern is the last one off the plane, and he carries nothing but a simple brown leather briefcase. His eyes are masked by a pair of dark sunglasses, and his beard and sideburns are immaculately trimmed. He's dressed in a fine Italian suit, looking suave and dashing even though he's probably old enough to be my father. But there's something about the way he holds himself, the way he angles his jaw and moves as he walks (or rather, glides) across the floor that just grabs your attention.

I'm so dazed by the sight of him that it takes me a moment to recover my senses. I quickly rush towards him, holding out my hand.

"Mr. Holstern, I'm Takenouchi Sora."

He looks my up and down.

"Pleasure," he greets in a thick German accent, kissing me swiftly on the back of my hand. I can't believe I'm this close to genius. I can't believe I just spent this morning complaining about why nothing exciting ever happens to me. I mean, look at me now. Look at _this_! This is so great!

"I, uh, I wanted- that is, I heard you-,"

"You're the girl with those designs?"

"Um-,"

"Excellent. I like your style. Very simple, very good. We will begin soon."

I want to swoon. _He likes my_ _style!_

"Um-," I stutter, blushing with pride and embarrassment, "-are you hungry? We can discuss over dinner-,"

"Yes, yes. Let's go."

And he rushes off to baggage claim, moving so suddenly it takes me a minute to figure out he's gone. I catch up with him quickly though (he's quite easy to spot in that Italian suite, after all; how many people walk around Japan with that on?) and all through the ride back he spouts off his opinions about the designs and my styles and the way he wants to capture them. I try to focus and keep up with him, but honestly, I'm still stuck on the fact that I'm about to have dinner with Georg von Holstern, the god of fashion photography. I feel like I should be kissing his feet for favors or something. Oh, I must seem like a complete idiot to him stammering and blushing like an amateur. Fact of the matter is, I actually have a lot of ideas myself how I want my designs to be photographed, and I think they're good ideas, too. But I just can't seem to get it out.

Finally, we pull up by the curb where the Mimi's café is located. Georg takes one look at the place and wrinkles his nose incredulously. "What is this?"

"My friend's restaurant," I answer swiftly. "I thought, since your flight was so long, you'd appreciate a simple, quieter environment."

He says nothing, frowning at the place. I worry that I've done something stupid, but it's too late now. Biting my lip, I pray that Mimi's preparing dishes straight from heaven's kitchen itself, and with that I lead him inside.

He looks incredibly out of place with his Italian suit, whereas the rest of the customers are dressed very casually. But no one pays any attention to us. We wait a moment for the waitress, who finally arrives and whisks us into a corner booth by the windows. Depositing two menus on our table, she disappears, and we wait for nearly fifteen minutes before she comes back. By then, I can see how annoyed he is on his face. He taps his fingers on the table, frowning disapprovingly, glancing repeatedly at his watch. I'm starting to realize that I've shot down my opportunity of a lifetime before I even had a chance to have it played out completely. But I try to remain positive, keeping my panic on the minimum as I engage him in several business conversations to get his mind off the fact that the service so far has been unusually terrible. I have no idea what's going on. I keep glancing at the kitchen door, wondering if I should just find a way to go in and see for myself if there's a problem. But nothing happens.

Finally, the waitress returns to take our orders. With a sigh of relief, I sit back after she leaves for the kitchen and he starts to ask me questions about my ideas. I find that he's actually very interested in what I have to say. This is refreshingly new: in years past, I've had photographers who'll take my designs and turn them into something completely different based on their own interpretations, but Holstern seems to at least be willing to listen to what I have to say. That makes me even more excited, and I tell him my plans as we wait.

I'm in the middle of describing my newest project when Mimi enters the sitting area carrying two trays of homemade pasta. Behind her is Huan, who holds a bowl of tossed salad. They approach us with bright smiles. Mimi winks at me.

"Fresh garden salad," she says, pointing to the dish Huan places on the table before us, "and our house special for tonight," she adds gesturing to the pasta she sets before Holstern. "It's a new fettuccini style pasta we're trying out. I hope you-,"

"Do that again," he interrupts, staring at her, perfectly still.

She blinks at him, confused. "Do what?"

"What you did with those dishes. Put them back on the table."

Mimi looks at me, alarmed. I motion for her to obey him, curious myself. So with a shrug, she picks up the pasta plates, pauses, and puts them back on the table.

"You mean this?" she asks.

Holstern takes off his sunglasses. He's gazing at Mimi adoringly. "Yes, he breathes, mouth parted in awe.

Mimi stares back doubtfully, unsure of herself. "Um-,"

"Who are you?"

"This is Tachikawa Mimi, a very close friend of mine," I introduce. "She owns this café."

"Does she?" he murmurs, staring at her unblinkingly.

Mimi looks unnerved now, fidgeting under his gaze.

"I should probably be heading back to the kitchen-," she starts to say, but he suddenly leans forward and grabs her hand.

"Do you model?"

"Who, me?" Mimi asks, shocked. "Well, no- I mean-,"

"Never?"

"Well, there were a few shots I did when I was in grade school, but-,"

"Sora, don't you think she'd be beautiful for your designs? I think I could work with her."

Mimi's eyes are huge. "Oh, I don't think that's a-,"

"Really?" I interrupt. "I hadn't thought of it."

"Why not? She's perfect! My dear, you must let me shoot you," he tells her.

"I must _what_?" she yelps.

"Photography, I mean. I want to take pictures of you."

"Me?" she repeats, astonished.

"Will you?"

"I-,"

"Of course she will," I volunteer her eagerly. Mimi stares at me, her jaw almost to the floor, as if to ask, _What the hell are you doing?_ But I give her a look, begging her to be quite and go along with me. She has to agree. This is Holstern. This is a chance of a lifetime. And if I had to bring him to her café to save her business, then she'll have to model some pictures for Holstern to save my career. It's only fair. "She'd love to. Wouldn't you, Mimi?"

"I don't think I'm in a condition to-,"

I shake my head. "You're not even showing yet."

"Almost! I couldn't fit into my favorite jeans this morning! It's staring to happen!"

Holstern straightens, comprehension dawning. "You're pregnant?"

Mimi blushes madly.

I want to roll my eyes, smack myself in the head. _Please don't let this be ruined_, I pray. "It doesn't matter. I'll do some alterations so you can fit into the dresses. You'll be fine."

"I don't know," Mimi bites her lip.

"Don't," Holstern suddenly says. We both stare at him, confused. He turns to me. "Don't alter your dresses. I'm envisioning a new idea. A style of modern, classy wear- even elegant evening wear- specifically for soon-to-be-mothers. It'll be a new special, with designs by Takenouchi Sora and endorsed by my private company-,"

I choke on my water.

"You- you'll endorse me?" I sputter.

He smiles for the first time that evening. "Only if you'll say yes."

"Then yes! Yes, I'll design your new line! Of course I will!"

"Wonderful," he snaps his fingers. "And this girl will be my first model."

Mimi jumps a little when he gestures to her. She shakes her head violently. "Oh, I don't know-,"

I look at her pleadingly. "Mimi, please?"

She looks exasperated, anxious. "I can't model-,"

"You're a woman with child," Holstern says gently, kindly. "You're a model for all of us."

She sighs after a long moment. "Oh, all right. I'll do it for Sora."

I jump out of my seat and throw my arms around her. "Thank you so much, Mi!" I whisper into her ear. "You won't regret it."

"Sora, I'll do anything for you, you know that."

Holstern chuckles as he adds, "That's good to hear, because I just got a better idea, one to help with the marketing campaigning. But do not worry. I'll only ask for shots from the waist up, to show off your belly and breasts."

Mimi freezes, her eyes huge.

"_Sora_!"

* * *


	15. Chapter 15: Hikari

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

When I woke up that morning and felt him next to me, I was certain I was still dreaming. A part of me knew I hadn't, that everything that happened last night was true and real and unforgettable in more than one way, but I still desperately wanted it to be a lie, a dream, because then I wouldn't have had to open my eyes and see the way he looked at me. It wasn't sad, but it wasn't happy either. It was an expression I can't even name, but the look in his deep, beautiful blue eyes haunts me even now, nearly a week afterwards.

But when he saw that I was awake, he blinked the unfamiliar look away and his signature mischievous, casual smirk returned to light up his face. He grinned at me, rolling over on his stomach, shutting his eyes.

"Don't mind me. I'm just being too lazy to get up," he said with a laugh. "It comes with being American."

I stared at him groggily, still vaguely confused. I felt sticky, sweaty, and exhausted all over. But it was a pleasant sort of body aching, and as I stretched myself out, it all suddenly came back to me. I froze, horrified, my eyes wide. He noticed that expression and looked amused with himself.

"Well, I didn't think I was _that_ bad-,"

"Oh my God," I gasped, sitting up. My blankets fell away and I grabbed for them, rolling myself up to cover my naked body.

He laughed at me, "It's a bit late for modesty now, I'm afraid."

"Oh my God," I repeated with a groan. I covered my face with my hands. "Oh, Christ, Willis-,"

"Ah, don't apologize. That was probably the most interesting night I'll have my entire trip. I tell you, Japan may be rich with culture, but it just gets so damn boring sometimes. Then again, I don't exactly have the longest attention span. I get tired with things easily. That's probably why I can't stay in one place, or at one job, or even with one woman too long, anyway." He smiled at me kindly. "Coffee?"

I sank beneath the covers, wanting to die from the humiliation. He patted my head like one would a child. "Don't worry, kid. I'm not one to kiss and tell."

And then he was gone, and then I was so mortified I pretended to be asleep when Sora came in later, and then I avoided talking to her and I never did say goodbye to him when he came back to get the rest of his clothes and purposely hesitated, waiting, but I didn't open my eyes. I haven't seen him since. I still can't believe I used him like that, that I let myself go that far. What's happening to me?

Pacing around my empty classroom now, I'm busying myself with little things so I can get home late and avoid Sora's knowing stare. I know she's right, that I should talk about it, but I know she's going to tell me to talk to Willis, too, but I don't know if I can yet. I mean, I've _never_ done anything like that before. I don't think I can even _face_ him (which is why I'm secretly relieved Miyako and I still aren't speaking, so I won't have to go over and risk running into him).

And speaking of Miyako, she hasn't called me since Sora said she had last week. I haven't seen her at all since. And I know that if we were still on speaking terms, she'd say everything right to help me about this Willis issue, but I can't let myself go to her. I haven't decided how I feel about what she did. I know she thought she was doing something helpful, but I'm really tired of her and Takeru's attempts to "help" me. Maybe I do need help, but can't they wait until I ask for it? And it doesn't matter what reasoning she had; that's no excuse. Granted, she couldn't have known that Daisuke would get engaged, but she should have told me the truth right off from the start. This- this just makes it all hurt more. Much more.

I stop pacing and glance at the clock. It's almost five, but I'm not ready to leave.

Besides, the apartment will be empty if I go back now. When Holstern or whatever his name is hired Sora to design a new line of clothes for him, her group at work has been working her very hard. They're so excited about the new possibilities that they're giving her anything she wants so she can get those prints done in time for Holstern to start shooting. In the mean time, he's taken to photographing Mimi for a few preliminary shots. And more than a few require her to be undressed.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that, but it'll be really good for Sora's career, and Mimi seems to be clinging to this one small fact every time Holstern asks her to take off another piece of clothing. I went to one photo shoot with her, and even I was starting to get uncomfortable. Holstern kept telling her to look natural and casual, but she kept shaking so much his pictures turn out too fuzzy. I could tell he was getting annoyed, but he still seems determined to use Mimi. So unfortunately, she's stuck posing nude for a German photographer just so Sora, as a fashion designer, can finally get the credit she deserves.

The things friends do for each other….

I remember when we told Takeru, Koushiro, and Jyou about it, and they sort of looked at Mimi strangely.

And a bit too long.

She got really embarrassed and yelled at them before rushing off to hide in the kitchen, and Jyou made a pointed effort to avoid anything in her direction while Koushiro's ears remained pink for the rest of the evening. Takeru, on the other hand, told Mimi he thought she was very sweet to literally take it all off just because she cared about Sora so much, and then he told Sora that he'd be happy to help in the same capacity if Holstern need a male counterpart to close the deal. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

I smile to myself, remembering the look on Sora and Mimi's faces as the others broke out into laughter.

My cell phone rings then, startling me out of my daydreaming, and I quickly head towards it, waiting to see what the caller ID says before I answer. I'm surprised to see Yamato's name flashing. I know he had to go back to the recording studio shortly after Daisuke's birthday party, but I hadn't expected to hear from him this soon again.

I answer curiously, "Hello?"

"Hey, Kari. Is this a bad time?"

"Uh-uh. Something on your mind?"

"Something suspicious," he answers wryly. "I just got off the phone with Mimi's mother."

"Really?" I lean against my desk, frowning as I listen. "What did she want?"

"Apparently, she's arranging something for Mimi in a couple of weeks, and she wanted to check my schedule to see if I could make it. I was wondering if she'd talked to you, too."

"Actually, no. I can check with Sora, but she hasn't mentioned anything to either of us as far as I know."

"Yeah, I know. I called Sora earlier and said the same thing. I don't know if I should be worried or not."

"Well, it can't be _that_ bad, can it?"

There's a long silence.

I sigh, "Okay, it _could_ be that bad."

Yamato laughs. "Look, it's probably nothing at all. I just wanted to know if anyone had a clue what this surprise was. You know Mimi isn't that big of a fan of surprises."

"Yeah…. Sorry, Yamato, I didn't even know about this until right now."

"Hope I haven't given anything away," he adds guiltily.

I smile.

"So how's the new album going?"

"Eh, it's going," he answers lamely. "I don't know. Lately, I haven't had much inspiration. Everything just feels off. I can't focus at all."

"I know what you mean," I mutter.

"Something wrong?" he asks sincerely.

"Oh, nothing. I mean, not really. I just- everything's coming really fast now, what with work and the kids and life in general. You understand."

"'Course. But so you know, you shouldn't keep things inside. It's not healthy."

"I'm perfectly fine, Yamato, honest. If you want to argue that opinion, try it on Taichi, not me."

There's another short, hesitant pause. "Uh, yeah, about Taichi-,"

"I know about your fight, relax. You don't have to say anything. As much as I love him, he probably deserved it."

"Or maybe it was just my stupid jealousy…."

"We didn't tell Mimi, if that's what you're getting at."

"Thanks. I tried to talk to him at the party but it didn't work out. I'm thinking even if I call him, he won't answer, you know, out of spite or something."

"Yeah, well, even Taichi doesn't keep grudges that long. His memory's too short."

Yamato chuckles. "Probably."

"You know," I suggest, "you could at least try calling him. At the very least, he might get around to calling you back later."

"And the odds of that happening are…?"

"I know, I know. But he's actually been acting kind of funny lately. Who knows what he could do next?"

"Why, did something bad happen to his precious company?"

I grin into the phone.

"Not exactly. I think he and Mimi had another fight, but I'm not really sure. Whatever it was, he's been trying to talk to her and she won't give him the time of day."

"Ah. What happened?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Mimi won't say a word. Taichi just gets irritated if you ask, so I stopped bothering him about it. The way I see it, this could be good for him. You know, teach him a thing or two about how to handle a woman's emotions, especially a woman who's pregnant."

"I didn't know they were having problems."

"I know," I laugh. "My mother's always saying they're the kind of couple that act like one but don't want to be one."

Yamato doesn't reply.

My eyes widen as I realize what I said. I slap myself on the forehead, straightening. "Oh, God, Yamato, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that-,"

"It doesn't matter, Hikari-,"

"No, no, it does. I'm really sorry. You know I'd never say something like that-,"

"But you did," he interrupts softly, "and I'm glad you did."

I stop, confused. "What?"

He sighs. "Mimi and I are over, Kari. I know that, I've known it, I keep telling myself that all the time. It's just- it takes a while to sink in, you know? I still have to catch my breath when I hear her name. But I'm getting better, and I've got to move on somehow. It's better this way."

I'm quiet, listening to him.

"Hikari?"

"Yamato, can I tell you a secret?" I say suddenly.

"Uh-,"

"It's just something that I've been trying to deny for years and I just- I have to let it now or I'm literally going to burst. I can't handle this alone anymore."

"Then you're sure you want to tell _me_?" he asks in disbelief. "I mean, we're not exactly-,"

"It's kind of along the same lines of what you're going through."

He pauses, "Then, sure. I'm here for you."

I take a deep breath.

"I know what you mean about- about Mimi. Um, that is…. I- I still have to catch my breath whenever I hear his name- Daisuke's name. I know- I know it makes no sense, but I've always thought that he was mine. I'm not trying to be selfish or shallow, I just- we used to be such good friends, and he used to come to me for anything and I don't know…. I guess I got used to that. I looked forward to seeing him, talking to him. I don't know how it happened, but one day my feelings changed and I- I was always too scared to tell him. And now…. Now I really messed it up." I sigh again. "I really messed up…."

"Whoa," Yamato says softly after a long moment. "When you say a secret, you really mean a secret."

I laugh, but it's forced, and I know he can hear it. Feeling the corners of my eyes prick, I sit down suddenly and clench my free hand in my lap, biting my bottom lip. I thought it'd feel better if I just admitted it to myself, but I was so wrong. It just makes me want to cry all the more. What am I even doing? Yamato's not even one of my closest friends. And for God's sake, he's a _guy_. I close my eyes, frowning.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I even told you this-,"

"No, don't do that," Yamato interrupts quickly. "You should never feel sorry for saying what you mean."

"Maybe I didn't mean it-,"

"Hikari…."

"I'm crazy. I'm going crazy-,"

"Hikari-,"

"I have to go," I start to say.

"Wait, listen to me. Look, I don't know what's going on between you two, but if you feel like this, don't you think you ought to tell him?"

I sigh. "That's what everyone keeps telling me."

"Maybe because everyone's right."

"I don't…know…. Oh, I feel stupid. I hate being spontaneous like this, I can't handle this-,"

"Well, it's your call. I can't tell you what to do, only what I would do if I were you."

_And you did, but you lost her, too._

I blink, surprised by the thoughts. I shut my eyes.

"You know," he begins slowly, "whatever you decide to do, just remember I'm here, okay? I kind of get the feeling that we're in the same boat here. And I wouldn't mind the company."

I had to smile at the idea. It's like we're starting a support group or something. _Hi, my name's Hikari and it's been two weeks since my I let the love of my life walk out the door_.

"I don't know, Yamato. I never- I didn't mean to say anything. I just let myself get carried away…. It's really nothing. I mean, I'm a lot better than I sound, honest."

"It's not me you have to convince, Kari. It's yourself," he says quietly.

I don't reply. He coughs.

"Well, I should probably get back to work. I have some new songs to go over and my manager's about to hyperventilate over there in the corner." I know he's trying to make me feel better, trying to lighten the suddenly darker mood, but I can only manage a tiny smile I know he can't see. He hesitates when I still don't respond. "I'll see you later, Hikari."

"Okay."

"And…good luck."

"Thanks, Yamato."

He says good-bye and we hang up. I sit in my chair, clutching the phone in my hands, staring dejectedly at my desk.

I cannot believe I told him all that. Did I really think he'd understand? I mean, I know he's trying to move past his relationship with Mimi, but that's completely different than my situation. At least he had Mimi for a little while. What do I have?

I rub my hands over my eyes, trying to massage away my headache.

These have really been a strange few weeks.

Oh, God, I don't know how much more I can take.

"Hikari?"

Starting, I sit up straight and open my eyes wide.

I have to catch my breath, looking at him.

"Daisuke!"

He smiles hesitantly. "All right if I come in?"

"I- um- that is…" I stammer, my heart pounding. Why me? _Why_? Just someone please tell me _why_?

He grins again and slips inside the room, going over to lean on one of the student desks, his hands in his pockets. He's come straight from work, I can tell. He still has his business suit on, but no tie. And though he's tired and his hair's a mess and he slumps with fatigue, I can't find anything wrong with him right now. I catch myself staring too long and I quickly rise to my feet, lingering at my desk, confused.

"Is something wrong?" I ask tentatively, aware of how high my voice sounds. I clear my throat, but he doesn't seem to notice.

He shakes his head. "Not really. I just…I didn't feel like going straight home just yet."

"Oh."

He looks around the room.

"How're the kids?"

"Good," I say quickly, warning myself not to speak to fast. I have a tendency to do that when I'm nervous. But I seriously can't think straight right now. How could this be happening to me? "We're going on a fieldtrip to the green house next week. They're really…looking forward to that…."

He smirks. "Man, what I wouldn't give to be back in grade school again. Life was so much simpler."

I smile on instinct, feeling my stomach do flip-flops. Silence settles for a few moments, and I can't get what Yamato said out of my mind.

But I can't tell Daisuke. I just can't. I _can't_.

I shouldn't.

I have absolutely _no_ right to do this.

Daisuke's happy with Sumiko, isn't he? How can I just ruin that for him? How can I be that cruel, that selfish? It didn't matter what happened to me.

I can't hurt Daisuke. That would make it even worse. I just _know_ it would.

Wouldn't it?

"Hikari," he interrupts suddenly, staring hard at the floor.

I look at him, anxious. "Yes?"

He hesitates. "You don't…do you think I'm rushing into this?"

My heart skips a beat.

"Into what?" I whisper.

"This…wedding. I don't know…. I've been- I've been thinking a lot lately, and- I don't know…" he trails off. Then he shakes his head. "It's just, everyone's telling me I'm rushing into this blindly. I know that's what they think. Even my own parents. Even _Jun_. And the other day, Jun told me- well, basically, it came out that she thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life. And that makes me angry, you know? It's _my_ life. No one else can tell me what to do. And yet- I can't stop thinking about what Jun meant…." He looks at me anxiously. "Do you think she's right?"

I can barely breathe. "Daisuke…."

"No, don't answer." He slouches. "Maybe it's just cold feet. I mean, I'm happy. I'm excited. I know this is what I want. At least, I'm pretty sure…."

I quietly, slowly make my way over to him, sitting on the student desk beside him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly.

He doesn't reply, still staring at the ground.

"Daisuke?"

"Are you happy for me, Hikari?" he asks suddenly.

I stare at him. "Of course, I am, Daisuke-,"

"Tell me the truth," he interrupts firmly, looking at me seriously.

I stare back at him, my mouth dry. I can't stop my hands from shaking, so I make them into fists in my lap.

"I am," I say.

"Look, you're one of my best friends, Kari. I want us to stay that way, and that's why I need you to listen to me."

"I _am_ listening," I insist. "I _am_ happy."

He stares at me silently.

"You told Sumiko no, didn't you? About your shopping trip?"

I look away.

"I'm really busy right now-,"

"Yeah, I can see that," he interrupts coldly. Shocked, I meet his gaze, surprised. I open my mouth to defend myself, but then I stop, recognizing the hurt in his eyes. That surprises me even more.

"Daisuke, I never said yes or no. I just told her it was a bad time. I can go later, but-,"

"But this is happening now, Hikari," he says quietly. "Sumiko wants to be friends. That's all she wants. You could have just been honest with her, instead of leaving it hanging like that. She's been worrying about it ever since. She doesn't think-," he cuts himself off suddenly. He shakes his head, looking away.

Before I can explain, he goes on:

"I know Sumiko's not part of our group, but she can be if you'll just give her the chance. And she wants to be friends with all of you guys. She's really trying. But she thinks that none of you are really putting any effort in returning that interest of friendship. She's tried arranging lunch dates with Miyako, but Miyako won't pull through. I know you and she made some kind of plan for something, but I haven't heard anything. Iori doesn't even live here, Takeru's always busy, and Willis- well, he's the only one who's got the time, but he's leaving for America in two weeks. And if you guys would just give her the chance, you'd see what I see in her. I hate having to come home and find out Sumiko spent the day alone again. She's trying really hard, but it's just- nothing's working out. Can you tell me what she's doing wrong?"

I bite my lip. "Nothing," I say quietly. "She's doing everything right."

"Then why do you keep pushing her away?" he asks me directly, staring straight into my eyes now. "Why are you guys making this even harder for her, when you know how much she just wants to be a part of the group?"

I can't answer him. I can't, not when he's looking at me like this. Not without telling him what I've been trying to deny for the past few years. And look where that's gotten me.

"I didn't know it was upsetting her that much. I didn't mean anything by it, I swear."

He says nothing.

"I'm sorry, Daisuke," I repeat earnestly.

"Me, too, Kari," he replies just as softly. "But I can't just ignore this anymore. She's my fiancée. I'm not going to lose her over something like this. Making Sumiko happy is more important to me than pleasing the rest of you. That's just the way it is from now on. There's nothing else."

_Yes, there is_, I think. _There's me._

"So will you try to like her, try to be friends, Kari? If you do, then the rest of them will," he points out. He studies me hopefully. "Please? Take her out, go shopping, at least meet her for coffee or give her a call. Anything. Please, Hikari? I need you to do this for me."

I want to cry so badly it hurts just as much as he's hurting me now, but I only choke back a sob and manage, "Then- then you care for her that much?" I ask, not knowing why I do. Of course he does. He wouldn't do this to me if he didn't. It wouldn't hurt as much if he didn't.

"Yes." And then the smile is back on his face, as though he's recalling memories. "She's a lot like you, you know. There's just…there's something beautiful about her. I don't know what. And I love the way she makes me laugh," he grins sheepishly, like a shy lover.

"She must be great for you."

"She's perfect for me."

I grow absolutely still, not daring to breathe.

"She's perfect for me," he repeats to himself, softer. He's forgotten me now, staring down at his hands in thought, a small smile on his lips. I stare at that smile, at his mouth, mesmerized. He glances up at me and smiles again.

I kiss him.

"I'm sorry, Daisuke," I whisper, looking into his wide mahogany eyes, "but I don't agree."

* * *


	16. Chapter 16: Mimi

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

I have this secret dread that this could be the beginning of the end. 

You know, that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you just know something bad is about to happen, but you don't know what? That's exactly how I feel. I don't know what to think. I'm just nervous and edgy all the time.

The other day, I actually _snapped_ at Huan.

_Huan_.

Big, teddy-bear, lovable _Huan_.

I was mortified, but he insisted he was used to it; he and his wife have gone through three pregnancies. Still, I'm not too sure it's entirely the fault of my hormones. I don't know. I'm just suddenly afraid I'm going to lose something. And that doesn't even make any sense.

To make it worse, my café's doing badly. We just can't seem to get enough revenue. I don't know how it happened; one day, all of a sudden, business started going down. We blamed it on the seasons, but the weather's getting better now and business hasn't picked up yet like it should have. That new restaurant across the street is booming, and other smaller chains are thriving as well. But we aren't.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to pay for all the expenses this month. I mean, we can stay afloat for a while longer, but I doubt the bank will put up with this for very long. Which means I have to start cutting back. Salaries, materials, maybe even workers. Oh, but I can't lay off my staff. They've been with me so long, they're practically family. I can't possibly let them go.

But I honestly don't know how I can keep them either.

I've been worrying about this for a week now, staying later and later at the café to go over all the options I have. But it's not working and I can't think of anything. So with a very tired sigh, I lock up and head home.

Sora and Hikari are already asleep, their bedroom doors closed. The only light comes from the kitchen lamp, and as I set my purse and jacket down, I pick up the traces of soft music playing somewhere in the apartment. Curious, I follow the source to Miyako's old bedroom, which is going through renovations thanks to Hikari's father. It's turning into the cutest baby's nursery and I love to watch him work on it, helping when I can. Smiling, I peek inside to see if he's accidentally left the music on.

Instead, I'm surprised to see Mr. Yagami still there. Currently, he's sashaying around the room to Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me," which plays barely audibly from the portable CD player in the corner. Just the sight of him with his imaginary dancer makes me laugh, and I quickly clamp a hand over my mouth, horrified that the giggle slipped out so loudly. He doesn't even stop. Grinning mischievously, he holds out his hand.

"May I have this dance, Miss Tachikawa?" he asks airily, bowing for added effect.

I shake my head.

"Mr. Yagami-,"

"Ah, ah," he interrupts, wagging a finger disapprovingly. "That's 'Susumu' to you."

I smile. "It's late. You should go home."

"I will, I will." He still holds out his hand.

With an exaggerated sigh, I allow him to whisk me into his arms and twirl me through the room. He pulls me close, holding me gently but firmly, singing along to the music. As the chorus sounds again, he spins me out, twirling me back in, and waltzing me towards the window.

Mr. Yagami's been here since the beginning of the week. Ever since he retired (and he was very eager to do so, considering how much money his son rakes in yearly), he's turned into the kind of man who obsesses over temporary projects to occupy his time, according to Hikari, or the kind of husband who needs a healthy, purely moral break from his wife every now and then, according to Mr. Yagami himself.

At the very least, the baby's nursery is coming along beautiful. He has it designed so that the crib lies right by the window. The walls are blue with yellow baby rabbits stenciled around the top for a ribbon effect. The drapes are a light yellow with white lace trim, and he's also planning on adding a rocking chair, a bookshelf, and one of those diaper-changing-station-contraptions. It's such a sweet design. I absolutely love it.

And it's kind of nice having him around. He definitely knows how to liven up a room. He doesn't mind me lingering over his shoulder wanting a conversation, and to see him interacting with Hikari is really sweet. Of course, she seems to be busier lately. She's arranging a fieldtrip to the greenhouse with her kids, but she's running into some conflicts with the school board. Something about chaperones or parents' permission or whatever. I told her I'd be happy to help, even come along if she needs it. She's already told her superiors that I've agreed to come to help monitor the kids, and that Takeru will as well, if he's really needed, but there's still some red tape to get through first.

I don't know why I even agreed to go with her on that fieldtrip. That is, I don't mind children, but only during certain ages. I know, that sounds awful coming from a soon-to-be mother, but it's the truth. That's why I've taken to my pregnancy class religiously. We're moving past labor exercises and physical therapy and into what to expect when the baby's born. It's incredibly daunting. I feel exhausted just walking out of the room when the class is done. Unfortunately, my mother's decided to start coming with me. As if the class wasn't fun enough already.

But, my teacher's always preaching about positive thinking. She says that if I get angry or upset or scared, that I should just stop, breathe, sort out my thoughts, and think positively as I address the situation. Granted, the philosophy's made me very slow when it comes to thinking/acting, but at least it works. Besides, I've found that if I start to think about something too much, I get that nervous, can't-breathe-or-think-for-the-life-of-me feeling. So to avoid that, I'm trying to stay positive.

For example, those photo shoots with what's-his-name Holstern. Granted, he's a freaky German guy, but he treats me nicely and he seems to know what he's doing. Plus, Sora's so excited about this new venture of hers that I should be just as happy helping her out.

See?

Thinking positive.

If I stay like this, I don't have to think about what my parents will do to me when they happen upon the latest fashion magazine and find me in my birthday suit, for all the world to see.

But, hey, it's for a good cause, right?

Wait-

What if my _kid_ sees them? What is sometime in the far future he or she is given a history project by some stupid teacher and he or she goes back into my family history to do research or something and he or she comes across this old magazine and discover me, his or her mother, _parading_ herself-

Oh, God. Oh God oh God…. Why me? Whatever possessed me to-?

_No. Stop, Mimi. Think positive. Just breathe, just breathe…._

"Something the matter?"

I blink out of my daze and look up into Mr. Yagami's concerned gaze. I blush deeply.

"Oh- no, I'm fine. I was just…thinking."

"Care to share?" he smiles kindly. He really is so sweet. A little bit on the crazy side, but all in all, very well-meaning. I can see where Hikari gets it all.

I smile back, tentatively. "Do you…do you think I'll make a good mother?"

He glances at me, slowing us down to a lazy waltz. "I can't tell you that, Mimi. There's no such thing as the perfect family; mine is proof enough of that. All I know is that if you really try, you can make anything come true." Then he winks. "Besides, at least _you_ can cook."

I giggle. The CD switches to another slow track, and Mr. Yagami snaps his fingers to the music, bobbing his head.

"This one's real good," he tells me, pulling me into the steps of a basic swing dance.

"I really like how it's coming out," I tell him, admiring the room. "It's beautiful."

"It's for you," he replies easily. "Beautiful it must be to compete with you." He pauses. "Not that it has much of a shot."

I grin. "I think I see why Mrs. Yagami married you, now."

"My irresistible charm?"

"And your unrivaled elegance."

"Don't forget my natural grace."

"Your enviable style."

"Unmatchable poise." He pulls me in and dips me back, "And, of course, my attractive personality."

"Assuming one uses the term very loosely," a new voice declares in amusement.

Still dipped in Mr. Yagami's arms, I crane my neck to see an upside-down Taichi leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest and a smug smirk on his lips. His father gently pulls me back up, moving me around the room to the music.

"Your mother sent you, didn't she?"

"She says you never came home for dinner," his son replies.

Mr. Yagami makes a face. "Unless it's _my_ mother's cooking, I'm not budging."

"I ordered take-out," Taichi says.

Mr. Yagami plants a kiss on the top of my head and flies to the door. "You do your old man proud, Taichi!" he calls as he races to the door. He yells goodbye from the hallway and lets himself out.

I cannot believe _he_ is here.

How the hell did he get in? Did I leave the door open? Was it unlocked? Is God trying to send me to an early grave?

Turning away, I switch the CD player off. "Looking for Hikari?" I manage to ask, forcing myself to sound as though I could care less if he were. And I really could. I'm not pretending. Not one itsy little bit. And certainly not for _him_.

He replies just as carelessly, "Is she here?"

"She's sleeping," I say icily.

"Then no, I am not looking for Hikari."

I roll my eyes.

"What are you doing here, Taichi?"

"Well, since your phone's disconnected, you're never at your café during the usual hours, and you're hardly at home during the day, this seemed the only way to get in contact with you."

I purse my lips, frowning disapprovingly at him, sending him all the negative vibes I can muster. I announce matter-of-factly, "I have to go to bed. Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

He smiles. "No, because you'll be avoiding me tomorrow, too. Mimi, I want to talk."

"Fine." I cross my arms over my chest, irritated. "Talk."

He's quiet for a moment, as though he's taken aback by my willingness to respond and can't decide how to treat the situation yet. And then, "Are you hungry?"

I stop, staring. "What?"

He is unaffected, never missing a beat.

"Are you hungry?"

"Well, a little, but-,"

He jerks his head to the door. "Then come on."

"What?"

"Let's go."

I shoot him a look. "Taichi, it's almost _midnight_."

"So?"

"We both have work tomorrow."

He shrugs. "I don't care."

"Well, _I_ do," I snap back.

He smiles at me. "Don't worry. I can sneak you back in before curfew."

Growling, I glare at him.

"I have absolutely nothing to say to you, I hope you know."

"I know," he answers confidently.

I hesitate, "And if this is about that stupid party, then you can rest assured that I have absolutely nothing against your taking other girls out. I mean, it's not like we're together- God forbid- so we shouldn't have to care about things like that, and so we won't, agreed?"

He smiles, amused, as though I'm some kind of lab specimen that's just done a cute little trick.

I glare at him when he doesn't reply. "Look. If you have to say something, you might as well do it now. I don't feel like playing any more of your games tonight. So just come right out and tell me what you've been trying to tell so desperately for the past week."

He studies me carefully.

"Well?" I demand.

He leans forward and grabs me by the wrist, tugging me towards the door.

"What are you doing?" I protest in alarm.

"I want to show you something."

"Taichi-,"

"It won't take long, I promise."

I start to protest again, but he touches his free hand to my lips. I hate how I react to him. It's like a tingling, electric shock, and for a moment it feels as though my heart's stopped. _Okay, breathe. Just breathe. _I really must be out of whack.

"Please," he says simply.

My cheeks are warm, I can feel it. Looking down, I muster up an indifferent, "whatever" face and shrug, swallowing hard to get rid of the butterflies in my stomach. But I'm not going to let him see what he does to me. Not that he does anything to me, of course. Oh, Jesus, I'm going crazy. Since when did this start? Since when did he become anything more than that stupid, egotistical rich guy who was willing to show a girl a perfectly unattached, non-committal good time when she needed it? Can anyone really _just_ be friends with benefits? Maybe not. I mean, we are having a kid together now, because of that. Oh, when did life get to be so complicated?

_Stop thinking. Just breathe._

I reach for my jacket, which I'd thrown on one of the sofas in the living room when I'd walked in, too lazy to hang it up, but he won't let me go that far.

"You won't need it," he says, dragging me to the door.

"Where are we going?"

"I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

"Taichi, I'm a pregnant woman. Don't play games with me."

"Who's playing?" He stops me at the door. He drops his voice, wary of the hour and the fact that Sora and Hikari are asleep in the next room. "Do you want to leave a note or-?"

"I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm not staying out any longer than ten minutes. That's all you got, mister, so you better deliver quick." I poke him in the chest with a threatening finger. "My mood swings don't last very long. It's your gamble."

"I'll take the odds," he mutters, opening the door and ushering me into the hallway.

Without another word, he takes me into a cab and we drive for a good ten minutes. I'm tempted to say his time is up, but when I see that we've passed beyond the bustle of downtown Tokyo, I'm incredibly curious. We're still in the city, but now we're passing along quiet suburbia. In the distance, I can see a lake, part of a waterfront park that attracts the young family type. I glance at him doubtfully.

"You're taking me where no one can hear my screams?" I ask dryly.

He smirks.

"We're here." He opens the door for me, which is probably the most chivalrous thing he's done all evening (or all the time we've known each other, come to think of it) and I step out.

I have absolutely no idea what he's up to.

We're at the docks, where a lot of the locals like to go fish or sail during the weekends. The lake is massive. It's dark now, but in the daylight, you can barely see to the other side. But it's actually very beautiful. Well, during the day at least. At night, it looks…cold.

I wrap my arms protectively around my stomach, frowning. Turning my back towards the light breeze, I throw him a puzzled look. He tells the cab driver to wait, then takes my hand and moves me closer to the edge of the dock. There's a railing that separates us from the very edge, and I lean against it now.

"All right, you got me. What's going on?"

He gestures to the silent lake.

"Isn't it something?"

"Not particularly," I admit honestly. "Maybe in the day, but at night, you can't even see anything."

"Not true." He looks up at the sky. I crane my neck, searching for whatever he's looking at, wondering if he's finally gone over the edge. I always thought his work ethic would get to him one day. "I think…this is something. I like to come out here sometimes, you know, get away from everything."

I sigh.

"Okay, Taichi, _enough_. I mean it."

"What?"

"What's gotten into you? You get all obsessed with wanting to talk about something important or whatever, but the minute I'm willing to listen, you turn around and stall for time. What are you doing?"

He shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Maybe…maybe we don't get to talk much, so when we do, I want to make it last."

I stare at him.

"Are you drunk?"

He shoots me a look.

"A little faith would be nice, you know."

"It's just not like you to spout off sentimentalities like that. It sounds weird."

"What, I can't be honest?"

I can feel the corners of my mouth trying to lift in a smile, but I refuse to give in.

"I'm serious this time. What's this all about?"

He comes to stand next to me, beside the railing. He stares hard into the water. "I haven't been there for you, and I'm sorry."

I gape at him. "What?"

He goes on, "But I'm going to do better. Really. These past few days, I've been thinking about- about us. I don't like what I see, Mimi. So I'm going to change us."

I groan. "You've _got_ to be kidding me…."

Ignoring me for the moment, he continues, "That's why I came to that class, why I call, why I took you here. I just…the- the baby's half my responsibility, too, isn't it? And I was scared at first. I didn't want- no, I just didn't know _how_ to deal with it. So I tried to push you away, tried to forget about it. But I can't. I look at you and- and I see me. And this isn't a mistake, Mimi. At least, I don't want it to be. I…I want to be there."

I stare.

"And _that's_ what you've been trying to tell me for the past week?" I demand incredulously.

He gives me a funny look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I cross my arms over my chest.

"I want you here, too, stupid. Despite all the fights and misunderstandings we seems to get into, I actually want you to be involved. I wouldn't defy my parents for just anybody, you know."

He winces. "Yeah, about that…."

"Forget about them, Taichi. They don't know you the way I do."

"Maybe you don't know me, either," he says softly.

I frown at him, confused. "What are you-?"

"There are things about me I don't want you to know, Mimi," he interrupts seriously. "Secrets that I keep from everyone. Things I've said or done or thought. And if you knew, you'd think about me differently, I know."

I stare at him, completely taken off guard. Was this the same Taichi who planted fake spiders in Hikari's dorm room, who competed in pumpkin-seed-spitting games in college, who whined like a baby when I used to make him come shopping with me?

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" I whisper.

He shakes his head. "I'm serious, Mi."

It's like he's stolen the breath right out of my lungs. I lean against the railing to steady myself. "Say it again," is out of my mouth before I can stop myself, and I'm so thankful for the dark night, so he won't see how madly I'm blushing right now.

"Say what?" he asks, confused.

"Say my name like that," I mutter hurriedly, hoping the mumble will prevent his comprehension.

Of course, I've got the worse luck on the planet, so he does catch the words.

"Mimi?"

"No," I shake my head. "You don't remember when you gave me that nickname?"

"Oh, you mean 'Mi'?" He chuckles softly. "No. Am I supposed to?"

"It doesn't matter," I assure him, still burning red.

He doesn't press for more information, and I'm grateful. A few moments, I've gathered my composure and dignity, and now I'm brave enough to say, "I could never think any differently about you, Taichi."

"Is that good or bad?" he asks dryly.

I smile. I absolutely hate how easily he can make me forget I'm supposed to be angry with him.

"Good," I promise. "I don't ever want you to change."

"Maybe change is a good thing."

"Only sometimes."

He doesn't reply. After a small hesitation, he says, "But I really do want to be better about us. I want the baby to have good memories about us."

I can't help but shiver when he says "us." I want to say that there isn't an "us" but I can't bring myself to mention it. I don't know why. Instead, I lean over the railing and stare into the still, black waters.

"We have good memories, Taichi. Lots of them."

"I know," he says quietly. "I remember…."

I glance at him, trying to read his face. But it's bowed away from me as he stares into the lake. With a sigh, I grip the railing and start to climb over. It takes him a minute to realize what I'm doing. He grabs my arm tightly.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demands, worry slipping through his annoyed tone.

"I'm just getting a better view," I say.

"Mimi, stop. You might fall in."

"No, I won't," I interrupt confidently. "I've got you. I trust you, Tai. Do you know that? I trust you."

He meets my gaze, his eyes wide. He blinks quickly, looking down.

"Maybe you shouldn't," he admits quietly.

"Maybe I should," I whisper.

"Please, Mimi, come back. I don't want to let you down."

"You won't," I smile brightly at him.

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he reluctantly loosens his hold, still hovering over me with his arms out, ready to catch me if I trip. But I don't. I manage to climb over to the other side of the railing in perfect health. Holding tightly onto the railing behind me, I lean forward, closing my eyes as I balance myself on the docks, feeling the cold, evening air cooling my skin.

And then I feel his hands cover mine, wrapping around my own hands as they grip the railing. His hold is warm and protective, and I instinctively pull back to lean into him, until the back of my head is nestled perfectly into the crook of his neck. He turns his face and I can feel his breath against my cheek. I close my eyes, trying to remember this forever.

Then his hands slide to my waist, and he gently lifts me so I can sit on the railing. I turn around so my back is to the lakefront and I'm facing him. I lean forward, my feet dangling, swinging back and forth, my arms draped over the railing lazily.

"Evergreen," he says to break the silence.

I raise an eyebrow, confused.

He smiles secretively. "You wore an evergreen dress our first night together. Remember?"

Now it's my turn to blush. "Oh, God, don't remind me…."

"Green's a good color on you."

"I meant that night."

"What, you didn't like it?"

I shoot him a look. "Don't try that with _me_, Taichi."

He's grinning mischievously now. "So you did?"

"I'm not answering that."

"You don't have to," he replies easily. "The rest of that night spoke enough on your opinion."

I groan, "Oh, shut up!"

He laughs, turning around to lean back against the railing, his back towards the lakefront. I watch him, studying his face. He really is different when he's like this, when he's not overwhelmed with work or meetings or worries. This is how he used to be when we were younger. He was fun, a little quirky, full of jokes and so relaxed. Like nothing in the world could move him, change his mind. Now, only once in a while will he bring his guard down and relax. But it's worth it when he does.

Then the amusement fades away and he frowns thoughtfully into the starry night. "You know, sometimes I wonder why…."

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. "Why, what?" I prompt.

He shrugs, shoving his fists deeper into the pockets of his jeans.

"Sometimes I wonder why me. I mean, you could have had anyone you wanted. You could have had _Yamato_, for Christ's sake. But every time you were upset or scared, you came to me. Like I was the first person you turned to when you needed help. Like I was the first person you thought of." He pauses, staring at the ground. And then he goes on softly, "God knows I don't deserve it. God knows I don't deserve someone half as good as you, and yet, you're still here. And sometimes I just wonder why."

I straighten, touching a hand to his arm. I can feel how tense he is, how nervous, and so I lean over the railing, resting my cheek against his shoulder and shut my eyes, gripping his arm tightly. "Because out of everything that goes wrong in my life, you are the one person who never changes."

He smiles half-heartedly. "Yeah. Consistency's real important in a friendship…."

I pull back to look up at him. "Taichi-,"

"Forget it," he interrupts suddenly, pulling away.

I grab his arm to keep him from leaving again.

"Wait!"

"Don't, Mi," he says, pulling effortlessly out of my grasp.

Desperate, I yell after him, "I just wonder why!" He stops. I lean against the railing, "Taichi, I wonder why me. You could have anyone you want, but any time I needed someone I could trust, you were there. No matter what I do wrong, how many times I mess up, or how badly I screw up- you're there. And God knows I don't deserve you, but you're still here, time and time again. And I just…." I break off, mind blank. I shiver, pulling his jacket tight around me as I stand on the dock, waiting for him. I smile weakly, "I just want to know why…."

And then he turns around. The moonlight flickers across his face, but he's too far away for me to read his expression. So I wait, not daring to even breathe. He stares right back at me, his brown eyes wide. Then he blinks, shaking his head.

"Mimi…."

I take a deep breath. "Taichi, come here."

Without another word, he obeys, approaching softly and carefully, taking my outstretched hand hesitantly.

"Taichi, tell me why."

"Why, what?" he whispers. I lean into him, feeling him form the words against my cheek.

"Tell me why it can't be you."

He doesn't reply right away, breathing slowly. I let my lips graze his jaw, lost in the moment, the touch of his skin against mine, the electricity it causes, the feelings it conjures up, the sound of his heart beating with mine….

"It isn't me," he says.

"Why not?"

"I just know."

"How?"

"Because…."

"Because why?" I say into his mouth, our kiss too light to even be a kiss.

"Because you deserve more," he breathes finally.

But I've already kissed him.

And he's already kissing me back.

And we're already forgetting everything we said before.

And I move closer, as close as the railing lets me, and take his face in my hands, slipping my arms around his neck, waiting for him to take me close, too. He opens his mouth and I can taste his tongue, until he whispers, "Oh, God, Mimi, don't make me do this," but I kiss his protests away. He carefully lifts his hands to catch my elbows, gently gripping my forearms. And just as he tightens his hold and brings me so deliciously close against him, I suddenly yank away, gasping aloud.

It's as though someone's kicked me violently hard in my stomach, and I can't breathe or think. My vision begins to blur and I feel dizzy, nauseous. Instinctively, I lean back, wanting to curl up and scream from the pain, feeling my legs begin to collapse out from underneath me. His grasp on my arms slips out of shock, and he makes a desperate grab for me, yelling. I can see the fear in his eyes.

And then I can't see anything anymore.

* * *


	17. Chapter 17: Miyako

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

She lost it. 

The baby, I mean.

That is the first thing Sora tells me when I reach the hospital with Ken. It's already four in the morning, according to the clock above the hospital's lobby. Sora met me there; she and Hikari have apparently been at the hospital ever since Taichi called. But when Ken and I find the lobby, only Sora is there. She doesn't tell me where Taichi and Hikari are, and I don't ask.

Sora immediately started telling us what the doctor said earlier: it was a miscarriage, a complicated one. They had to take Mimi directly into the critical care unit in case of surgery. Then Sora put her face in her hands and started to cry.

That's when the doors open and a great echo of footsteps rush towards us. We look up to see everyone gathering: Takeru, Willis, Jyou, Koushiro, and Daisuke. Sora had called them, each of them, though none of them looked the least bit irritated by the wake-up call. They're all wide awake, pale, and desperate for good news. Jyou takes over comforting Sora and Daisuke gives me a small smile, but I'm too much in shock to react or tell him I'm sorry or do anything else.

Koushiro quickly suggests going up to see Mimi, and so we board the elevator and walk in silence to the right room. When we reach the floor, however, we're stopped by the doctor himself.

Takeru practically attacks him: "How is she? What's happening? Will she be all right? What can we do?"

The doctor holds up his hands to interrupt him. "Well, you all must know that she's lost the fetus."

Ken shakes his head sadly and Sora sighs, having heard that too many times tonight.

"And I'm sorry for that loss. But now our focus is on her. An ectopic pregnancy is-,"

"Ectopic?" Willis jumps in, confused. "I thought it was a miscarriage."

"Well, no. That's what our first assumptions were, but the tests now prove that it is an ectopic pregnancy. That's a different type of pregnancy loss-,"

"As in, more dangerous?" Koushiro asks quietly.

The doctor looks at him directly. "Yes."

Sora sucks in her breath. "Can she die?"

Everyone's real quiet now. The doctor hesitates. "It is a life-threatening condition and, unfortunately, especially so in her case. Right now, all we can do is monitor her progress. If the pain persists, however, surgery will be necessary to remove the damaged fallopian tube before harm spreads to other parts of the body."

I put a hand over my mouth, eyes wide.

"It'll be uncertain if she survives, you mean," Daisuke interjects sullenly, in a strange voice.

"Yes," the doctor replies shortly. "I mean, it's a very severe condition, especially with the kind of damage her body is in. There's a chance for anything to happen now."

"Do you recommend the surgery?" Jyou asks seriously.

"Yes, I do. It is the most successful method to save her life. But to do so would decrease the likelihood of her ability to ever conceive again. It's a serious decision that I will not make until there is proof of no other alternative, which is why she is under such scrutiny from the nurses. The slightest sign of danger, and I will operate."

"Can we see her?" Takeru wants to know.

"She's not conscious, but you're welcome to see her anyway."

Ken looks at me and I nod. The doctor smiles kindly at us as he leads us back to her room. Mimi has been changed out of her clothes and into a hospital gown. She looks asleep, not on the verge of organ failure, with tubes and needles crisscrossing her bed in a web. I immediately go over to kiss her forehead, stroking her hair aside. Takeru takes his place in a chair by her bed, with Taichi's jacket draped over the back of the seat. But Taichi and Hikari are still missing from the group, and I can see the questions in Sora's face as she looks around the room, as though she expects the siblings are hiding. Her face is very pale, almost ghostly white, and her eyes red from crying. I want to tell her to sit down, to get some sleep and that we'll stay with Mimi until she wakes up, but I know Sora won't listen.

"Did someone call-?" Sora starts, but Takeru, reading her mind, interrupts.

"Yeah, I did. They're on their way now."

"Should I wait for them at the desk?" Koushiro offers.

"That might be a good idea," Ken says, nodding.

"I'll go with you," Daisuke says, leaving a kiss on Mimi's pale hand before following the redhead out the door.

Takeru invites Sora to take a seat in the chair next to him, and she accepts graciously, visibly exhausted. Willis goes to the waiting room to get Sora a much need cup of coffee and Jyou decides to grill the nurse about Mimi's condition, determined to help if he can. With nothing left to do, I turn around and walk out of the room suddenly. Sora calls my name in alarm, surprised by my reaction, but I don't look back. I don't even slow down. I pick up my pace as I near the women's restroom, but just as I reach for the door, Ken grasps me by the wrist and pulls me back.

Bursting into tears, I immediately turn around and throw my arms around his neck.

"It's not fair!" I cry into his now damp shoulder.

He doesn't answer, only holding me tighter. I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

"It's not fair, it's not fair," I repeat over and over. He listens to me in silence, comforting me with his warm embrace. I eventually quiet down, keeping my arms around him, my eyes still closed.

"Miyako?" he says after a long moment.

"Yes?"

"You know I love you, don't you?"

I pull back so I can look up into his face. He's very serious, staring at me with such intensity and honesty.

"Of course," I breathe, wide-eyed. "I love you, too, Ken. I always have, I always will."

"I know. But sometimes I don't think I tell you that enough."

I frown a little, confused.

"Ken, is something wrong?"

He looks down.

"I know I haven't been very cooperative lately, but I don't want you to think my feelings have changed." He smiles a little, tired, "I'll admit you caught me off guard that day in the- the-,"

"You don't have to say the word," I tease, amused, but incredibly nervous at the same time.

He smiles again. "Well, I was surprised. But you what else I found out?" he adds in a whisper. I shake my head. He pulls me tight against him, holding me protectively. "I can't imagine my life without you. All your quirky habits, the things you say, the way you always manage to get me tongue-tied by everything you do- I don't want that to go away. I don't want you to change, Miyako. Being with you is all I want to do, forever."

My eyes widen even more.

"Ken…?" I start to ask, but too I'm scared to finish.

"Miyako," he says, seriously, "will you let me be with you, now and forever, always, until not even death can separate us?"

"Miyako!"

We both turn, stunned, to see Mrs. Tachikawa running through the hallway. She launches herself at me, grabbing me by the shoulders and gripping my arms so tightly I swear my circulation's been cut off.

"Where is she? Where is she?" Satoe demands, frantic and in tears.

"This way," Koushiro says, appearing suddenly behind her. He takes Satoe by the arm and leads her to Mimi's room, and I am forced to go with her since she still keeps her hold on me.

I crane my neck to look back at Ken, who's still frozen in the place where we left him, still trying to figure out what happened as I was ripped abruptly right out of his arms. But before I can try and reach for him, I catch sight of Taichi and Hikari entering the hallway through the corridor doors. Before any of us can even react, the doors slam open again and we see Daisuke desperately trying to keep up with Mr. Tachikawa as he races past the others.

Then, suddenly, Keisuke seems to notice who he has just rushed by.

Without a word, he swiftly turns on his heels, brushes past a stunned Hikari, and hits Taichi clear across the face.

Hikari shrieks and drops to the ground by her brother's side, trying to shield him from Keisuke's second attack. Koushiro immediately lets go Satoe's arm and joins Daisuke and Ken in trying to stop Keisuke from having another go at Taichi, who's pressing a hand over his bleeding lip and struggling to get out of the way. Satoe, being of no help whatsoever, instantly bursts into fresh tears, leaving me torn between going to help or stay with her. Then Jyou and Takeru run out into the hallway, hearing the racket, and quickly dive into the situation.

"_Stop it! You're hurting him, _stop!" Hikari shouts at Keisuke, trying to drag Taichi out of the way.

"_You son of a bitch_!" Keisuke yells, kicking Taichi in the shin.

"_It wasn't his fault! It wasn't his fault_!" Hikari repeats frantically, crying herself.

"Keisuke! Keisuke, please!" Satoe calls after him a low moan, burying her face in her hands so she won't have to see.

Willis comes rushing onto the scene, with Sora right on his heels, and he shoves the hot plastic foam cup of coffee into Satoe's confused hands before taking Taichi by the arm and hauling him to his feet. Daisuke grabs his other arm, and Jyou and Takeru shove Keisuke back. Koushiro stands in the middle, arms outstretched, heaving as he separates them guardedly. Hikari's gripping Taichi's shirt, hugging him protectively. Keisuke tries to take a step forward, but Koushiro, Jyou, and Takeru stop him. Instead, Keisuke growls.

"Go to hell," he threatens harshly. "Go to fucking hell."

And then he shoves the Jyou and Takeru away, turning to grasp his wife roughly by the arm as they march into Mimi's room.

The rest of us hang in silence, holding our breaths.

Finally, Daisuke and Willis let go of Taichi, who, without their support, sinks weakly to the ground. Hikari goes down with him, still hugging him, still in tears. Without thinking twice, Willis drops to his knees and pulls her into his arms comfortingly to give Jyou room to examine Taichi's bruises. Hikari lets go of her brother reluctantly, enveloping herself in Willis's arms, leaning into him in an intimate way that makes Daisuke stare a little too long. He quickly looks away, though, when he sees me watching him, and gets to his feet.

"I'll get some water," he says in foreign voice, going to the men's bathrooms to fetch it without waiting for any of us to reply. Having noticed the exchange between Willis and Hikari as well, Takeru sighs tiredly and goes after him.

Willis leans in to whisper something into Hikari's ear. She listens without speaking, staring sadly at her brother's expressionless face. Finally she nods, and they both stand. I reach out and squeeze her hand reassuringly as they pass me by, and she looks at me for a minute before turning away to disappear into the waiting room with Willis. I debate whether or not to follow her inside, wondering if she wants me to at all, knowing that she needs a friend now especially.

But before I can, Sora crosses the hall and comes to a stop in front of Taichi's still figure. Taichi doesn't do or say anything, though he must know she's standing there, staring at him with an unreadable expression. Jyou and Ken hesitate, glancing between the two, but we are all completely taken aback when Sora casually leans down and slaps Taichi hard, her fingernails leaving red scratches on his cheek.

Jyou leaps to his feet and I grab Sora's hand, horrified and alarmed. Before either of us can speak, Sora says through gritted teeth, "I actually believed you when you said you wanted to be there for her. Remember that night, Taichi? It was raining and we stood out in the middle of it and you told me you just wanted to prove yourself to her." Taichi still says nothing, his head bowed at such an angle that his bangs shield his eyes.

"And I actually believed you," Sora goes on in a whisper. "I _believed_ you. But I should have known. You always ruin everything, Taichi. That's all you ever do. Don't you see what you're doing to her? Don't you see what you've _done_?"

Taichi wipes the blood from his lips, leaning heavily against the wall, now staring up at the ceiling with vacant eyes. He doesn't bother getting up, rubbing at the bleeding scratches on his face, listening with vacant eyes as Sora continues, the words rushing from her mouth in increasingly frustrated tones, her voice rising steadily, her eyes glazed over with tears.

"You mess everything up and then you never bother to fix it. That's how it's always been. Oh, what the hell's the matter with you, Taichi? It's like you don't care about anything anymore- and what's worse- you won't even _admit_ it. All you're good for now is hurting people, people who really care about you. And Mimi cares, Tai. She trusts you more than you deserve, and look where it's gotten her. Why can't you just see what you're doing to her- to _us_- and just _stay the hell out of our lives_?"

Jyou hushes her, "That's enough, Sora. Please-,"

With a shake of her head, Sora turns away and hurries back to Mimi's room. Ken, Jyou, and I look at each other. "Should I-?" I start to say, but Jyou volunteers instead. He hands me a handkerchief and instructs me to clean up Taichi's face before following Sora. I exchange worried looks with Ken, who just shakes his head. He gestures to the waiting room and promises to return with coffee for Taichi.

Looking away, I glance down at Taichi, who still hasn't moved.

Gripping Jyou's handkerchief, I hand it to him, but he barely even notices it. With a sigh, I kneel down next to him, gently, awkwardly touching the cloth to his bleeding cheek. He flinches, turning away, but I stop him.

"You need to get this cleaned up," I tell him, gesturing to the bruises and cuts on his face.

He doesn't answer.

Deicing not to speak so soon, I make another attempt to clean up his face but he shoves me back suddenly.

"Don't," he says in a low, hoarse voice, not meeting my gaze. "I'm fine."

I look at him sadly.

"No. No, you're not fine, Taichi," I whisper. "You and Mimi just lost a part of yourselves. It's okay not to be fine right now."

He says nothing, staring hard at the floor.

I carefully continue wiping his cuts, assessing the damage as I go.

"Mimi's going to all right," I tell him quietly. "The doctor says she'll be in here for a while longer, so I'm thinking of having each of us take on shifts, keep her company when she wakes up. That is, her parents and Sora and you don't really count, since you guys will be here all the time, but the rest of us want to there for her, too, so I think this seems to be the best way of-,"

"I'm leaving."

I stop, frozen. "What?" I ask, confused.

He won't meet my gaze.

"I'm leaving," he repeats distantly.

"Oh, you mean for the night? Well, that's okay. You need your sleep anyway. One of us will stay with her until you get back-,"

"No, Miyako," he interrupts. "I'm _leaving_."

I draw back slowly, staring.

"I don't understand…."

He speaks slowly, as though focusing on every word carefully. "I've been working on this deal at work for a really long time, and I didn't think I'd get it. But at the last minute I did and the company- the company's really proud. They…offered me an executive position for the international firm." I pull away from him even farther, trying to keep up but struck speechless, confused and frustrated. He goes on quietly, "I've been trying to tell her about it. I didn't- I didn't want to leave her and the baby, so I was having trouble deciding what to do, but now…. Now there's nothing to keep me here, is there?"

I shake my head.

"That's why you've been-,"

"-why I've been trying to get so involved, yeah," he finishes, visibly exhausted. "If I had to go, I didn't want her to think the wrong thing."

"But if…if you leave now, Taichi, what is she supposed to think?"

He doesn't answer, bowing his head lower.

I look away, chewing on my bottom lip. "Where do you have to go? Kyoto? Hong Kong? Beijing?"

"London."

I stand up suddenly, fists clenched.

He shuts his eyes. "If I had known-,"

"No, no, don't you dare-," I interrupt him, shaking. "You knew all this time that you might have to leave her for a job half-way across the stupid globe, and you never once told her?"

"I said I've been trying to tell her, but I never had the chance," he defends looking up at me for the first time.

I glare at him.

"If you had any guts at all you would have told her the truth from the very beginning, not string us all along or even fool us into thinking that your becoming involved meant that you were ready to finally come back. Only it was all a lie. All one stupid, stupid lie! And then you wait until one of the worst moments of her life to leave her when she needs you the most?"

He glares back. "She doesn't need me if she has you. You're her friends, too, you know."

"You're considering leaving her and you still call yourself her _friend_?" I cry in shock. "Do you have any idea how much you'll hurt her if you do this? Every moment you're not there, every minute longer she has to wait for you-,"

"I've already done enough!" he shouts back, struggling to his feet. "Sora's right, Miyako! I've done enough!"

"Don't you realize that if you leave like this, you'll just be proving Keisuke and Sora and everyone right? And you know what they're saying is wrong, Taichi! You're not like that!"

"How do you know what I'm like?" he responds easily, breathing hard. "How do any of you know anything?"

I stamp my foot, frustrated. "You can't go without telling her the truth! You have to tell her the truth!"

"What truth?" he manages to ask after a moment, voice hoarse. "The one she already knows? The one we all already know? That I'm fooling myself if I think I could ever be good enough for her?"

I bury my face in my hands, shaking my head violently. "Taichi, Taichi, please, don't do this!"

Taichi ignores me, "Because I'm not good enough! I'm never going to be good enough! Not by her standards, not by her parents' standards, not even by her friends' standards! All I ever do is let her down, Miyako! Over and over! And she has people who won't! She has others who care about her and won't let anything happen to her! She has you and Sora and Takeru and Koushiro and Yamato! And Yamato doesn't make her cry! He doesn't make her angry! He doesn't let her down!"

"Taichi- _please_-!"

He shakes his head, backing away from me. "Miyako, I am _not_ going to put myself in a position to hurt her again. And that's all I ever do. You know that. I know that- even _she_ knows it. I couldn't _ever_ make her happy."

"You just can't leave her. You can't just leave like this. It's not fair; it's not right, and you know it," I interrupt fiercely.

"I don't care," he snaps back. "I am _not_ going to be the one to hurt her again. I _won't_."

I stare at him helplessly.

"And so you think running away is going to solve everything? Make yourself forget everything you feel for her? Make _her_ forget _you_?"

His voice is cold and flat. "If that's what it takes."

I can't think of anything to say.

He stares back at me as though he's challenging me to try and stop him, but my chest is so heavy with the finality of his words that I can't do anything but turn away him, furious and helpless, confused and desperate, terrified and lost. I scrub at my cheeks, not wanting him to see me cry.

"You're making a mistake," I tell him, my back still turned.

"No, I'm not. This was the best thing that almost happened to me. But we all know I'm the worst thing that could happen to her."

I take a deep breath.

"Taichi, if you will please just tell her-,"

"Miyako, if you really respect me as a friend, let me go."

And so I step aside.

Long after he's walked out of the hospital and out of our lives for the last time, I stare at the place where he was for an eternity, lost in thought. How can he do that? How can he be so willing to leave her behind without ever looking back once, just to protect her, just because he's so convinced he's not the one for her?

I catch my breath, eyes wide.

How do I know Ken won't ever do that to me?

* * *


	18. Chapter 18: Sora

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

**Author's Note**: Things are moving kind of fast now, for obvious reasons, so bear with me.

* * *

We didn't tell Mimi where he went, but she found out anyway. How, I don't know. But the day she was well enough to come from the hospital (her parents and I tried to get her to stay at Miyako's flat because we thought it'd be better for her to adjust to her loss without having the half-finished nursery there to upset her, but she calmly and politely refused the offer and insisted she return to her own apartment), she entered the door, stood in the hallway for a long, silent moment, and then turned to me and asked if it was true about his transfer to London. 

I was too much in shock to deny it—or say anything at all, for that matter—so I didn't answer. She nodded her head simply, with such reserved finality, and then it was as though she hadn't said anything. She asked me to help her move her things back to her room (Hikari had packed her a little suitcase for her brief stay at the hospital) and I instinctively obeyed.

It wasn't until much later that night, while we were eating the dinner I'd made to welcome her home, that she seemed to ease back into normal conversation. Hikari, Miyako, and I nervously sat through it all, not knowing what to expect. That is, she'd had her cry and she'd grieved for a while, and though she was handling it all remarkably well, there was something less happy about her in general. I know it takes time—a long time. You just don't get over something like this that quickly. You aren't supposed to.

But I just wish she'd talk about it.

All she talks about are the trivial things, like the movies and soaps she caught up with while at the hospital. Miyako's the most relieved that she's sticking to topics like that. The bespectacled girl always joins in enthusiastically (perhaps a bit too enthusiastically), but Hikari and I don't say anything because we both know what Miyako's trying to avoid.

At least one good thing came out of his leaving: Miyako and Hikari have finally made up.

I'm not entirely sure how, since neither is saying much about it, but Miyako mustered up enough guts to finally face Hikari, using him as an excuse for a conversation. She reported to Hikari everything her brother said and did, not leaving a single detail out, and Hikari must have answered in equal sincerity, for the next thing any of us knew, the two of them were hugging and apologizing right there in the middle of the hospital hallway.

More passed between them, I'm sure, but I wasn't in the mood to ask, nor do I have much interest now. All I know is that it makes everything much easier now that they're speaking to each other again. I know it makes Mimi happy too, seeing them together again. She's very pleased with their ability to sort things through and make up, though a sneaky, suspicious part of me wonders if that's because she never got to sort things out with him.

I really want to tell her the truth. I want to tell her what happened that morning, how her parents treated him and how for once in his life he didn't fight back, almost as if he silently agreed with them.

But I can't.

I just _can't_.

Because I know that how I treated him will disappoint her. I know she'll be upset with me, even though I know I deserve it.

I don't even know what I was thinking, yelling at him like that, saying all those awful things. But when I do remember it, I can hear all the hurt and anger in my words and I can only imagine what they did to him. As though he wasn't hurting enough already.

But why didn't he _do_ anything?

Why did he just sit there and _take_ it?

And now he's gone.

And now I can't do anything about it.

I think somehow this is my fault, that I made him go, that I convinced him to do what he was actually reluctant to do in the first place because maybe—just maybe—he wanted to stay. Maybe he wanted this, maybe he just wanted her. And maybe this might have been his excuse to stay. But then I went and opened my stupid mouth and let my temper get the better of me, and now Mimi will never know what he might have done for her. Because now, all Mimi will remember is that he didn't care enough to stay.

But that isn't true.

But how do I tell her, how do I tell her when she won't _let_ me?

Every time I think I can say something, when there's a pause or a moment of silence that's perfect for confession, she'll interrupt me right when I'm about to tell her the truth, almost as if she senses the importance of what I'm trying to say, almost as if she doesn't want to face it and risk getting hurt all over again. And that just makes everything harder. Sometimes I think I should call him, but I don't have a number. His office phone's been given to his replacement and both his cell and his home phones have been disconnected. I could email him, but—oh, who do I think I'm fooling?

"Is something the matter?"

I look up, startled, and find Holstern staring at me from the door of my office. I blink at him in confusion, my mind blank. Glancing down at my desk, I see the designs I've been working on, the samples of colors and all my pencils and rulers and photos—

I sit up straight.

"Oh, God—," I gasp, horrified. "The deadlines!"

Holstern actually chuckles, amused, as he steps into the room.

"Relax. You still have plenty of time."

"But I promised you I'd get them done today!" I panic.

"Sora, Sora," he says, trying to grab my attention. He snaps and I look up, breathless. He smiles. "I know how hard you've been working. I will not hold anything against you if a few things have to be adjusted in terms of deadlines."

I stare, amazed. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I picked you for your talents, and I'm willing to wait an extra day if that means I'll get the best."

"Oh, most definitely," I affirm. "I'm really grateful about this, Mr. Holstern. I won't let you down."

"Please, please," he waves a hand, "don't call me that. Call me Georg, please."

I blush a little, flattered but still guilty for making such a bad impression.

He comes over to my desk and peers over my shoulders. "Ah," he muses after a moment. "So you're taking the changes I recommended?"

I nod. "Here, and…here," I pull out a design for a black and white evening gown that's been hidden under all the other sheets. Holstern picks it up, pleased.

"Lovely, lovely," he compliments, making me blush even more.

"It still needs some more work," I protest.

"Only on the shoulders, but not too much. The rest is…absolutely magnificent. We'll use this for Mimi's last photo shoot, yes?"

I grow hesitatnt, biting my lip.

"I don't think Mimi's going to be coming back…."

He looks at me in surprise.

"What?"

I cringe. "You see," I finger my bracelet nervously, "there was…there was an accident and Mimi lost the baby."

Holstern doesn't say anything, staring at me.

I continue shakily, remembering every moment as I tell him about it.

"It was once of those complicated kind of miscarriages. I don't understand fully even now, but from what I can tell, I don't think Mimi…that is, it's highly unlikely she's ever going to be able to have children."

Holstern quietly sets the picture back on the table.

"So I didn't think it would be fair to ask her to come back for any more photos. And…and to be perfectly honest," I pause to look at him bravely, "I don't think you should publish those photos. I don't want her to hurt anymore than she does already."

He glances away.

"I see."

Despite my determination to stay loyal to my best friend and her terrible situation, I can feel my heart swell with disappointment at the tone of his voice. Strictly business-wise, this would have been an amazing opportunity. But really, I would rather have Mimi back.

"I'm sorry," I whisper after a long silence. "I'll understand if you wish to withdraw your endorsement—,"

"Nonsense," he interrupts firmly.

I stare up at him, surprised.

"I hired you for a reason, Sora." He smiles at me. "I want to keep you."

"But the photo shoots—,"

"Are right here," he produces an envelope from his suit jacket pocket and hands it to me. "I would never profit on such tragedy. She may have her photos, and I will find another model. There's no harm done."

I'm struck speechless. He seems to notice my amazement and laughs.

"I'm not as heartless and calculating as the rumors say," he says.

"I never thought—," I try to defend, but he interrupts, moving to sit on my desk so he can face me squarely.

"I hope you never will."

I smile shyly. "Thank you…Georg."

"Sounds strange?"

"A little," I grin.

"You'll get used to it."

"I would like that," I say, smiling confidently. Business partners, Takenouchi and Holstern. Okay, maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but still….

"How is Mimi doing, though?" he asks.

I grow sober at once. "Better than I expected, definitely. But sometimes I think it's all just a façade to keep people from worrying about her, you know? She just…she's not the same."

"Well, you can't expect her to be."

"I know. But somehow it feels like it's more than that…."

He hesitates, "And how is Taichi doing?"

I jump, startled. "How do you—?"

He smiles, "Those photo shoots can get long and boring without decent conversation. And though she continually claimed she wanted to change the subject, she never managed to, if you know what I mean."

I stare, blinking back tears.

He touches a hand to my shoulder. "What is it? Why are you so upset?"

"I'm an idiot," I say through a constricted throat.

He looks alarmed. I guess emotional women on this scale don't run across his path very often. So much for the business partner idea….

"I don't understand."

"Oh!" I gasp, trying to take deep breaths to keep from bursting into sobs right there in front of him. "I was so awful to him—I was so awful! And I didn't even mean the things I said! I didn't! He's my friend, he's close enough to be my brother, and I could never think those things about him, no matter how much he infuriates me sometimes! But I said it anyway, and now I think I've ruined it for them forever!"

"Sora—,"

"I was just—I wanted to protect her! She'd just gone through so much—and I'd never been so scared in my entire life!"

Finally in tears, I cover my face with my hands, bending over my lap. He gently, hesitantly touches a reassuring hand to the top of my head.

"There, now…you were just being a good friend, a concerned friend. Everyone makes mistakes."

"But I can't fix this one! I can't!"

"Now, now, don't give up that easily." His hand wanders down to cup my face on both sides as he leans into me. "You really are a good friend, Sora. All you do is tell the truth and Mimi will understand."

"Do you think so?" I sniff.

"Yes," he breathes. "Oh, yes…."

And before I know it, he's kissing me.

I'm frozen in my seat, my hands gripping the arms of my chair. His mouth wanders, kissing me forcefully and all over, his hot breath against my cheeks and neck. It takes me just a second more to recover, and just in time, too, as his hand deliberately slides down to my leg, fingering the hem of my skirt.

With a cry, I lurch back and slap him hard.

"_What the hell are you doing_?" I shriek, jumping out of my chair and diving away from him.

He falls forward, caught off guard, and rolls over on the ground, scrambling to his feet. I grab my desk lamp, ready to throw it at him.

"_Who the hell do you think you are_?" I scream again, waving the lamp threateningly.

"What's the matter with you?" he demands, yelling back, rubbing his sore cheek.

"You—you were—you tried to come on to me!" I accuse, horrified.

"You were practically _asking_ me!" he retorts, muttering furiously in German.

My mouth drops open. "How _dare_ you! We work together and that's it!"

He glares. "Do you want my endorsement or not?"

I gape at him, unable to believe what I'm hearing.

"I was prepared to sell you my designs, Holstern, not my body!"

He opens his mouth to say something back, but out of anger I chuck the lamp at him and he shrieks as it flies by his head, narrowly missing him. Before he can react, I grab my purse and my portfolio and everything else that I can take and shout, "_I quit_!"

Rioshi meets me at the door, having heard the commotion. He sees me with all my things and immediately beings to ask questions, but I shake my head.

"Goodbye, Rioshi."

"What? What? Sora!"

"I quit!"

"_Sora_!"

But I'm already gone.

I stomp all the way to the trains, dragging all my belongings with me, not caring how I must look to people. It isn't until I've settled my fuming self on the subway seats that I realize what I've done.

Oh my God.

I'm unemployed.

_But for good reason!_ my conscious says immediately. _That sleazeball had no right to even think he could take advantage of you, and you sure showed him who was boss. Nobody treats Takenouchi Sora like that. Nobody treats _any_ woman like that. It's disgusting and immoral and unethical and—and _disgusting_. They don't deserve your talents._

I take a deep breath, blinking away the tears in my eyes.

_That accent's probably fake anyway_.

Miyako opens the door.

"What on earth—?" she gasps, eyes wide.

I march past her and dump my things in my room. When I come back out, I see Hikari, Miyako, and- to my surprise- Yamato on the couch, all staring at me in complete bewilderment, though concerned.

"You're back early," Hikari notices.

I draw myself to full height, remembering myself. "I quit."

They stare.

"What?" Miyako squeaks, shocked.

"I quit. That's right. I, Takenouchi Sora, am another _proud_ statistic in the unemployment world."

They stare.

Yamato, who's been sitting on the couch since I came in, now stands, looking at me worriedly.

"Sora, what did you do?" he asks me slowly.

I appraise him. "What are you doing here?"

"I—,"

"I invited him," Hikari interrupts.

Now it's my turn to stare. She smiles. "I'm going to New York."

"What?"

Hikari nods. "Next week."

"But—,"

"My manager's sending the band there, too, for our debut," Yamato adds. "So I have extra tickets if some of you wanted to come."

"And I took him up on the offer," Hikari says.

My eyes widen. I feel faint. Groping, I manage to make it to the couch and sink into it.

"Oh God, I don't have a job."

Miyako immediately sits down beside me. "It's okay, don't worry, we'll pull through together."

"Oh my God…."

"You know, I've got more tickets," Yamato offers. "You can take your mind off things for a minute, you know, figure things out."

"I don't need a vacation! I need a job!" I wail.

"Now, now," Miyako comforts. "Tell us what happened."

"It's stupid-,"

"Sora-,"

"He tried to make a move on me and I quit because I'm not going to stand for that! my career happens to matter to me, only now I went and blew it all!"

"He did _what_?" Yamato jumps in, on his feet again. "_Who_?"

"Holstern," I grumble.

"Mimi's Holstern?" Hikari asks in disbelief.

"Mimi's _what_?" Yamato demands, pale.

"Long story," Miyako tells him quickly before turning back to me. "You did the right thing, Sora."

"I did?"

"Of course, you did," Miyako says. "No woman should have to stand for that. We've worked too long and too hard for those stupid stereotypes to come back. Good for you for standing up to it!"

"Then how come I don't feel good?" I sigh.

"That's because you're unemployed."

I whimper into my hands and Miyako instantly apologizes for speaking.

"I can't believe this…" I groan.

"Think of it as a chance to start over," Hikari says. "Now you can be your own boss. Now you'll finally get the credit you deserve."

"And it's not like money's an issue, Sora," Yamato vows. "You know I'm going to help you with whatever you need, and don't you dare try and feel guilty about it. I'd do anything for my friends, you know that."

I smile at him weakly.

"Thanks, Yamato…."

"So…do you want to come with us then, to cool off for a bit?" Miyako asks.

"You're going too?"

"With Ken, yes. Willis is going to give as tour, in exchange for our hospitality to him these past few weeks."

Hikari smiles a little. "He'll just get you lost, you know."

Miyako glances at her. Hikari quickly changes the subject.

"You should come," she says a bit too hurriedly. "I mean, if you do, then Mimi won't say no."

I'm attentive now.

"You want Mimi to come?"

Hikari nods.

"I think it'd be best, you know? She shouldn't be alone like this. She needs a bit of a vacation, too."

"If you can pry her away from the café," Miyako mutters.

I frown. "She's still on that?"

"She won't give up on it."

"But didn't Huan say they'd have to close?"

Miyako nods. "Ken's been over several times with the final steps this morning, but Mimi…Mimi won't let go."

I hesitate. "There's got to be another way to save the café."

"Money's not it," Yamato says. "It's just not getting enough business. I offered to help her move it somewhere more attractive with customers, but she won't. I don't know…. Maybe she feels that if she loses this, too, it will make everything else too real. You know how much she loves that café…."

Hikari murmurs, "This was the one thing she could actually fight for before she had to lose it forever. For everything else, she didn't have a choice."

I shut my eyes.

"I have to find him."

No one says anything.

"I have to find him," I repeat firmly.

No one challenges me.

This is vaguely surprising, but I don't care enough to be bothered. I'm tired of being the safe, good, honorable Sora. Yes, I want what's best for Mimi, but more than a mother or a sister, I'm her _friend_. And friends don't disappoint each other. I told her from the very beginning that I would do anything for her, and I will. Even if that means sucking up my pride and facing humiliation in the face.

"I have to tell her the truth."

"What truth?"

I freeze.

Slowly, I open my eyes and turn, finding Mimi in the doorway of her room. Her eyes are red and she's still wearing her pajamas. She must not have gone to work today. Or maybe there's no work for her to go to. Maybe the café's closed already, and that's why Yamato, Hikari, and Miyako are here, to support her after having to witness it. I don't know. All I know is that she'd been here all along, listening to our conversation, crying.

The others decide to give us a moment, slipping out of the apartment, mentioning something about going to settle travel arrangements with Takeru, who was also planning on joining the group.

Mimi stares at me steadily.

"Mimi…" I beginning uncertainly.

"Yes?" she says softly.

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. _God give me strength_.

"Mimi," I say, "Mimi, when you were- when you first got sick and we had to take you to the hospital, I said some things to Taichi."

She listens, not saying a word, staring at me with wide, focused eyes.

I go on, realizing how much more difficult it is when she's looking at me like that.

"I was angry, okay? I was upset and I thought- I thought you were going to die, and I was just so scared, I needed someone to vent on, and that someone turned out to be him." She still says nothing, so I'm forced to continue, glancing down. "You know how I feel about the way he is, the things he's done, and I- I told him exactly what I thought of him. I told him how much he hurts you, how much he hurts all of us. And I told him that I thought it was best for all of us if he just left."

"It wasn't his fault," she says in a tone of voice I've never heard her use before.

"I know," I whisper, feeling ready to cry. "I know that now. I was just so scared and angry. I never should have said any of it; I don't even agree with what I said. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mi. _I'm sorry_."

I rise from my seat and reach out my arms to her for a hug, but she steps back suddenly.

"Don't touch me," she says lowly.

"Mimi, please—,"

"Don't—touch—me…" she repeats, her words staggered.

I sit back down on the couch, wiping my eyes quietly.

She doesn't move, doesn't do anything.

"He'd been trying to tell you about London—,"

"I know."

I sigh, sniffing.

"I just didn't want to listen…" she whispers finally.

I look at her. "Mimi?"

"I'm so stupid."

"No, no, you're not—,"

"I couldn't see it—I wouldn't see it when it was right there in front of me, everything—,"

"How could you have known?"

"I wouldn't let him tell me, because I knew deep down what he was trying to say, but I didn't want him to go—I was being so selfish and I—,"

"That's not true. Thats' not true, Mimi."

"I wouldn't let him change—he was the one thing I wouldn't let anything change, not even when he was trying to show me the truth—and now I…oh, I really meant what I said, Taichi, I really meant what I said. Please don't tell me you didn't! Please don't tell me you didn't!" She sinks to the ground, in tears. I instantly reach for her, wrapping my arms around her tight.

"I promise you I will bring him back, Mimi," I swear to her. "I'm going to make this right, I promise. Do you trust me?"

She cries even harder, her face buried in my shoulder.

"Mimi—,"

"Don't!" she says suddenly, shoving me back. She struggles out of my embrace, staggering to her feet and stumbling away. "I don't want this! I can be brave, too! If he won't look back, than I won't either!"

I stare at her sadly.

"Mimi…."

"No," she shakes her head violently. "No! _Don't_ bring him back! I don't _want_ to see him! Let him have his work, his future, his London! I have my own life, too! I have my _own_ future!"

"Mimi, please!"

"My parents were right! Everyone was right! And I was wrong!"

"They don't know him, Mimi!"

"But they know me," she interrupts vehemently. "And they're right about me."

"Mimi—,"

She rubs her face hard to get rid of the tears.

"They invited me back home to Kyoto, Sora. They want me to come back home with them. Go back to school, get another job, settle down somewhere, stop thinking about him and his words and his eyes and his smile and the way it feels when he kisses me and holds me so tight—," she stops suddenly, gasping deeply, "and they're right. I have to go home now."

"Mimi, don't do this. You've got deal with this."

She turns away, fleeing into her bedroom.

"I have to go _home_!"

But I know she won't find it. I know she won't. Because try as she might to forget it, everything she's looking for is somewhere across the world, still trying to convince himself he can forget her, too.

Unfortunately for the both of them, Takenouchi Sora doesn't forget anything.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19: Hikari

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

Before I could explain myself, Daisuke left me. Before I could do anything at all, he left me.

Not that I expected him to stay.

He wouldn't, he couldn't—I know that. For God's sake, he's getting _married_. And I _kissed_ him. How could I think of doing that to him? I would never hurt him—_never_….

Only, after that everything seemed to go wrong, like I set off the trigger, and the minute I let him flee my classroom without trying to call him back and explain everything, I began a chain reaction of unchangeable events. First we almost lost Mimi when the baby died, and then we lost Taichi.

_Taichi…._

My parents are so upset with him. They just can't understand why he left, even though everyone else knows, whether they'll admit it aloud or not. We may not agree with him, but I think secretly, a lot of us do. They just aren't right. Mimi needs someone more stable, someone who'll be there for her when she needs it, someone who won't make her wait. And Taichi—ironic as it is, I don't know what he needs. I just want to believe that London isn't it.

The way he was that morning, the way I found him while we were waiting for the others to come—I don't ever want to see him like that again. I couldn't stand the look on his face, and I couldn't stand knowing why, either.

I guess the Yagami siblings have more in common than we thought. We never seem to win at the most important things.

Mimi won't listen to me or Sora when we try to talk to her about him. She just won't, even though I think—no, I know she wonders about him more than any of us do. None of us have figured out what went on between the two of them that morning, and with the way things are going, then none of us ever will figure out what happened. All I know for sure is what Miyako told me: Taichi had been trying to tell her about his transfer to London, about that would mean for the both of them. That seems to make the most sense, for, surprisingly, Mimi's the least surprised out of all of us that he accepted the job. At least, she's the one who's spoken the least about it. At first, I thought it was because she didn't want to think about him, but now, I suppose it might be because of what they talked about that night. Only…only something seems off about the whole situation. Like she's hiding something else, something more.

I can't get her to admit to anything. I confess that I haven't been putting forth much effort, though, seeing as how she's been busy packing up all her things, plus settling her accounts with the café, the money from which she's planning on giving Huan, since now that she'll be moving back to Kyoto with her parents, her family will support her and she won't need the money anymore.

Sora's long since stopped trying to convince her to stay. But Miyako still hasn't given it a rest. She's over at our place whenever she can, and the arguments the two get into are more painful to hear than to participate in. Not that I don't understand her points—I actually do believe that Mimi's making a big mistake by leaving.

But then, I knew Taichi was, too, when he left. Only I didn't do anything. I was the coward little sister, too afraid of stopping him when I think he wanted me to, deep down inside. I think he was waiting for someone to tell him to stay, for someone to come barging in through his apartment as he cleaned it out, for someone to interrupt his meetings at the office, for someone to stop the plane. But no one did, not even me, the one person who should have understood him the most. But I let him down, and he left.

Dear God, how could I have let my brother turn into a total stranger, even to _me_?

And what's worse, the only person that I now believe can bring him back is leaving, too, turning her back on him for good.

It just doesn't make sense. Clearly, they care about each other, but they honestly can't think that their separate reasons actually justify their decisions, do they? Just because things didn't work out the way they thought, because their parents disapprove, because they might have made a few mistakes in the past? Even despite that, shouldn't they be able to come back, to fix this? And if not, what was the point of this? Doesn't everything happen for a reason? Isn't that true? I believe it is. But then, if this really is how it ends…what was the reason for the baby? It almost feels like they were just on the brink of something new and exciting—and then the dream collapsed, and now there's nothing left but the aftermath of a recurring nightmare.

I really want my brother to be happy. I almost want it more than my own happiness, because I know that of all the things he's done for me and for his friends and for his family, he deserves something back, and somehow, nothing was enough for him. Maybe she was, though. Maybe she _is_.

And then I knew I had to find out.

I wasn't going to let him down again. I _won't_. Now it's my turn to fight for him.

That's the entire reason, actually, that I say yes to Yamato when he tells me about his trip to New York and asks if I want to come with him and some of the others. Miyako and Ken readily agreed as well, looking forward to a break. Ken's planning something really special, I know, just for the two of them. They've long since gotten over the bridal-shop-catastrophe, but Ken's still determined as ever to show her he'll always care for her. He told Yamato he would come with him as far as New York, but that he had a surprise planned for her and they would conveniently break away from the group a few days into the trip. Yamato, who was very amused by the whole affair, readily agreed, offering assistance if needed.

But now that I know Miyako and Ken are covered, I can focus more on finding Taichi. Sora dug up some news on his work and discovered a few interesting tidbits that might help us track him down. According to the papers, his company's doing business in New York in a few weeks, just around the time Yamato's band is going there. It doesn't say anything about Taichi actually being there, and I doubt he will since his new job requires him to be in London only, apparently, but all the same, _someone_ there must know how to reach him or where he is.

Sora wanted to come with me, but someone has to stay around in case Mimi sees the light and decides to do something, too. In that case, Sora would be a better choice to help her. Besides, he is _my_ brother. He's counting on me, I just know it. And I'm going to help him.

So Sora agreed to stay with Mimi, deciding not to tell her outright about my plans to go meet Taichi, but instead focusing on getting the truth about Mimi's feelings first. She promised to keep me informed, hoping that there could be a compromise somewhere in the middle and then we could back out and let them work it out for themselves. Still, a little friendly push wouldn't hurt.

(More like a shove, really, if Sora gets her way. I don't think I've ever seen her so determined and excited about something like this in a long time. I think it's because she quit her job and is now working on her own. Being the boss can get to your head, apparently….)

The day before we—and by "we", I mean me, Yamato, Ken, Miyako, and Willis—leave for New York, I have one last assignment: to take my kids to the greenhouse. It's a fieldtrip they've been looking forward to for a long time, and I wanted to make sure they got to do that before I left on my one-week vacation. (Second-graders are incredibly impatient, and it'd just be cruel to make them wait any longer, anyway.)

I decide not to ask Mimi to come chaperone, though she once promised she would. But that was before she lost the baby, and I don't think it'd be fair to ask her to come after that. I realize it's been a while since, but everyone needs time. I don't want her to rush into things too fast, thinking she's healed inside emotionally. I know she hasn't. She wouldn't be leaving us for Kyoto if she had.

Honestly, I think her parents' influence made her decide to go home with them. But I absolutely refuse to face them after what they did to Taichi, and though it makes me angry, I can't say anything against Mimi's decision to follow them. Deep down, I know she doesn't agree with them. She can't. She just can't treat my brother like that. But fighting with her about it won't accomplish anything, I know. We've got to make her see her mistakes herself, or else she won't change. I just hope Sora can make her see them soon.

But anyway, I asked Yamato to come with me instead, and he willingly obliged, if only to avoid his nagging manager for the rest of the day (his band is slowly reaching the brink of insanity as their debut in America draws closer, and Yamato leaps at even the smallest excuse to get away from them, even for the simplest reasons). I was a little worried that he might be mobbed should anyone recognize him during our outing, but he's hiding behind sunglasses and one of Takeru's hats (although one of the tour guides at the greenhouse did do a double take, but Yamato quieted her with an autograph). The children pay him absolutely no attention, not being of the age to realize who their chaperone is exactly, and I'm beginning to think that's why he doesn't seem to mind coming as much. It's funny. For someone so uncomfortable with attention, he handles it all so coolly, so professionally. And he really is wonderful to talk to, since he actually listens to me.

Surprisingly, I actually looked forward to his coming, because I thought that I could talk to him about Daisuke in private. It's weird: I haven't even talked to Miyako or Takeru about it, even though they're bursting at the seams, just _dying_ to know, but they don't, won't, and can't understand the way Yamato does, will, and can. Yamato knows how it feels. So I tell him, starting from the very beginning.

I haven't seen Daisuke since—well, since that afternoon. I know he's been avoiding me. I can't imagine what's going through his head, but I can't possibly leave without explaining myself to him.

I don't know why I did that. I don't know why I kissed him.

And the strange thing is, it didn't feel like how I thought it would.

I felt guilt, sorrow, pain. It tasted bittersweet, with too much bitter.

And more than that, I knew I was hurting him, that I'd hurt him, not made him feel what I've been too afraid to share with him. I've always been too scared. And that's what I felt most of all: fear. Fear of being rejected, of being turned away, of being left behind. Fear of knowing that maybe this was the right thing to do, or the wrong thing.

I want to be perfect for him. I really want to. But maybe I'm not.

"You don't know that," Yamato interrupts when I explain this to him.

We're sitting on a bench at the doors of the greenhouse. The children have been divided into groups and are now being led around by tour guides. So far, we've had to take three kids on emergency trips to the bathroom, but at least no one's tried to eat dirt, yet. After one boy's attempt, however, Yamato decided I needed a break and took me to the bench. We've been here for a while now, watching the children poke at the different plants and flowers, listening to the guides. I don't remember how we started talking about Daisuke, but we did, and it's a relief, being able to tell someone all this.

I look down at my gloved hands.

"Yeah, I do. It's just something I know, Yamato. I just…_know_." I sigh. "But he won't let me tell him that. And now I've gone and messed things up—,"

"Hey, don't start that, now," he says. "Look, you may think you made a mistake, but you were doing what you had to do to face this, to face him."

I breathe out slowly.

"But it's not finished."

"Then finish it."

I glance at him and he smiles.

"To make a long story short, that was the gist of Sora's lecture to me. And I listened, and I went back, and I told Mimi everything I knew I had to say. And I'm the better for it, Hikari. And you'll be the better for yours as well. You just can't let it end this way now."

There's a crash and we both jump to our feet on impulse.

One of the girls has knocked over a pot and has begun to cry, horrified by her deed.

Yamato grins. "How about you take care of the girl and I'll settle things with the host?"

"Thank you," I tell him, very grateful, especially after noticing the look of fury on the greenhouse owner's face when she notices the damage. Yamato makes a beeline towards her, whipping out a charming charisma as he deals with the situation, and I quickly gather my student in my arms, soothing her tears.

"It's all right, now," I assure her, wiping her cheeks. "We'll fix it, don't worry."

The girl whimpers her apologies. "It was an accident," she blubbers and I smile in spite of myself.

"I know," I say, "I'll take care of it, okay?"

A few of the other children rush forward with their own accounts of the story, wanting to defend their classmate, and for a minute I'm overwhelmed by the rush of voices, but then a new one joins.

"Hey, what happened to all the red roses?"

The children interrupt themselves, looking around for the owner of the voice.

I stop, surprised, but Willis just winks back at me. He bends his knees, sinking to he ground so he's on eye level with most of the kids. The girl in my arms squirms out of curiosity, watching him suspiciously. Willis smiles at her kindly.

"Roses are the flowers of true love, you know," he says matter-of-factly. "They're reserved strictly for the most beautiful girls."

"I want one!" one of my other students demands eagerly. Several other girls join in, echoing her claim.

Willis holds up his hands.

"But I don't see any here."

They all look around, surprised. "Where can I find one?" the girl in my arms asks, sniffing.

Willis's grin widens as he leans forward.

"Right here," he says, stretching his hand out to her. She opens her hand cautiously, her plump palm facing up, and his hand lingers over it for a moment. Then, with a sudden flick of his wrist, he produces a small, red rose bud between his fingers, and she lets out a soft gasp of amazement. The trick makes the children laugh, wanting more. He nods, magically opening his hands to display more tiny rose buds for all the girls, and each student cradles her flower tenderly, in complete awe of him. He taps a finger to the first girl's chin. "No more crying, okay?"

"Okay," she whispers, blushing. The other girls giggle shyly, and, now pacified, they retreat to their own group, leaving me alone with him.

Willis stands again, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"What, I don't get one?" I tease.

He grins cheekily.

"I'm here to pick up plane tickets from Yamato, actually. He's here, isn't he?"

I turn around, pointing. "Yeah. Right there."

"Great." He pauses. "And don't worry, I'm not going to be hanging around."

I frown.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs.

"Let's be honest, Kari," he says in a light tone, just a little serious, "we've been avoiding each other lately. For obvious reasons, of course, but I'll understand if you want the space—,"

I wince. _Great_. I'd been so focused on my problem with Daisuke that I basically ignored Willis completely, no doubt hurting _him_, too.

"Willis, about that…."

"You don't have to say anything," he assures. "It was just one…mistake."

"No, no," I interrupt, holding up a hand to stop him. "Let me finish. Listen," I take a deep breath, not knowing what I'm saying or why, just knowing that I can't let him go without saying _something_. So I start, not knowing how it'll end: "I don't know what I'm doing right now," I admit right away. "I'm just working on impulse. If everyone else can work on impulses and end up doing what's right, then I should be able to do something really crazy, too, just because I know it is right. And—and Willis, that night, our night…I don't want it to be just a mistake we made and are now going to ignore forever. That wasn't just impulsive—at least, I don't really think it was—and I—,"

He sighs, folding his arms over his chest. "Hikari…" he begins softly.

"Let me finish," I say, but he won't.

"Listen, I know about Daisuke." I stop, frozen. Willis goes on, unaffected by my reaction. "He's my best friend, Kari, and so are you. You don't think I wouldn't have noticed something?" he smiles distractedly. Again, I'm surprised to see that unidentifiable look in his blue eyes, the same one I remember on his face the morning after out night together, when I caught him staring at me silently. I open my mouth now, wanting to say something, but I can't. "You don't have to pretend with me, okay?"

"I'm not pretending," I whisper.

He smiles, amused.

I lower my voice with utmost seriousness, "I _was_ upset about Daisuke. And I admit that that was partially why I let—why I let it happen. But I know that using you was unfair and wrong and just awful of me. You definitely don't deserve that, Willis. And I am so sorry for doing that to you. I really, really am."

He nods, understandingly, turning to go, thinking I'm done.

I call after him, "But it also helped me realize something, Wills."

He stops and stares back at me, his brows knit in puzzled curiosity.

I continue breathlessly. "I'm going to get over him. I have to, and I first started to that night." When he doesn't respond, I add suddenly, "I don't want to mess this up like I almost did with Daisuke. I don't want to do that to us. So…can you forgive me?"

He meets my gaze firmly.

"Hikari, now it's my turn to be honest with you."

I wait, listening nervously, holding my breath.

"I'm not afraid of being alone," he begins. "If that's my purpose, I can live with that. But one thing I can't do is be with anyone who _is_ afraid of that. I don't know what I can offer someone, I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that kind of relationship. And that's just me. It's not enough for a lot of people, but it's enough for me. So before you start anything, before you make your choice to 'get over' something or someone that's been a part of you for so long, think about that. About whether it's enough, whether you're enough without someone, without something. It's important to have a life full of friends and companionship, I agree. But if in the end, you're not enough without all that, then you missed the most important kind of life."

I stare at him, speechless.

"I don't mean to be harsh, and I hope I didn't come off that way," he adds quickly, worriedly. "But that's how I live, Kari. That's how I get through each day. That's how I can decide if what I'm doing, how I'm living—if the person I've become is enough for me, for the life I want to have." He hesitates. "And I can only wish the same for you. I really do." Then he steps back. "But that's something you have to decide on your own."

I don't say anything.

He glances back at Yamato.

"Well, I've got to get those tickets back to Miyako, so…so I'll see you later. At the airport?"

Numb, I nod instinctively.

He hesitates again, biting his lip. With a firm shake of his head, he steps forward, thrusting a fully blossomed red rose in my face, producing it seemingly out of no where with one of his fancy tricks. I blink, taken aback, accepting the flower nonetheless.

"Like I could ever forget you," he muses with a smile.

The rest of the afternoon is a blur. I'm vaguely aware of the end of the fieldtrip, or ushering the children back on the bus as we head to the school, or waiting for the parents to arrive, or chatting with Yamato about last minute plans for tomorrow's trip. He's telling me important reminders, I know, but I can't focus. Once or twice, I hear him mention Mimi's name, and something about seeing her that night, but I only nod at him distractedly. And before I can figure out what he meant, what he was going to do, he's gone.

I'm back in the empty classroom again, struggling with everything's that happened. It's a big rush, I giant mess, and I can't believe it's my life. Since when had I let my life become so complicated? I barely even recognize it; it's practically a soap opera. I feel like someone else is living it, and I'm just observing it all.

But the part that feels the most unreal is me.

Sometimes, it really makes me sick how scared, how frightened, how shy I can be. That only leaves me with so many regrets, all of which weigh me down day by day, until I can barely breathe from the strain. And though I know it's all my fault, that I've only brought it upon myself, I'm still reluctant to change. Because I don't know what will happen if I do. I'm not like Willis, like Sora, or even Takeru or Yamato. I'm not strong like them. I used to want to be. I used to idolize my brother for his strength of will, his courage and his bravery. But now I look at the things he's sacrificed, the things he had to give up to save his pride and his stubbornness, and I realize how much I don't want that to happen to me. I want his strength, but I want it to be mine, of my own.

But how do I start?

Where do I begin?

How do I _change_?

And like the very answer to prayer, as if to test my sudden conviction, Daisuke comes.

He's standing at the doorway, out of breath, as though he's been running.

And seeing him standing there impacts me more powerfully than I thought it would.

"What you said, did you mean it?" he asks.

I stare at him, frozen. Slowly, I rise to me feet, my whole body stiff. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest.

"Daisuke…?" I ask, confused.

"Did you mean it?" he repeats, stepping closer.

I don't respond, staring at him with wide eyes. Without another word, he moves until he is right in front of me, and then he takes his hands and gently cups my face, holding me tenderly, lifting my chin so I can clearly meet his firm, beautiful gaze. I'm shaking so hard, it's a wonder I'm still standing, but I think it's because he's holding me up. But I don't care. I'm melting in his touch right now, melting into all the emotion and feelings I can sense in his eyes, in his hands, in the words he says.

"Hikari, did you mean it?" he asks. "Did you really?"

I still don't speak, and I don't know why.

"I realized something, just now," he whispers. "I was waiting for you for so long, I almost forgot about it, about you. I almost made the biggest mistake of my life. Do you know what that was?"

I stare at him, my eyes wide.

"It was walking away from you."

I can't breathe.

Before I can speak, he kisses me.

It's very light, barely even a kiss, but I feel it all the same. And it's powerful. I can hardly breathe, hardly think at all. All I see is him, and all I feel is the touch of his lips against mine, ever so lightly. Then he inhales sharply, pulling back a little.

"Hikari…" he gasps, hoarse.

I shut my eyes, unable to meet his gaze.

"Oh, God, Hikari…," he gasps again in a low moan, struggling through a breaking voice. He breathes deeply, squeezing his eyes shut. "I can't," he whispers so softly I almost don't hear it.

But I do.

"Me neither," I admit back, and it isn't until then that I realize how true those words are.

I open my eyes and he looks at me seriously, sadly. I manage a small, tiny smile.

"Oh, but I wish I could, Daisuke," I tell him honestly. "I really do."

"I love her."

I smile again.

"I know."

"I love her," he repeats.

I nod, stepping back, pulling myself gently out of his arms.

"Go home, Daisuke."

He just stands there, staring at me, a look of pain on his face.

"If I could, if I only could—," he starts to say, but I shake my head.

"You love her, Daisuke. Go home to her, now. Please—,"

He blinks back tears. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'd die before I hurt you, I really would."

I nod, feeling my throat grow tight. "I know."

"I'm so sorry, Hikari…."

"Don't. Don't ever apologize for being in love." I smile bravely. "Promise me that, will you?"

"Yes," he breathes. "Yes. Anything, yes…."

And that was how I let him go.

But I came to another realization then, one that culminated from this radical, life-changing encounter.

I, Yagami Hikari, am not meant to be alone.

And I will never willingly allow myself to be alone again.

I will never be afraid again.

I will never be too late for love again.

And with that in mind, I call Willis with my answer.

* * *


	20. Chapter 20: Mimi

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

My mother's been staring at me ever since we came home, eyeing me carefully and with that _look_ mothers get. I try at first to ignore it, too tired from the flight and the move to really care at the moment, but it doesn't work for very long. In the middle of dinner, I slap my glass down on the table and demand, 

"_What_?"

She stares at me, appalled by my manners.

"Mimi, that's no way to behave at the table," she reprimands.

Pursing my lips, I stand and stomp to the living room, taking my bowl of noodles with me as I sit eating them dejectedly on the couch. My mother calls to me from the kitchen:

"Mimi! Darling, you'll spoil the sofa! Come eat in here!"

I swear to God, it's just like being back in school. Sooner or later she's going to ground me for coming home past curfew….

I hear the chair squeak and my father comes inside, silently joining me in the living room, sipping his drink.

"You do what you want, Mimi," he tells me firmly. "This is your home, too."

I don't smile back at him. Looking away, I stare into my bowl, poking at the boiled vegetables with a chopstick.

I used to hate eating carrots. I thought they were the most disgusting things in the world. I'd pick them out of any meal that included them, no matter where I was. But one day, when Miyako, Takeru, and I were at Hikari's apartment for dinner, Mrs. Yagami prepared a special dinner with little baby carrots as a side. I'd gotten my plate first and was sitting near the hallway on a chair, picking at the carrots, when he and Daisuke walked in, all sweaty and dirty and still hyper from their football game.

He saw me trying to sneak the yucky carrots away and demanded—to protect his mother's honor (which I never believed, since he was always complaining about how much he hated his mother's cooking)—that I show the courtesy of eating everything I was served. I refused and he grabbed for them, shoving them in my face, trying to make me swallow one. I wouldn't, and I wiggled and squirmed out of his reach, but he was still running on the adrenaline from his match, and he wasn't about to lose to my stubbornness.

Turning a deaf ear to my shrieks of protest, he tackled me to the floor, determined as ever to shove that carrot down my throat, while I kicked and hollered and vowed I'd never break—until he kissed me. Right there on the living room floor, covered in mud and sweat and smelling like dirt and grass. Right there in front of his parents, his sister, his friends. Right there like he'd done it so many times before, like it was just routine and trivial, and nothing but a silly, childish prank, a teasing trick.

But it wasn't. Not to me.

To me, it was our first kiss.

And I did the first thing that came to my mind: I kissed him back, hard, slipping my arms around his neck and my fingers through his hair…but he interrupted it by shoving a piece of a carrot into my open mouth and claiming victory.

I'd spit out the carrot on his shirt and he cried foul, exclaiming over his precious jersey, but Mr. Yagami came to my rescue, taking him by the collar and throwing him into the shower, yelling something about decency and proper hygiene and incurable idiocy. Takeru and Miyako were in tears laughing and Mrs. Yagami said I should have just told her I didn't like carrots and then I could have avoided kissing him. But I liked it. I liked how it tasted.

I still hate carrots.

I still like kissing him.

But it was a long time before he kissed me again. I was surprised it took him as long as it did. For a while, I was even worried he thought I didn't want him to try again, to finish it, which wasn't true; quite frankly, I would have followed him into the shower and gotten my second kiss myself, but I didn't think that'd be very wise considering his parents were in the next room. But even after he came out, fresh and smelling like shampoo and aftershave (and you'd better believe, he can clean up _really_ well), he just whisked by me and straight to the food, as though nothing had happened.

So I returned the favor.

I pretended it didn't happen either.

We stayed friends, only it was distant now. I began to spend more time with Yamato from that day on. Funny how things connect like that….

But it wasn't as though we stopped hanging out together completely. And occasionally—just for the hell of it, just like we'd been dared, it seemed—we still kissed. But it wasn't anything like that first time. None of them were _that_ kind of a kiss. We never talked about that kind of kiss; we never expected it, pretended we didn't want it again.

What we had instead were a series of brief, flirtatious, teasing pecks, strictly for teasing, trivial, friendly purposes, like when he scored the winning goal of his football match, or when I wanted to get out of talking to this weird, creepy stalker guy who'd been following me around campus, or his twentieth birthday party, or when I got accepted into a prestigious summer culinary program, or when he passed his difficult marketing finals, or New Year's Eve, or the one Valentine's Day when we were both dateless and sick of romance and we spent the night prank-calling the neighbors from the roof of his family's apartment building. Lying next to him on the cold floor of the roof, taking turns with the phone, mistaking airplanes for shooting stars, fighting over the last piece of take-out sushi, I think I would have made love to him under the cold February sky if a cranky tenant hadn't screamed at us to turn off our boom box just when the kiss was getting deeper, longer, _more_ than the others.

And that stupid evergreen dress.

It was my father's big night: he was retiring and it seemed all of New York was out to celebrate it with him. I was mad because I didn't want to be there, I wasn't fully over my breakup with Yamato the week before, my newly opened café was off to a rocky start and my parents were happy to remind me of it at every possible moment, and I was an entire ocean away from my best friends in Japan.

Then he showed up.

He was interning at a firm owned by one of my father's friends, and therefore he was the only one of my friends who had any reason to be there. I'd never been so relieved to see anyone in my entire life. He told me everything about his job, his career, his goals and plans. He was so excited and he loved New York, and all he would talk about was work, work, work, like he was trying to avoid something. I hated it when he did that, and the fact that he wouldn't look at me or dance with me or touch me just irritated me all the more; I couldn't figure out what his problem was and I wasn't in the mood to play his games. When I tried to say something about it, though, he'd pretend I hadn't and just change the subject. It was the longest one-sided conversation I'd ever had, and I had even more trouble staying focused, too affected by the alcohol and the stress and the way he was acting and the fight with my parents earlier that day about my future and the fact that they thought I wasn't going to have one of considerable value.

And when I accidentally tore the hem of my expensive new dress, I blew up and took it all out on him, denting his boss's very expensive company-owned Lexus with a furious kick to the passenger-side door.

He snapped. You'd have thought I killed football.

He was furious, I was furious, and we vented out all our frustrations in what I still believe is the best sex I've ever had.

My father panicked when I didn't show up for his grand dinner gala or whatever it was and my paranoid mother was one sob away from sending the entire New York police force out in search of me, but I finally stumbled home just in time to assure them I hadn't been kidnapped (though I admittedly alarmed them with my terribly unkempt appearance).

I couldn't get him out of my mind that night. I trembled all over, thinking about him and how much we let ourselves go, and how could I have ever been so stupid to take advantage of him when I was so stressed about everything. I wanted to tell him the truth, tell him how I felt, but he beat me to it. Because when I called him the next morning, they told me he'd already left for Chicago, having been relocated unexpectedly just that morning. Before I could track him down, my mother intervened to conveniently introduce me to Michael.

So I let him go.

It's amazing, really, how many times I let him walk away from me.

And every time, I can't understand why. Not why he'd leave; why I _let_ him, when I know—I _know_ how much I hate it. I hate missing him.

Because—

Because maybe I…maybe I just—

"Mimi, are you listening?"

I look up. "What?"

My mother frowns. "We're discussing your future, remember?"

I stare at her blankly.

With a sigh, she continues, "It was supposed to be a surprise, something special for you since we admittedly haven't been the…well, in hindsight we haven't behaved the way we could have. And we thought that you'd appreciate coming to California with us this summer. Of course, we'd booked the vacation before—before everything changed…but I still think it's a good idea for you, sweetie. And now—now you won't have any distractions. No obligations, no responsibilities, nothing. So take the ticket and treat yourself, all right? Spend some time by yourself, sort things out. All right, Mimi? Sweetheart, do you understand what I'm saying?"

I shake my head slowly. "You've been planning…."

"A surprise, darling," she finishes for me helpfully. "I wanted to give you a party, do something nice, but now…. Well, I don't think we should let the whole idea go to waste, should we? Take the ticket, Mimi. Forget about him."

"What?" I breathe after a long moment.

My mother rises nonchalantly from her chair as she returns to the kitchen. My father's frowning at his newspaper, his eyes unmoving as he listens to us.

"Stop thinking about him," she repeats in a detached voice. "It won't do you any good. Just do yourself a favor, darling, and stop this nonsense. You deserve more."

I look at my father, dazed, but he refuses to meet my gaze.

In complete disbelief, I glance back and forth between the two of them, speechless.

Then the phone rings. I'm vaguely aware of my father answering. Minutes later, he calls my name and holds the phone out to me. "It's Sora."

Even more confused, I instinctively take the call, answering mechanically, still having trouble connecting my actions to my thoughts. I feel like someone else is living inside of me and I'm just watching this all happen to me. Nothing makes sense, and I'm still drowning in my parents' final words as I listen to Sora's voice.

"Mimi—Mimi, before you hang up," she says hurriedly, "just hear me out, okay?"

I don't say anything, feeling dizzy.

"I am so sorry about what I did. I am going to make it up to you, I swear. But for a moment—just _one_ moment, can't we get past everything, all my mistakes, and for the sake of our friendship and how far back we go and how deep our bond is, for the sake of us, can't you please do me one small favor?"

I still don't answer.

"Mimi? Please?"

"All right," I whisper.

She sighs, relieved.

"Good, hold on a minute, okay?"

I nod, knowing she wouldn't be able to hear a nod, but not really caring right now. I just want to get this all over with. I can feel a headache coming on and I'm suddenly overwhelmingly fatigued. But I force myself to wait patiently, listening.

My blood runs cold when I hear what comes next:

"I need you to come back."

I sit absolutely still on the couch, my tongue frozen in my mouth. I'm too shocked to wonder why he's on the phone, what he's doing, what Sora's planning.

Mr. Yagami takes my silence as permission to continue.

"You have to. He's my son, my child, and I have the right to see him happy. Nothing is going to take that away from me, Mimi. And no one should. And now I realize—and you know I would never lie to you—I realize that what is happening to my son has everything to do with you. And if you can help him…if you're the one who can bring him back to me, to us, then I—I am begging you to just try. If not for yourself, then for him. Please don't leave him the way he is now. Because I know how much he cares for you, Mimi. I know. Fathers know these things about their sons, and I know him. For God's sake, Mimi, it's just the way he _looks_ at you. Please…all I'm asking is for you to try. Just—just try one last time?"

I can't even breathe.

"Mimi?"

"I don't…I don't think I can—,"

"Don't tell me that," he says quietly.

My vision's suddenly cloudy, and it takes me a moment to realize it's because of the tears I'm struggling to keep inside. Squeezing my eyes shut, I bit my bottom lip hard, wishing I could block out the entire world and just—just start over.

I just want to start over, from the very beginning. I want to go back to the beginning, to before any of this happened, to—to him and his smile and the way he used to be….

So I go back.

With the assurance and support of my very best friends, I go back.

Not knowing if he'll take me, I go back.

Because it's just something I _have_ to do. I don't have a choice; I can't leave it the way it is, without a proper resolution. It can't just end, but if it must, it can't this way. I know Mr. Yagami's right. Everything would have been harder if I knew I never tried.

My mother looks at me curiously. I nod to her, mumbling my good-byes and hanging up the telephone. My father waits expectantly. I take a deep breath.

"Okay," I tell them.

They stare.

"I'll take the ticket…to California."

A smile stretches across my mother's face in pure satisfaction. "Wonderful!"

"We'll have to schedule a few events for you to—,"

"No," I shake my head, interrupting my father. "I want to go as soon as possible."

"But Mimi—,"

"I have to clear this all out of my head now, Mama. I have to deal with this _now_."

She frowns thoughtfully, exchanging looks with my father, who finally sighs. "Well, all right. You are old enough to handle things on your own. I'll call the travel agency."

"It's okay," I interrupt again, taking the phone. "I can do it."

My father smiles proudly and my mother beams. I offer a weak smile in response as they babble something about helping me pack and arranging for rides and traveler's checks.

Inside, my conscious is voting me the worst daughter on the planet, but I'm trying to drown the little voice out. As much as I hate lying to my parents like this, I know they'd never let me go if I told them the truth. But then again, I would have gone anyway. This is my life and my problems, and I'm tired of relying on them to pull me out of the muck and mire. I can do this all on my own. I _have_ to.

The next few days are a blur, a mess of conflicted emotions of insecurity and confidence, all scrambled between conversations with Hikari, with Takeru, with Miyako, and with Sora. Sora, who happily helped me lie and sneak behind my parents' backs, who had to yell at the travel agent to cancel my parents' gift to California and book that ticket to New York instead and threathen the poor agent about not telling my parents, who spent an hour in the women's restrooms at the airport convincing me not to change my mind and not to let him go. I really wanted to believe her—no, I _want_ to believe her, but it's just…well, it's one thing to commit to something like this verbally, but to actually do it, to actually face him?

I _must_ be out of my mind.

I'm so far gone, so helpless and desperate and confused, I can't even think or see straight. Half the time, what I'm looking at isn't there, what I'm living feels like a dream and my dreams—my confusing, overwhelming, broken dreams—feel so real….

Still wrapped in my unending daze, I stumble off the flight, wide-eyed but exhausted.

Miyako and Ken meet me at the airport, each of them grinning stupidly but trying to conceal it. I don't have to ask what's going on; one glance at the simple gold ring on her left hand tells me everything. Being discreet, we excuse ourselves to the restrooms to squeal and shriek and cry, until she gathers her composure and looks me square in the eye.

"But we're celebrating tomorrow, not today, because I don't want you to have to look back and remember this as—," she tries to say, but I interrupt.

I shake my head. "This is and always will be _your_ day, Miyako. I want you to promise me that when _you_ look back on this, you won't think about the mess of my life, but how magical yours is going to be. Promise?"

She smiles. "I promise."

Ken treats us to lunch and I accept tiredly, determined not to spoil the good mood. Thankfully, Miyako reads my mind and suggests taking me back to the hotel early. She explains that Yamato and Hikari are still out trying to track the latter's brother down, but that it's already been decided that I should settle in Hikari's hotel room while I wait. Nervous and feeling a little nauseas, I agree. So the couple drops me off near the hotel, and Miyako gives me a great big hug, whispering in my ear how much she loves me and that no matter what happens, she always will. I return the embrace, wondering how I ever managed to find such good friends, hoping I never let them down.

But now, I have something else to worry about.

No, not worry. I'm way past worry. I'm near anxious, confused, bewildered, terrified, and desperate. I don't even know what I'm doing, except that I have to do it as soon as possible.

Taking a deep breath, I force myself not to think about it and focus on getting to the hotel.

Clutching the slip of paper with the directions to Hikari's and the others' hotel, I wander through the streets of New York, feeling very much like the way I felt when I was lost on Kyoto's campus, right before he found me and made all my worries go away. I take another deep breath, remembering that feeling, holding on to it desperately, and praying that somehow, whatever I'm about to do will make this nightmare go away forever.

I finally find the hotel and take the elevator to the correct floor. Hikari had said to meet her in her room, but when I'm just about to knock on the door, it opens and out steps Yamato.

I stop.

He stares back at me, equally surprised.

"You came," he says after a long moment, still standing in the doorway.

"Yes," I whisper.

Yamato blinks, glancing back into the room. He hesitates, then shuts the door quickly, sharply, causing me to jump a little in startled alarm.

"Miyako and Ken told me to wait in here," I add lamely.

He sighs. "Well, you can…but he's in there."

I stare at him, frozen.

"What?"

He looks down at his shoes. "I found him, managed to talk him into coming back here and seeing Hikari at least, but I didn't realize she and Willis were still out. He decided to wait for her here and I have to meet my manager in a few minutes, so I was about to go. I left Hikari a message though, to tell you in case you came early." He pauses. "I didn't tell him you were here, though."

I stare past his shoulder and at the closed door.

After all this time, after all this…I can't believe he's right through that door.

"Mimi," Yamato begins after another moment, his voice low and strange.

I look up at him blankly, only slowly realizing what position he is in. my hand flies to my mouth, and I can only barley comprehend what he must be struggling with right now.

"Oh my God, Yamato, I didn't—," I stammer, but he shakes his head.

"He's my best friend," Yamato says.

I shut my eyes. "Yamato, I—,"

"And I want you to be happy."

I open my eyes again and stare at him.

He steps aside, leaving the doorway free. "Don't let him go."

I'm tongue-tied, unable to move. He stares right back at me, confident, firm, unwavering, smiling not with a sad heart but an understanding one.

"When you just know it's right, you don't let anything get in your way," he adds softly. "Okay?"

Without a second thought, I throw my arms around him, pinning him to the wall and kissing him on the mouth, a deep, pure, romantic kiss, our very last one. He accepts it, wrapping his arms around me tight, deepening our embrace affectionately and friendlily and understandingly and lovingly—all at once.

The door opens.

"When did you say Hikar—?" and then he stops suddenly.

Yamato immediately shoves me back. "Taichi, don't—,"

But Taichi doesn't do anything. He just stands there, frozen, one hand on the doorknob, unable to take his eyes off of us.

"She's here for you, Taichi," Yamato says. "_You_."

Taichi starts shaking his head, trying to push past him and get out of the room, but Yamato stops him, forcing him back. Yamato presses him against the wall, refusing to budge.

"And you're going to listen to her," he commands firmly.

Taichi doesn't even meet his gaze.

Or mine.

Trembling, I look at Yamato, who nods at me reassuringly. I slip into the room and wait as he makes sure Taichi is inside as well before closing the door behind him.

And suddenly, we're alone.

Looking at him, I can hardly believe we're here now, at this very moment, after all the things we've been through and gone through together. I can't believe it's come to this. To us, like this. I'm lost in a sea of memories, of Valentine's Day and a dented Lexus and carrots and peanuts and a kiss in the moonlight over a silent lake.

"I saw him," I whisper finally. It's too dark to read the expression on his face, which must mean he can't read mine, so I'm comforted. I still stare at him, though, unblinkingly. His silhouette rests very still against the opposite wall as he straightens. He doesn't reply, probably knowing I'll speak again.

"I saw him, Taichi. In my dreams. Nearly every night since you—since you left…."

He looks away, his voice carefully controlled. "Who?"

"Our son."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Don't—,"

Afraid he's going to stop me, I continue in a rush, "He was beautiful, Taichi." I pause, then correct myself: "He _is_ beautiful. His eyes are like mine, and he has my mother's dimples and your father's auburn hair." I laugh. "And he has your smile, Tai."

And then I start to cry, pressing the heel of my palm into my mouth to keep from making too much noise as the silent tears run down my cheeks. I don't want to break down now, not in front of him, not before I finish what I meant to say. I'm not done telling him the truth, making him realize what he did to me leaving like that. I want him to hurt for it, too. I want him to _hurt_. And that just makes me cry more.

I whisper, "He was _our_ son, _our_ child. He was supposed to bring us _together._" I gasp, scrubbing at my face furiously. "And now we're losing everything he started, everything, because we're too _dumb_ and _stubborn_ and _selfish_ to face the truth—,"

He interrupts, voice hoarse, "That's enough."

"No! You have to listen to me! You're _not_ going to throw me away like this! I am _not_ letting you do that to _our_ son, our future—,"

"_Mimi, I said _stop_ it_," he repeats, gritting his teeth.

"I _won't_!"

"_Mimi_!"

"No! I _won't_ stop! I'm _not_ going! I'm not leaving, _I won't go_!"

Without warning, he grabs for me violently, angrily. I shut my eyes, flinching, terrified. And when he sees how scared I am, he immediately lets go, horrified, backing away from me until he hits the wall and he sinks down the ground, leaning against it heavily. I drop to my knees where I stand, burying my face in my hands. Gasping, I swallow my tears and force myself to look up.

He has his face in his hands as well, his fingers gripping his hair tightly, his arms shaking.

I stare at him, breathing hard.

"I can't do this anymore, Taichi," I whisper.

He doesn't say anything.

"I've got to move on. I've got to learn to let go, to get pass this."

He doesn't look at me.

I take a deep breath, "I realized that this all happened to bring us together, to show us how much we need each other, to make us admit it. Now I understand, Tai. I understand everything: it's you. It's always been you. It will always be you."

Through his fingers, he says seriously, "I hurt you, Mimi. That's all I do to you. I don't even- I don't know if I could _ever_ make you happy."

I sigh. "You do. _You_ do." I smile. "Don't you understand, Taichi? Don't you know?"

He looks up slowly, silent.

"I'm in love with you," I whisper.

He shuts his eyes again and leans back against the wall, his face turned up to the ceiling.

I shiver, sniffling, waiting.

"Please don't leave me behind again. I want to go with you. Take me with you." I scrub at my cheeks, breathing slowly to even my breaths. "I want to be with you."

After a long moment, he opens his eyes finally but continues to stare at the ceiling, avoiding me. "He was afraid you would."

I blink, confused. "What?"

"Yamato," he explains dully, without emotion.

I stare at him in complete surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"He always thought you…you seemed more natural around—around me," he stumbles over the words as if they were unwanted, and I wince, dreading what he must think of me now. "But I told him he had nothing to worry about." He pauses, smiling sadly. "I told him nothing would happen." He sighs. "I told him that…."

I hold my breath, waiting, fearful.

He casts a hand over his face tiredly. "I tried so hard not to let it happen, to stop it, to tell myself it wasn't true, and I finally convinced myself to believe it wasn't—,"

"I'm in love with you, Taichi," I interrupt desperately.

He keeps going, unfazed, "—and then the baby and then your parents and then the hospital and then Sora and then Hikari and then you—,"

I move closer to him. "I'm in love with you."

"—I can't handle this anymore, I really can't. I couldn't when you were with him and I still can't now, because I know, I _know_ you'll never be with me—,"

"I'm in love with you."

"—and I shouldn't want it, I can't, so I told myself I didn't, I wouldn't, and I believed me—,"

I'm right in front of him now, close enough to touch his face, close enough to kiss him. But I only touch my hand to his arm and he flinches violently, like I've shocked him. I lean into him. "I'm in love with you."

"No, you're not," he replies defiantly.

"Yes."

"No. God, you're not. You're not."

I touch his face, holding him with both of my trembling hands. He has his eyes closed real tight, like he's wishing me to disappear.

"You can't," he says finally, desperately. "You can't be. Not with me. You just can't—,"

"Taichi, tell me why," I interrupt him firmly, determinedly.

"Why, what?" he whispers, still not looking at me.

"Tell me why it can't be you."

"Mimi, I told you, it isn't me."

"Why not?"

"Mimi—don't start, please—,"

"How do you know that?" I continue, ignoring him.

"_Mimi_."

"How do you know?" I repeat.

He doesn't answer.

"How do you know, Taichi?"

"I just…."

"No, you don't know. You don't. Tell me you don't know."

"Stop this, please—,"

"Tell me you don't know."

"I—,"

"You, what? Tell me, Taichi."

He's shaking his head. "I don't want to lose you, and I don't want to disappoint you, and I don't want to hurt you—,"

"The only thing hurting me now is having you this close but still not having _you_," I whisper.

He opens his eyes finally.

I meet his gaze, my outward steadfast confidence belying the wreck I am inside.

"I'm in love—,"

"—with you," he finishes, and then he covers my mouth with his, locking me in his arms so suddenly that I can't respond from the shock. Melting, I wrap my arms around his neck, returning the kiss as fiercely and hungrily as he does. Moving my hands to cup his face, I force his lips apart and reach for his tongue, meeting it boldly. The kiss continues until my lungs feel ready to burst and I shove back, gasping.

Before I can say anything or even catch my breath completely, he takes the back of my neck, tilting my face to look up into his. "Mimi," he says, "don't _ever_ let me believe I've lost you again."

"You're never going to lose me, Tai," I whisper into his mouth, "no matter what they say."

And I mean it because I love him. And I love the way he loves me, the way he proves it to me even when I know I don't deserve it. And I love the way he makes me feel alive, the way his every touch awakens something deep inside of me, just when I think I can never feel anything like that again. And I love the way he is. _His_ everything, in spite of all _his_ flaws and shortcomings, is just like _my_ everything, in spite of all _my_ flaws and shortcomings. And that's beautiful to me.

Waking up beneath him that morning, I can still taste him, can still remember everything, and I know now where I belong. So I touch my lips to his shoulder, holding his arms tightly, and whisper his name into his ear. He mumbles something incoherent and then rolls over on his back, laying his forearm over his closed eyes. Smiling groggily, I kiss his cheek, tracing his jaw with my tongue slowly.

"Aw, give me a break, woman," he protests, eyes still closed. He turns his face to the side. "I'm tired."

"Hey, that's supposed to be my line," I reply.

"You're too high-maintenance," he complains.

I giggle, rolling over to straddle him. I lean forward, "Whatever happened to Yagami _I-can-go-all-night-and-into-the-next-day_ Taichi?"

"He got replaced by Yagami _I-can't-risk-pulling-a-muscle_ Taichi."

"Give me back the old one," I whine.

"Too late. I fired him."

"That's false advertisement, you know."

"What are you going to do? Sue me?"

I make a face at him. "I can do a lot worse than that."

"Ooh, I'm so scared."

"Don't make fun of me!"

"Don't make it so easy."

"So you're going to be like that, are you?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be like this. Now get off. You're heavy."

I gasp, mortified. "How dare you!"

"Believe me, I dare."

"Attitude, then? You want to play dirty?"

"Actually, yeah."

I smack him in the chest with a fist.

"Hey, you asked!" he protests, trying to escape as I smack him again.

"You weren't supposed to answer like _that_!"

"I'm _male_, Mimi. How did you think I was going to answer?"

"You're awful!"

"That's not what you said last ni—,"

I knee him in the crotch.

"Hey!" he winces. "Do you want some more of this or not?"

"Do you want some more of _this_ or not?" I shoot back.

He pulls me down, locking me in his arms tightly. "I love you, Mi."

Damn him.

"Yeah, yeah," I say, disgruntled and irritated that I can't ever stay mad at him long enough.

He grins. "Guess what?" he says between kisses.

I'm not the least bit interested. "What?"

"I'm still moving to London."

I stop. Then I pull myself up, balancing myself on my outstretched arms, and stare down at him. "_What_?" I demand lowly.

"It's a good offer, Mi," he says softly. "I can't turn it down."

I'm shocked. "Even after last night?"

He grins, reaching for me, but I break away and climb back on the bed, leaving him entangled in the sheets on the floor, which, I've found, is where sex with Taichi usually ends up. He struggles out and sits up, looking at me sadly.

"Mimi, come on-,"

"I can't believe you," I glower, finding my bra under a pillow and snapping it on.

"Will you just listen to me?"

"How could you do this to me, Taichi?" I explode, feeling tears start to fall. After everything we've been through, he wants to throw _another_ curve ball at me? Doesn't he know I can't take this anymore? Doesn't he know how much I need him? "I finally told you how I feel and you decide to leave me in the same breath?"

"It's not just about you," he interrupts hotly. "I told you, it's a good opportunity. My career could really do well in London."

"_Right_. It's _your_ work. It's always about _your_ work, _your_ life. Well, _my_ business is going bankrupt, _my_ life is a complete mess right now, and I still chose you. But, no. You chose London. Well, _fine_, Taichi. Go ahead and leave, it'll only kill me but what do you care?"

He's standing now, climbing back on the bed. He reaches for me but I throw a pillow at him and jump out of his way.

"I didn't choose London. I chose you. I _choose_ you," he stresses.

"Don't even," I snap back, turning away, struggling into my clothes.

"Mimi, I'm asking you to come with me."

Slowly, very slowly, I turn around, my face pale. "_What_?" I breathe softly.

He's looking directly into my eyes. The intensity of his gaze is staggering.

"Come to London with me," he whispers.

I sink to the floor. He's by my side in the next second, holding my hand tentatively.

"London?"

He speaks in a great rush, excited and anxious and eager, "We can start over there, just the two of us, together. You can even start up your business again. I'm willing to invest. And I hear Europe's crazy about cafés."

He smiles at me nervously and I stare back in complete shock.

"Well, what do you say?" he whispers, leaning in to touch his forehead to mine."Wanna run away with me?"

* * *


	21. Epilogue

**Been There**

* * *

A group of friends- Mimi, Sora, Hikari, and Miyako- living in the heart of Tokyo struggle with men, parents, and careers. What's the life lesson learned? Comfort foods must always come in fours. 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

It's a rather peaceful, uneventful afternoon. 

Aside from the occasional girly shriek from the bedroom where the girls have congregated to once again examine every tiny detail about Ken's proposal, the rest of the newly engaged couple's apartment is pleasantly quiet.

The congratulation flowers Jyou sent are sitting on the kitchen table in a decorative vase.

Koushiro and Iori's cards are propped up by the telephone so the whole world can see as soon as one enters the kitchen.

The chocolate-dipped strawberries from the gift package Daisuke and Sumiko sent have long since been devoured.

Willis, who's settled happily in his new job and has accepted Hikari's request to stay friends, wants to plan their honeymoon in Colorado, where he's convinced they'll have the best of times (they're not entirely sure).

An amusing message left by a half-drunk (Miyako prefers the optimistic term _half-sober_) Takeru—he'd just come home from an extravagant night at the sports bar with his co-workers when he'd heard the news—has been saved on the answering machine for Ken to blackmail him with at a more appropriate time.

Yamato has happily agreed to arrange the music for the wedding, which immediately sent Daisuke off on a teasing rant about the music for _his_ wedding.

Sora, who's taking up working as their wedding planner with Yamato, has plans to start her own business beginning with designing and running both weddings, which seems to satisfy Daisuke.

Hikari, who's been much happier and livelier ever since she's started to move forward with her life, started the wedding registry for her friends at a local store, and she's been helping Miyako tell the whole story (as a team, they figure all of Tokyo will know by sunset). The story of how Inoue Miyako is getting married to her perfect man, who blurted the proposal out in the middle of the dirty New York subway after a stranger bumped into him hard and caused him to drop the box with the engagement ring inside. Miyako hadn't cared that it was covered in dirt or that the box was broken now. She'd thrown herself on top of him and screamed _yes, yes, yes_. New York may think she's weird, but Ken thinks she's beautiful, and clearly, only he matters.

All squealed out, the girls finally leave the bedroom and go into the kitchen to prepare for that evening's celebration dinner for their friends. Miyako wants something very special; Hikari, something simple; and Sora, something healthy. They're arguing about it in a joking way, fumbling through the cabinets and wishing a certain someone was there to help.

Thankfully, they're interrupted:

Someone pounds on the door. "_What the hell is the meaning of this_?"

Miyako stares at Sora with wide eyes. Hikari shrugs.

"_Open up! Open up, right now_!"

Miyako goes to open the door and is met by the angry red face of Mr. Tachikawa and a sobbing, emotional Mrs. Tachikawa.

"What—?" she starts to ask, confused, but Keisuke stomps past her and straight to a bewildered Hikari. He shoves a postcard with a picture of Big Ben on the front under her nose furiously, unable to speak.

Sora takes the postcard and reads aloud, "'Dear Mama and Papa, I love Taichi and he loves me. We're moving to London. Your princess, Mimi.'"

The girls look at each other, speechless. Hikari's eyes are as big as saucers, Sora's disbelief is written all over her face, and Miyako—well, Miyako looks like she won the lottery. Or as if Mimi's won the lottery.

She lets out a woot, clapping, completely oblivious to the looks everyone's giving her.

"Ha! They finally did it!"

"That's _not_ a good thing!" Satoe wails. "My poor, sweet _baby_'s left her family for a—,"

"Hey, he's my brother!" Hikari interrupts hotly, frowning at her.

"_And I'm going to kill him so help me God_!" Keisuke bellows, the vein in his forehead popping as his face slowly turns purple.

No one seems to notice.

"That is so sweet!" Miyako croons, gazing at the letter gushingly.

"Isn't it?" Sora is equally happy. "Who'd have thought Taichi could be so romantic?"

"You call running away romantic?" Satoe cries in disbelief.

"I call defying the odds romantic," Miyako corrects with a sigh.

"_They aren't supposed to be together_!" Keisuke shouts angrily.

Hikari winks.

"Which is _exactly_ why they are."

* * *

**Author's Note**: Before someone starts throwing shoes at me for stopping here, remember that I _am_ planning on a sequel which will be from the guys's points-of-view.Hopefully this ending sufficed for this half of the story. (Keyword being "half".) 


End file.
